Follow ups to yesterday's questions

The comment section brought up some good questions on Monday's and yesterday's posts

Laura Mary

I have a question prompted by Monday’s post where you complained about people not sending pages…
So agents like to keep us on our toes, some like a synopsis, some like a query, some like a belly rub, some are strictly scratch behind the ears only. Some ask for pages, some don’t…
Would it be a really bad idea to just always send pages? If you’re sending 100% of the correct information asked for, is it a terrible, terrible thing to send extra? Are you saving time if they want to read more, or are you showing that you can’t follow rules and shooting yourself in the foot?
Now that I’ve written this out, I suspect there is no real answer, it will just depend on the agent, and how good or bad a day they’re having!

You're right. It's impossible to know the answer. I think agents who discard queries that don't follow guidelines to the nth degree are missing some good stuff, but I throw out stuff that has a synopsis rather than pages, so there's that.

I think pages are always a good idea, but some agents are hugely prickly about sending only what is asked for.

If an agent doesn't ask for pages, and you just have to send pages, at the very least, put them at the BOTTOM of the email. And leave out "I know you didn't ask for it but here are pages" cause that just alerts me to the fact you KNOW what I want and don't care.

If someone is sending me a synopsis (which I don't ask for) and it's the first thing I see after the query, well, sayonara baby, it's a pass.

If someone sends me a synopsis AFTER the pages, I don't read it, but I do read the pages.

There are ways to break the rules without shooting yourself in the foot.

Theresa

As for #2: Wow! Why would anyone ever, ever comment on someone's photo? As a lady person, this would cause me to press to reject button, no matter how excellent the query.

You are so so right. When this query got passed around, you could hear the ice forming on keyboards and strangled yelps of outrage.

My best guess is this query writer thought he (of course it was a he) was being folksy and charming. What lady doesn't like being told she's attractive? In other words, he's tone-deaf, and clueless. Just exactly what I'm NOT looking for in an author (or anyone actually.)  If you are a gentleman and worried about sounding clueless and tone-deaf, you're probably fine. The C and TD are noted for being oblivious, not worried.


Susan

When writing the story portion of the query letter, is it wrong to treat it as if you're writing a back-of-book blurb in that you want to entice the agent the same as if you'd want to entice the reader? Or are there more elements to consider in the query (not including the word count, comps, and bio)?

The reason I don't say "use the back of a book cover, or flap copy,  as a model" is that often they  sound like reviews.

Example:
This is Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin

 Notice the "transport you" and "one of the most beautiful and extraordinary stories of American literature." Neither of those are things you want to include in a query.

Example:
This is Jilo by JD Horn

Everything's jake until that last paragraph.


Both examples are very well-written jacket copy.
They're just not the best thing to say in a query.



Mark Ellis

If your novel is high-concept, is having the query/pitch/idea on public display problematic? 

No.
You have seen it for yourself here on the blog: five prompt words and not a single story is duplicated.
Authors worry about this a lot because they think it's the concept that sells the book.
It's the concept that gets me to READ the book.
How you develop that concept, write your characters, get plot on the page, surprise me: that's how I sell the book.

I could hold a flash fiction contest with a very good high concept idea, and I'll bet you painting my apartment for me that no two entries would be similar enough to look plagiarized.

For the love of all things holymoly, please send me what I ask for

I'm on the hunt for good material, so I'm in my queries regularly, and requesting a lot more material than usual.

This is really good news for you since projects I might have previoiusly passed on at the query stage are now getting a longer look.

Some of you are shooting yourselves in the foot with an elephant gun. Stop it.

Here's what you're doing.

You've got an ok or so-so query. It's not bad, but it's not grip-the-lapels compelling. I think "hmmm, let me check the pages. And you don't have them, or you included a synopsis, or worse a brief synopsis.

It's 7am when I'm reading your query. I've got another 20 to go. I'm just as likely to hit the pass button as dig around for the pages.


There's a reason I ask for pages and ONLY pages. I want to see how the story starts. I want to see what the story IS. I want to hear the voice that's in the story.

A synopsis is by definition pretty dull. It's about the elements of the book, rather than the narrative. It doesn't have much voice. It's certainly NOT what I'd give someone to entice them to read the book (after all, that is exactly what a query is supposed to do.)

When an agent asks for pages include them. It's not a trick, it's not intended to see if you can follow directions, it's not a test. It's the only way I can see what your damn book is going to be.

If an agent wants a synopsis send that. Not all agents want the same thing. Sorry about that, I know it's a pain in the ass, but it's just one of those things you have to deal with.




