Author/agent question: Time

I recently had an agent email me, "Love your writing, want to talk. What's a good time?" I emailed back some suggestions. Haven't heard back yet (several days later). What should I do, if anything? Needless to say, this is causing some suffering.

Was it me?

This kind of thing happens to me more than either of us wish.

It's not that I don't care, or I'm not interested. It's that things just pile up, and good intentions, much like my flask, get buried under incoming stuff.

Today for example, I had a list of 16 things to do. I got through eight of them because six NEW things popped up that were both urgent and important.***

So, yes, I didn't get to an email to schedule a phone call with a potential client (important but not urgent.)

I wish I had, but I didn't.

Here's what that means for you: Keep querying! Don't assume This Is It. And ping Miss TardyPants once a week (not Monday) to express your continued interest in talking to her. Unless it's Barbara Poelle. If it is La Slitherina, email me and we'll conference her in on a call and do an a cappella version of this to motivate her:





Also, make sure you check your spam filter. I'm not sure why but my spam filter is unusually voracious this week. (Probably cause she's unhappy to be back from vacation.)








The four categories, drawn from The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People (one of the best book titles EVER) are:
1. Important and Urgent
2. Not important but Urgent
3. Important but not urgent
4. Not important and not urgent (renewing your passport that doesn't expire for a year for example) 

Congrats to Barbara Poelle!

This news was in the trades today:

And then when we saw this coming down the Hudson:

Clearly BP the VP travels in style!

Is it still Shark Week? (it's ALWAYS Shark Week!)

---this was sent to me by Editor Awesome

who SHOULD be editing but..well, isn't.

Told ya!

Back in 2008 I posted about a delightful unpublished writer named Sophie Littlefield.  [To  refresh your memory the post is here. ]

I was reminded of that post's prediction  when this arrived in the mail:

We love this cover ALOT!

This is the fourth!! Stella novel following A BAD DAY FOR (1) SORRY (2) PRETTY and (3) SCANDAL.


Since one of my mum's sayings is "My favorite interior decorating tool is the hammer" the cover appeals to me on several levels!


Congratulations Sophie Littlefield! And yes, your slithery agent Barbara Poelle can have 15% of the adoration!

Sometimes the best part of a party is the thank you

yes the writing got smudged cause we learned ice cubes are slippery the hard way.

What did Barbara Poelle leave at the bar last night? **UPDATED

A great time was had by all, particularly the ever-slithery Barbara Poelle, agent extraordinaire (and by extraordinaire I mean Potato Vodka Queen of the Known Universe)

Sadly Barbara forgot an item at the party. She texted us to ask us to hang on to it if we found it.

What did Barbara lose?

Was it A: her tiara?

Was it B: the keys to her dungeon manuscript reading room?

Was it C: her pink sombrero?

Was it D: her own version of BossyPants?

Was it E: her date for the evening?***

***Barbara telexed from her hideout an undisclosed location to let me know the date did not quite as well as she'd hoped:

Was it E: All of the above?

Was it F: none of the above?

For the entryway to The Reef!

thanks to Gary Corby, I found this.  I may take up a collection to fund the purchase! Don't you think it would set exactly the right tone for The Reef?  Better yet, I could bring it to writing conferences!

Or wait...this could be the Best Christmas Present EVAH for my most slithery colleague of all: Barbara Poelle!

What ho, BaPo!

It's amazing what La Slitherina is looking forward to reading in 2011.

If I wasn't terrified of falling over a crashcart and a still, I'd swim over and thank her myself.

Another favorite Bouchercon moment

Barbara Poelle yodelling "15% of that is MINE!" when Sophie Littlefield won the Anthony for Best First Novel of 2009 for A BAD DAY FOR SORRY.

You're not wasting my time

If you send me a query, and you've revised it more than once, read it aloud, and proofed it, you're not wasting my time by sending it. No matter what.

It might not be something I want to read; how will we know unless you query?
It might be something that doesn't fit what I do really well; how will we know unless you query?

It might make me scream bloody murder and hide under the covers (Score! Query for the Win!); how will we know unless you query?

Short point to this post: You are not wasting my time by querying even if it's not right for me. I want you to query. (I want you to query WELL which is the point of all this ranting on the blog and QueryShark.blogspot.com but even bad queries are better than none.)