PS: If any of you clever readers out there want to check my website/s or other online sources that reference my submission guidelines and verify that I ask for 3-5 pages in the body of the email, please go ahead.  If it's not clear I'd like to know, and a second hundred set of eyeballs on something seems like a good idea.

Can I demand accessibility?

Equal accessibility is important to me, so I would want my book available in large print, braille, and/or audio-book formats, so it would be accessible to people w/ poor or no vision or w/ other conditions that would limit their ability to read a standard-printed book .

I know these formats can be expensive, and certainly many books are unavailable any of these ways. My question is, considering that this would be my first published book, and that I therefore have no clout at all, can I actually make this demand? Or would the publisher simply skip me for someone whose first book would be much cheaper to publish?

Should I mention I'd be willing to compromise elsewhere as needed, such as a smaller advance or giving up other rights, to make this happen?

And at what point in the query process do I tell my would-be agent how important this is to me?

The author is the seller of rights, and the publishers who acquire audio/large print rights etc. are the buyers. You can't actually force someone to buy something, (Oh how I wish you could!) even if you reduce the price to zero (your reference to smaller advance/other rights.)

Audio is the most likely subsidiary right to be licensed. Often the print publisher will acquire audio rights as part of their initial deal. If they do not, your agent can pitch them to an audio publisher. Whether an audio publisher is interested is entirely up to them. Even if it's hugely important to the author.

Large print rights are much more difficult to license. Large print publishers usually seek titles that are best sellers, and from established brand name authors. Large print rights are also often acquired by the publisher making the initial print deal. Of all the books I've sold, fewer than 10% have been licensed to large print publishers either thorough the initial print publisher or in a direct deal.

As for Braille, those rights are also addressed in the print contract. Most often they are made available at no charge to publishers who want them. It's a pretty standard clause.

That said, I've never seen a Braille book. But then again, maybe I'm just not looking in the right place.

I commend your enthusiasm for making your book available to people with reading challenges. It contrasts quite favorably to the fellow who was peeved that Braille rights were being given away. ("I wrote it why shouldn't I get paid" was his position. He did not sign the contract and I was happy to sever my relationship with him--for that and MANY other reasons)

But, as with many parts of the publishing process, whether your book will be available in these formats is almost entirely out of your control. You can certainly mention it to your agent but under ZERO circumstances will you make this a deal breaker.

And I should remind you that many people use electronic books, which can alter the font size, in lieu of buying or borrowing (from the library) large print books.  Most publishers will produce an ebook simultaneously with print, so your desire to be accessible can be met that way.

Rant: Dear Ms. Reid

Ms,Mrs, Miss Reid, (Trying to stay politically correct),

No you're not.
You're being sarcastic about the use of Ms.

When people trot out "I'm trying to be politically correct" the subtext is you people who want to define yourselves, rather than be defined by others, are just too cute, and don't need to be taken seriously by the rest of us.

Maybe the very idea of "Ms" offends you; you think it's bizarre or wrong or something other than "the real world, deal with it like a human being."  Fine. Think that. Rant about it on your blog. Holler it to the stars if you so desire.

But do not make the mistake of assuming everyone agrees with you. Or that I agree with you. 

I don't care what you think; I care how you behave.

Now I can hear the prickly pears amongst you saying "jeeze Sharkly it's just a damn salutation" and you're perfectly correct. BUT it tells me something about you. Something I don't much like. And it's a HUGE red flag for a potential client, who in the course of what I would hope will be a long and prosperous career, will need to interact politely with all sorts of people, some of whom might prefer Ms. Or be gender fluid. Or transitioning genders. And I need to have confidence that you're not going to just bulldoze your way through those interactions with "well, you look like girl, why is your name Homer?"


Bottom line: I am very happy to coach you on the arcane practices of the publishing world, but you have to come fully actualized on basic etiquette.

Cold requerying

After finishing a 91k word crime novel I was so excited that I couldn’t wait to hit “send.” And of course the first five queries were quickly rejected, as were the second batch of five, and the third and fourth. After licking my rejection wounds, I evaluated my ms and query, read a couple of great books about the “first pages hook” thing, and "starting your book in the right place." I revised the ms accordingly, polished it, revised the query and hit “send’ on another batch of five. I was elated to get two requests for partials and one for the entire ms! Hey, maybe I was getting somewhere with my dream!

One of the partial requests was from a big name agent with years of churning out ‘Big” books. The response was a rejection with detailed feedback and praise, but no request to R&R. The full is still out there with another partial.

My question is: should I resubmit to the Big Name agent after revising? Or am I wasting his time, and mine? And why would someone as busy as this man give such a detailed revision request just to reject it?

Generally speaking, you don't requery for the same manuscript unless asked to do so by the agent.

On the other hand, what's the worst that could happen if you do?  Well, ok, you could get eaten by sharks, consigned to Carkoon, subtweeted by Agent SnootyPants.  Last I looked none of those were actually fatal. Not even metaphorically fatal.

And what you need to succeed in this business is to be bold. In fact, it's one of the Rules for Writers.

So, here's what you'll do. You make sure that revised manuscript is polished till it gleams. No typos. No missing words (that's a big one). No homonyms. The standard for revised mss is even higher than requested-only-once mss.

Then you query Agent Big Name and say "your advice on revising the manuscript was invaluable, and I followed it. May I send you the revised version for consideration?"

You might hear no. You might hear nothing. No harm, no foul.
But you might hear yes.

Trying and failing is better than not trying at all.

And remember, agents are on the hunt for good work. If you've got it, I want to see it.

Some reasons you heard no

1. You queried a novel that is the second in a series, and you self-pubbed the first. It's almost impossible to sell a second novel in a series even if the first one was published by a major house.  And self-pubbed is almost always a non-starter cause of the sales figures. Publishers just aren't interested in a book that sold 600 copies, unless it won some sort of prestigious award, or got optioned for a movie, or some other reason that persuades them more copies will fly off the shelves.

How you will avoid this: write something new, or treat book two as the first in the series. It will also help if you remove it from Amazon before querying.

2. Your memoir is a retelling of Eat Pray Love.  You even use it as a comp.
How you will avoid this: If you want to write this kind of memoir, you're going to need to talk about it in a way that makes me think you've got something new to say. And "new to say" doesn't mean "it's about ME, not someone else."

3. The title indicates your values are so out of sync with mine that I don't even read the query. (Example: Only Sluts Get Abortions; Gays are Evil; Immigrants are Terrorists) I respond poorly to these kinds of hot-button-pushing projects in general.

How you will avoid this: if you want to write a book that takes a position on a issue, frame your argument in something less incendiary than good versus evil. And remember that most people won 't shell out money for a book if the title just makes them mad.

4. You self pubbed the book you're querying me for.  Other agents consider them. I don't.
How you'll avoid this: Either don't self-publish, or just leave me off your query list. 

5. Ho-hum. The plot of the book is so run of the mill that even good writing can't save it.
How you will avoid this: know your category. If you don't know what's already been done, and done to death, it's hard to know what's fresh and new.


6. You describe how characters look but not how they are. I'm less interested in eye color than I am in moral compass. One is filler. The other isn't. If you don't know which is which, stop querying.

How you will avoid this: learn to read your own work with a critical eye. Make a list of the adjectives and adverbs you use to develop character. If they're all external (big, strong, tall, glamourous, sexy) or patronizing (spunky, feisty, Mr. Mom) you've got a problem.

Any questions?

My freelance editor wants to send my ms to contacts at publishers

A funny thing happened on the way home from the edit.

I have novel that I swear is the best novel I can make it without another set of eyes. And I swear I’m not a completely terrible writer, despite my use of the preceding adverb. Except for commas. I suck at commas.

So, with a year of querying behind me (part of the 100 club), those last ten fulls out there, and me ready to move on to a new project, I decided to find an editor, because I didn’t get it—everyone who read the book liked it and many agents who did request and said no wanted to see everything I wrote next, so I figured there had to be something wrong with THIS book.

I went on Reedsy and found a former acquisitions editor for one of the Big 5 imprints now freelancing. Good, someone who could tell me what was wrong. He had some good ideas that we discussed, and he was excited for me to query this book until I told him I was pretty much queried out.

Maybe I had a terrible query. Maybe it was the 1st person thing. I also made edits whenever I got useful feedback, so maybe that was part of it too. Who knows? But when I told him this—that my point in hiring him was to learn from this book if I could and to grow as a writer, his response was that the things to fix were minor, and that he still had friends at the Big 5 and would be happy to send them my work as a referral.

I checked and his background is legitimate. He also did not ask for anything, money or otherwise. I have another WIP, but it’s 4-6 months away from querying.

(1) Should I consider accepting this referral?
(2) Do agents know something he doesn’t?
(3) Am I disadvantaging myself?
(4) If someone offers, should I try to get an agent?

I know agents know many things I don’t with regards to contracts etc., but what’s the procedure for trying to find an agent after a publisher offers if you answer yes to questions 1&4 and lightning strikes (or I get bitten by a shark of the publishing variety)?