You are my farm team. I need a bunch of you coming up the ranks to write great novels. I mean someone has to give the slithery Barbara Poelle a run for her money.

Twist and Spout...Agent Style

I was swimming around my apartment this morning, answering queries and gnawing on clients when I heard a very odd, rather splashy kind of sound.

I hastened to the apartment quadrant with running water (kitchen, bath, distillery) to see if a pipe had sprung a leak. Or perhaps a neighbor had sprung a leak. No, it was all quiet on the cistern front. But, yet, the noise continued.

I went to the window: nothing on the balcony fire escape but the usual assortment of deadbeat winged rats trespassing pigeons.

I was flummoxed. What could it be??

Then I realized it came from my computer! Yes, my webcam was focused on the Irene Goodman Literary Agency, specifically The Slithery One herself. Who was apparently NOT at her desk but dancing joyously in some waterfront dive bar --and here's the footage to prove it!:






Now you might wonder what got The Slithery One in such an ebullient mood. The cause was revealed moments later when a liveried footman arrived at my door with a framed copy of the latest STARRED review from Publishers Weekly for ♥ Sophie Littlefield♥

Much can be said about Miss Littlefield, but let's all remember, I said it first.

Here's not the last, but the latest:

A Bad Day for Pretty by Sophie Littlefield.

Littlefield’s rollicking second novel featuring tough-talking Stella Hardesty, who manages a sewing shop and doles out her own brand of justice to wife-beaters, delivers on the promise of her debut, A Bad Day for Sorry. (which, let us all remember is actually the EDGAR NOMINATED A Bad Day for Sorry!!!)

When a tornado uncovers a mummified woman buried at the Prosper, Mo., fairgrounds, the police suspect Neb Donovan, whom Stella once helped kick an OxyContin addiction, and Stella reluctantly accepts Donna Donovan’s pleas to clear her husband’s name.

Complicating Stella’s investigation—and her long-simmering feelings for Sheriff Goat Jones—is the arrival of Goat’s former wife, Brandy Truax, who has designs on her ex and a possible link to the murdered woman. With her plucky assistant, Chrissy Shaw, Stella must exonerate Neb while eluding the real killer.

Littlefield wields humor like a whip, but never lets it dilute the whodunit.

A force to be reckoned with, Stella is a welcome addition to the world of unorthodox female crime fighters. (June)

She not only slithers, she leaps

Most agents just read their queries to acquire clients.

Barbara Poelle has a different strategy. Here's footage:

Only read this if you have time to re-do your makeup

and all queries to the Slithery Barbara Poelle should now be accompanied by an airhorn (post on gifts with queries not withstanding)

Feeling stuck? Live in the Bay area? Here's help

Two years ago at GrubStreet in Boston a very smart editor thrust a rather startled author at me and said "here, read her stuff. She's amazing."

No fool I, I did. And the author was amazing. Unfocused, without a plot anywhere near ready, but with an amazing voice.

The author reworked the opening scenes, sent it back to me. When we next met at 2008 CrimeBake I gently urged her to put this one away and start on something new. I still couldn't see a plot, and couldn't see what the hell she'd do with the situation she'd put her characters in, but oh man, her voice was AMAZING.

I also encouraged her to talk to other agents, and she did.

This year at CrimeBake as we were lying around yapping, Slithery Barbara Poelle mentioned a book she was excited about. She described it and about six of us came up off the bar.

"Wait! I read that!"
"Hey, I read that!"
"What do you mean, you fixed that!!"

What Barbara had done as pretty much only Barbara can do, is see past what's wrong, and make pretty good suggestions for how to FIX things.

Frankly, I'm in awe of SBP and her ability to do this. It's one of the many things that make her a very smart, very formidable talent spotter.

Now, what does that mean for you?

Well, if you've gotten a lot of "nice rejections" or lots of comments like "I like this but it's just not quite right" you'd benefit from some time with Barbara.

And you're in luck. This coming weekend, she'll be the agent in residence at the Berkley Crime Conference. And further luck: this is a small conference, not one with hundreds of writers. You'd get some serious time for Barbara to hear about your book, and work her magic.

Frankly, you'd be a fool to miss this chance.

Register here.

you know all those "day in the life" uplifting articles

about literary agents that you read in Writers Digest or perhaps on blogs?