I am happy I do math for a living. Publishing is crazy. :) 

(1) Sure, why not. No one will die if you do.**
(2) Yes
(3) No**
(4) YES


You didn't ask him the defining question: if he'd gotten this ms while he was an aquiring editor, would he/could he have bought it? The god's honest truth is a lot of good work doesn't get published.  That happens for a lot of reasons, none of which you have control over.

And that's what agents know that editors don't. We see many more manuscripts than editors do. I can hear my editor friends screaming disbelief, while pointing at their overflowing inboxes.  As proof let me tell you that an editor recently mentioned she had 30 manuscripts in her inbox from agents.  I have triple that in queries on a weekly basis.


And if he sends the ms to friends at publishers, remember, that means the ms has been submitted. If they say no, that's a no for the imprint, if not the entire publisher.  Since you're at the END of your querying process for this book, the risk is low. If you were just at the start of the querying process, I would throw myself in front of your keyboard to prevent you from doing that. (notice the *** after questions 1 and 3. That means this answer is NOT one-size-fits-all.)

And if an offer results from this, email the agents who read your full with this subject line: OFFER from PUBLISHER on TITLE.

If you don't get any bites, let me know and I'll help you find a publishing contract specialist who (for an hourly fee) will review your contract and keep you out of hot water.

Yes, publishing is crazy.
And the people who work in it, including writers, are crazy too.
You have to be; it's an actual job requirement.

Twitter pitching

I don't participate in the manuscript cattle calls that happen on Twitter, so I hadn't heard about this problem until a colleague mentioned it.

Writer A, in whom she was interested, had participated in one of the many Twitter #Pitch events, gotten some bites from editors, and then sent the manuscript being considered by my colleague to the editors.

All of us at the bar listening to this groaned simultaneously.

Once you've sent your manuscript to an editor, that's mostly game, set, match for the editor and the publisher.

In other words, you may pick the wrong editor to send to (cause you have no way of knowing) and instead of getting interest or an offer from the right editor, you get a pass from the wrong editor.

If you send the entire manuscript that needs work, instead of a strategic submission of a partial 100 pages, you get a pass from an editor who sees only the problems, not an offer from the editor who sees possibilities.

In other words, the reason you query agents first, is our job is to strategize submissions, not just shotgun the manuscript all over town.

I understand how enticing it can be to get interest in your work is, particularly if you've been laboring on it for years, alone in your attic.

Don't shoot yourself in the foot by jumping the gun.

Always always always query agents first: at conferences, and now with #PitchFests.

She said no before but now said yes in a Twitter pitch fest

I participated in a twitter pitch event today to find new agents to submit to and received a request to send a query from an agent who looks like a good match.

The problem is, I submitted a query for this project to her about nine months ago and received a form rejection.

I am not sure if I should submit again.

On the one hand, as I've learned from your blog, there are many reasons an agent may pass on a project, such as workload or having something too similar to it out for submission right then. It's possible the agent saw my pitch, thought it was cool, and wants to learn more about it, having forgotten seeing it last year.

On the other, it's possible she just didn't enjoy my thing the first time around, and resubmitting it to her will make me appear foolish, as though I don't pay attention to who I submit to (I have a spreadsheet and everything) and get me blacklisted by her, others at the agency, and will become a funny story she tells to other agents leading to further difficulties finding representation down the line.

should I:
1) resubmit my query et all again as though it's the first time
2) resubmit my query again and say "I'm glad you're interested in my project, I remember submitting to you last year"
3) some third thing 

The answer is Door #3.
You say "I'm querying based on your interest from the Twitter Shark Infested Waters call for Queries on (date)."

You put that at the TOP of the query. (You might even have something in the subject line if so instructed by agent)

Then you have your query.

THEN at the bottom you write, "I want to be upfront that I queried previously with this project on (date.)"

If you have revised the query or the book since then, you add "the query/book has undergone revision since then."

If you have not, just don't say anything.

Do NOT write "and you rejected me"
You don't need to state the obvious.
You do NOT need to put the word rejection in your query.

If she passes this time, well, that's her loss. You've been upfront, and you've given her two bites at the apple.


As to this paragraph:

On the other, it's possible she just didn't enjoy my thing the first time around, and resubmitting it to her will make me appear foolish, as though I don't pay attention to who I submit to (I have a spreadsheet and everything) and get me blacklisted by her, others at the agency, and will become a funny story she tells to other agents leading to further difficulties finding representation down the line. 

That's just not going to happen. People double query often enough that I don't even notice much any more, and it's not really crazy enough to merit making up a good story. The only people I blacklist are the ones who are incredibly rude after a series of interactions (ie you can't get blacklisted by just querying twice unless you actually TRY.)

And the funny stories I tell other agents are hardly ever about writers. They're always about other agents.

Well, maybe not epic, but....

If an agent who gives editorial feedback offers representation, is it appropriate (as part of the pre-acceptance process) to ask them to pick a section of the ms they think needs work and give editorial remarks? That is, in addition to discussing their vision for the ms in a general way, which I seem to recall you saying a writer should expect. The purpose being to see what it would be like to work with them on that level. If that's okay, rather than epic ass-hattery, what size section would be appropriate and not an imposition?

uhh...no.

No.

No.

No.

An agent is not auditioning for the lead in Editor On the Roof.

Either she's already given you notes;  she thinks chapter seven is fine; OR you're going to get notes and see what she thinks. It's entirely acceptable to ask "do you think the manuscript needs work; if so, what kind, how much etc." You can even ask "do you think chapter seven needs work?"

BUT saying "can you give me edit notes on chapter seven before I decide to say yes or no to your offer of representation" is not something you want to do.

Presumably by the time you've gotten to this point with an agent you know something about how she works. For example, you might have asked her clients if she gives notes to them, how fast that happens, how useful they are, and so on.

You might have read her blog to see if she can string words together herself.

You might have actually done a round of revisions with her before the offer was made.

But asking someone to give notes as part of the offer fails to recognize that until she sells something, she's got no income from you. In other words, you're asking for a favor. You'll want to be judicious in those asks.

You can get this information, or enough of it to be useful for your decision, without asking her to do more work than she has offered up voluntarily.

I'm glad you asked this question because it is one that would make me reconsider taking someone on, and I'd hate to see that happen if the writer just didn't know how it would be perceived on this end.

Book covers

One of our dear blog readers recently had her cover reveal for her upcoming book (it is really beautiful, seems to capture her story, and I love it). It made me think, though: covers are SO important. An embarrassing fact is that, way back when, I picked up the first Twilight book not because I'd heard about it but because of its intriguing cover. (There are actually a lot of embarrassing things about that sentence actually... moving along).

I DO judge a book based on its cover. I've heard other readers say the same thing on reviews (spanning genres). About a third of the books in B&N make me think, oof. Not something I'd want for mine, for sure.

I realize if you are commercial publishing, you ARE giving up some of these powers, I just don't know how much.

How much say does an author have on their cover? Can they give ideas to an artist or is this laughable and insulting to even think of such a thing? And then, is it ever appropriate to bring up the 'cover' issue when you are talking to a potential agent, esp. if all agents are different on these matters? I don't want to ever come across as insinuating that they (agent or artist) don't know how to do their job. But although a cover may seem like a ridiculous detail, it is so important to me.

The Twilight book cover is compelling, yes indeed.


Book covers are NOT something you talk about with an agent before signing unless you want to set yourself up for failure. If a potential client yakked on about how important "the right" cover was, I'd think not once, not twice, but three times about signing them.

I understand how much you care about your book, and how much you want it to have a good cover. I want that too. When you start talking about that before the manuscript is finished, before the book is on submission, before the book is sold, before the editor has done her edits, before the first marketing and publicity memos have been written, then what I hear is that you're obsessing about things before their time, and you're going to require a lot of education and handholding.

While this is not an asshat indicator, it's troubling. I prefer to work with clients who tackle the problems in front of them first and rely on their agent to advocate for them. Rest assured, I'm not going to say "make sure you put a godawful cover on that book."



More generally: Book covers are ENTIRELY the purview of the publisher. Most of my publishing contracts have cover clauses requiring "meaningful consultation" to "mutual agreement" but you'll notice that doesn't include "approval."

I'm sure if you sell eight gazillion copies a year you'd get cover approval if you want it but if you're selling eight gazillion copies a year, you've probably got a pretty good cover artist already.

Also: most authors have no clue what makes a good book cover. It's not just a pretty photo.

And forgive me for this skepticism: most authors who have strong ideas about what a book cover should look like also have no aesthetic taste whatsoever. To support this dire opinion just take a look at most of the self-published books you see.

While it's entirely true that some book covers from trade publishers are horrendous (and yes, I've had a few of those) generally you wait to see what you get before you start talking about what you want.

We all know book covers are important, crucial in fact.

But a smart author will know when to talk about that, and when to zip their lip.

Here's a terrific interview with a brilliant cover designer Chip Kidd.

(When I am Queen of the Known Universe and Absolute Monarch of All She Surveys, every contract I negotiate will mandate  Chip Kidd as the cover designer.)