Yea well, THIS is how my day begins:

Email
FR: Poelle, Barbara (slithering)
TO: Reid, Janet

Subj: I just called you at the office and..

Text: Whoever answered said, "she isn't in..."
and I said, "Ahh yes, she'll stumble in sometime later smelling like yesterday's booze and broken men..." and it was dead silent for a second UNTIL I said, "can you tell her Barbara Poelle called?" and there was an AUDIBLE sigh of relief

clearly, my reputation precedes me



with friends like this, I clearly need another drink.
And it's 11:00 am.

I'm not sure if the writers attending CrimeBake are ready for us!

I'm catching up with my blog reading tonight

This Barbara Poelle person; where have I heard about her before?

Barbara Poelle is on the loose!

My most beloved slithery colleague Barbara Poelle is roaming the conference world in the next couple weeks. You can catch the two of us in Myrtle Beach and Boston. She'll be the one working. I'll be the other one.

If you've got a chance to meet with Barb, here are some questions you'll want to be SURE to ask.

Haiku Hijinx...and the winner!

There were a number of excellent entries to the contest. Thanks to everyone who had fun doing this! Here, in no particular order are the semi finalists:


The Slithery One Herself:
the great white shark leaps
slithery barbara poelle
rubs his snout to sleep

But since La Slithette already has a copy of BAD DAY FOR SORRY, and because she doesn't get any bonus points she didn't actually count as an entry.

Benjamim: oops, sorry! BenjaminN
Pre-published blowhard
Deer Ms.. Barbarra Poellle
Why Janet reject?

This cracked me up.



James:
Stabbed by the pen of
slithery Barbara Poelle,
I plead, what monkey?

This is the reason you hang out with agents in the bar at writing conferences: you can send haiku with little in-jokes (monkey!) It certainly wouldn't be for any other reason!


Ana:
Destined for You Tube,
Slithery Barbra Poelle?
Chicken suit or bust!

The idea of Barbara in chicken suit is delightful. Sadly, I think she may have the last cackle on that bet.

Jen:
My client is fab
Look, Godiva chocolates!
Keep your damn' fangs off

This cracked me up too!



These really capture the essence of Ms. Poelle:

Lauren:
Now, queries abound
Slithery Barbara Poelle
Needs octopus arms


Sarah:
She is slithery
With her little red balloon
That Barbara Poelle



Scott:
With quaint cleverness,
Slithery Barbara Poelle,
tricked Janet again!



BJ:
Reid's evil colleague
Slithery Barbara Poelle
Now octopus food


Heather:
One more deal lost to
slithery Barbara Poelle
tears of envy fall...


Kerensa:
Read my manuscript,
Slithery Barbara Poelle
Did. Rejected it.


Brenda:
Thievin’ and cheatin’
Slithery Barbara Poelle
Beguiled Sophie



Rebecca:
I must outwit the
Slithery Barbara Poelle.
Give scotch, steal author?


NB:
Slithery is not
Barbara Poelle's middle
name, is it? Ask Janet!


And the finalists are:


Third place:

Lucy:
Octopus agent;
Slithery Barbara Poelle;
Choose; but choose wisely.


Second place:

Jean:
Buy the book she says,
Slithery Barbara Poelle
Thanks for the great read.



And two first place winners:


Daisy:
well that's just peachy
I bought mine on release day
so I can't enter

I loved this because of course, this was an entry and in perfect form.



And the winner (who gets the book):

Carrie:
A bad day, but not
for octopi, slithery
Barbara Poelle said



Thanks again to all who entered!

Entertainment Weekly gives Sophie Littlefield's debut an A!

I knew it!
I knew Sophie Littlefield was going to be a big name.
I said it here!

And, I was RIGHT!

Look at what Entertainment Weekly has to say:

Crime fiction hasn't seen a character as scrappy, mean, and incredibly appealing as Stella in a long time. A- (although what that dash after the A means, I don't have a clue; because BDFS is clearly an A+)

It was either an octopus on a stick or...

finding someone willing to stand in the train station holding a red balloon.

Fortunately, I have just such a willing boon companion





Are you wondering WHY we'd need this attention grabbing image at Penn Station? (Many people did!)

When a group of people need to meet in a crowded place, it's either an octopus on a stick OR a big ol' red balloon and Barbara Poelle to hold it high!