What you say/what I hear (aka NOT the contest results)

What you say: "I am a published author" (but don't list the publisher or title)
What I hear: "I am a self-published author"
What I do: look for your name on Amazon

Your takeaway from this: tell me who published your book. Self-publishing isn't a crime. Don't hide it.


What you say: "I am a published author" with title and publisher
What I hear: "I'm dumping the agent who got me that deal"
What I do: search out the name of your previous agent

Your takeaway from this: if you're parting with your agent, just say so. 


What you say: This novel has elements of sci-fi/thriller/YA/romance
What I hear: "My novel will appeal to EVERYBODY!"
What I do: skim the first page to verify you don't know what you're writing.

Your take away from this: Your book will not appeal to everyone. Get over it. Pick one category.


What you say: "my main character is besotted/beguiled/helped/whatever by a gorgeous woman who is a secret nudist/stripper/former stripper/prostitute/former prostitute/schoolmarm by day-high end call girl by night."
What I hear: "female characters in this book are caricatures and described only in sexual terms."
What I do: Try very hard not to respond with "are you fucking kidding me, this is 2016, get a clue" by hitting the rejection key very very quickly.

Your take away: all characters should be three dimensional. Describing a man only in terms of his sexuality is just as loathsome as doing that to a woman. 


What you say: "I am resubmitting my query."
What I hear: "I don't understand what a form rejection is"
What I do: Look up your previous query and my reply. If my reply is anything but a specific instruction to requery, I will reply it's still a pass. In other words, I don't read it again.

Your take away: if I want to hear from you again, I'll say so. Requerying after a form rejection is generally a waste of your time, and unless you have unlimited time, you might want to spend it doing things that will help you move forward, not repeating things that have already proven fruitless.


What you say: "There are no books on this topic"
What I hear: "I couldn't find any books on this topic"
What I do: Search Amazon. If I find books on the topic, I almost always send a form rejection. This is just sloppy research and wishful thinking. I can live with wishful thinking,  but I don't want to work with writers who are sloppy. Mistakes are one thing (god knows I've made my share and more) but making a mistake on "books like this" means missing one or two, not ALL of them.

Your take away: Look till you find a book in your category. Even if you are writing about something  fresh and new (discovery of alien life forms on Mars for real) you need to know what the other books about Mars are about. There's always a book. Don't fall in to the trap of thinking you've invented something new. If you can't find it, ask your librarian for help. If you don't have a librarian, you haven't read enough books to even think about writing one, let alone querying.


What you say: "I'm querying you because you represent [an author I do not rep]
What I hear: "I am doing cursory research cause I read that you have to personalize and it's a total waste of time."

What I do: write back to tell you I don't represent that author. And then discard the query.  I don't want to work with someone whose idea of research is reading only the headlines on a google search.

I agree that personalization is a terrible waste of your time. How about we solve that by just not doing it? I don't care if you've EVER read a client's book**, or know what I sell. I'm interested in what you write. Tell me about that. Leave all that other ego stroking crap to the insecure agents who need to be flattered.  stuff for the other agents.





**ok, that's a lie. I think everyone querying me should read my entire list but that's not cause it improves your query it's cause it improve my clients' sales figures.  Fortunately I am not yet QOTKU so your wallet is not in danger.....YET.

Querying when you might be unreachable

I have an international move coming up but my book's just about ready to query. Knowing that it can take weeks for a response, my instinct is to send the first queries out when they're ready. But, do I mention that between certain dates I may not have internet access and thus would not be able to respond ASAP? How about if I'm not certain of the dates yet, the move being contingent on selling a house? I don't want to chance a bad impression by starting out with a delayed response. Would this be seen as presumptive? Insulting if the date is too far out? Or is it best not to mention it and just keep my devices as hooked up and charged as possible? Or wait til I'm settled before I query?

Don't query before you're in a position to reply in a timely manner.

That said, it seems foolish to wait to query when it's very likely true that there will be a lag time in replies.

I would suggest querying from a NEW email address that you set up just for queries, and ask someone to monitor it for you if/when you're out of wi-fi range.

That person can have a copy of the novel and send it as requested on your behalf. And if the agent asks something, your Designated Sender can reply that you're:

1. sailing the seven seas
2. digging out of prison
3. scouting locations in Canada for the horde of Americans contemplating a four-year sojourn there and will reply when you've resurfaced.

You probably don't want to saddle someone with your working email account (hell, I'd be leery of doing that to anyone even if I paid them a princely sum) but a dedicated email probably won't be too much trouble.

This way too, you're not sending things like "I'll be out of pocket for six weeks...I think" which is not something I want to see in a query letter.

Angelina Jolie is making a movie that my book could be about!

I queried about thirty agents last winter (2015) with my first ms, a thriller about Cambodia/Khmer Rouge. Save one partial request, all flat-out rejections.  I self-published at the same time as querying. (1)

This year, Angelina Jolie is releasing a film about the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, through an adaptation of the memoir 'First They Killed My Father' by Loung Ung. Film will be released on Netflix. Good or bad, everything Angelina does gets press.

(A celebrity is releasing a film this year about the obscure topic that will bring it more to public awareness...)

There is almost no current fiction about Cambodia. If the movie does well, I think it will help my book. (2)

Question is:  Should I re-query all the same agents as I did last year, highlighting this upcoming movie? (3)

Or query only new-to-me agents (4)
Or does it seem like a complete non-event and move on? (5)
Or a wait and see how movie does?  (6)

And should I unself-publish first?  (7)

I feel like I am sitting on an opportunity now that before was a 'No One else Cares'.

Thanks for the blog, wish had found it earlier. (8)

(1) If you self-published at the same time you queried, you seriously misunderstand the purpose of both self-publishing and querying. I don't take on books that are already published. Agents who do look for strong sales. If you've just published, unless there was a tsunami of sales on Day One, even agents who take on self-pubbed books won't be interested.

(2) Go to Amazon, type in the search term "novels about Cambodia."  I came up with six.  When you look on GoodReads, there are more. When I see this kind of statement in a query, and my very cursory research doesn't support your statement, I'm hugely dissuaded from considering your work further. You're much better off emphasizing how your novel is DIFFERENT from the other novels out there. You don't have to be only, you just have to be new and fresh.

(3) No. Publishing works on a long lead time. Right now, I'm selling books in to Fall 2017 catalog and Winter 2018 lists. You've missed the window completely for Fall 2016.

(4) Sure, if you want to.

(5) The success or failure of Angelina Jolie's movie will have almost zero impact on whether someone wants to read your book UNLESS Angelina Jolie's movie is based on your book.

(6) See #5

(7) There is no such thing as unpublishing. You've published the book. It's got an ISBN number and if you were smart, a copyright registration. Those things do not go away even if the book isn't available for sale.

(8) Me too, if only to have spared you what seems like a lot of work for no reward.




As a general rule, a movie based on a book is good news for that particular book, but it doesn't help books in the entire category. One of the (many) reasons for this is that the movie is based on a book that was published several (if not more) years ago. That means that publishers wanting to ride the wave of any renewed interest in this topic are going to look at their backlist (previously published books) FIRST, not try to acquire something to publish now. Reprinting a book can be done in weeks. Publishing a novel takes MONTHS if not a year or more.

Bottom line: query new agents if your book is selling well. If it's not, be prepared for a vast swath of silence.

If your book is not selling well, at the risk of sounding cavalier about the challenges of writing: write another book and start the query process anew. OR invest in making the self-published book a success.

Some questions you shouldn't ask

Recently we talked about questions you should ask an agent before signing, and questions an agent might ask of you before signing.

In a lovely example of cosmic irony,  I have some recent emails with examples of questions you really shouldn't ask, particularly at the query stage:


1. Please let me know what you charge.
If you don't know the standard commission rates for a literary agent, you're too green to be querying.

2. Why should I hire a literary agent?
For starters, you don't hire me, you retain my services, and if you don't know the difference, the NYS Department of Labor does. If you want to hire me, feel free to offer a starting salary. You can see how I negotiate first hand!

3. What can you do for me?
I'm not going to pitch you. I'll discuss your book, answer your questions, tell you how I operate, and why I think I'm a good agent, and let you decide if you want to move forward, but that's it. Some of this is ego of course but I don't want a client who isn't eager to BE a client.

4. I have no idea how to do this, so could you help me?
No.
I'm really ok with how brusque or rude that sounds because I no longer care about offending people who don't or can't grasp that I am not the public library information desk.  It's really easy to get caught in the trap of not wanting to offend people such that you end up spending valuable time doing things that do not earn money or move your agenda forward (my agenda is world domination of course.)

And if you think "oh but it could earn money" let me just say this: so can the six other projects I have right now.  Given there are MORE salable projects than I have room to take on, my FIRST selection criteria is "has the writer prepared for this new career?"

And by prepared I don't mean you know everything about publishing, because none of us do. But you know the basic terminology, you know the difference between trade publishing and self-publishing.  You know what an agent's commission is. You've been in a bookstore; you have been in a library.

Think of it this way: if you want to dance with the Rockettes (and who wouldn't!) you don't show up at auditions asking how to do a high kick. Yes, the choreographer will teach you the steps but when she says "stage left" and "step, ball change" you know what she means.

Or: when Vince Papale went to walk-on tryouts for the Phildelphia Eagles, they gave him a playbook yes, but he already knew the rules of the game.

And I can hear all you woodland creatures, particularly new ones and lurkers, having a blistering moment of panic that You Are Not Prepared. Well, rest easy. If you're reading this blog, and generally following the guidelines set down here, you're going to be just fine. No question about it.

1964 Rockettes at the Macys Parade!

Now that I have your attention

My queries piled up in the last few weeks so I spent an hour reading them last Friday morning. (Two requested fulls out of fifty or so, for those of you torturing yourselves with stats.)

All too frequently I'd get a reply along the lines of "well, if you didn't want that, how about this."

And of course, what followed wasn't a real query. Sometimes it was just a line or two with pages included, or maybe just a paragraph.

I can't tell you how annoying that is. Maybe this will help.

Just because I'm replying to a query does not mean you get to avoid actually writing the next one.

You write a real query every SINGLE time you want me to consider reading a project.

No half-baked, after thought, second hand prose. NO NO NO.

Here's why:

My answer is always no.

First, I've just told you no so I remember that. You want to give yourself some time here so when I get the query for that next book, my first thought isn't "oh yea, that's the guy I just said no to."

Second, if you reply to a query you've got the wrong subject line most often. And you've got RE: whatever that wrong subject line is. I think I've got a reply, not a query. Which means I'm skimming at BEST and tossing in the trash unread at worst.

Third, it's ineffective. I'm not MORE likely to consider your work at this moment. I'm less. That's NOT something you want.

A real query every single time, no matter what. No exceptions. NONE.

Unfortunate first impressions

Referrals can be a good way to warm up the otherwise-arctic query process. Good referrals are a recommendation to an agent from someone the agent knows. Really good referrals are when that someone has read your book, likes it and says so.

I pay very close attention to these kinds of referrals; when they come from my clients, I act on them immediately.

By act immediately I mean I google the author being referred.

Recently, one of my clients gave me the name of an author who was looking for an agent. The author was talking to friends, getting names. My client sent me a heads up that she's read the author's book, liked it, and had passed my name along to the author.

When I got my client's email, I immediately googled the author. Her website was the first item on the google results list so I clicked on it. (The other options were Amazon, Goodreads, Facebook, her publisher's site, Twitter, and then some book reviews.)

The website was a disaster of epic proportion.

Not least among the problems was that her website allows comments on her pages, and her comment column was filled with spam. (Remember discussing using blogs as websites?)

This is a TERRIBLE first impression.

If you're querying, you want to make sure your website or blog is spiffy.

Now, I can hear some of you plaintively asking why? why? It has nothing to do with the writing!
That's very true. It has nothing to do with the writing.
It has an ENORMOUS amount to do with the my impression of how much coaching you'll need on what are now the fundamentals of Being a Published Writer.

When you're a published writer, your competition is no longer the slapdash, the ignoramus, or the wretchedly bad writer. It's GOOD writers. It's PUBLISHED (or about to be published) writers. You're no longer competing for agents. You're competing for readers.

And if you think agents are tough to please, wait till you meet real readers in the trenches of the Amazon reviews. Or on your blog.

Or worse: not at all.

You want a website that gives readers value for their eyeball time. They're looking for info on your books, probably some info about you, and often a way to contact you. What they're not looking for (at least on your site) are cheap term papers or scented dog poop bags or ways to attract a man.

And yes, I help my clients with that stuff. So yes, I'm much MUCH more interested in someone who's at least on the ball enough to watch their blog for spam.

If you're at this stage of querying, google yourself to find out what I'll see first. Then make sure what I can see looks polished. At the very least clean up the spam! And have you checked your Goodreads page lately? What impression will I get there?

You'll notice all this happened BEFORE I knew anything about her writing or had even gotten a query from the author. In other words, this is something to take care of EARLY rather than waiting till you think you need it.

This kind of googling tells me how to prioritize this referral and subsequent query. If I'd seen something less daunting, I might have reached out to the author. As it is I'll wait for the query, and it's not going to be one of those I drop everything to read.

Any questions?

Wait, what?

The assistant for a very good, old school New York agent requested a partial of my thriller, then requested the full. Two weeks later, the assistant wrote back to tell me that she hadn’t read the full herself, but she’d given it to her intern, who had written up an extensive report about it, and the assistant was giving me an R&R.

The problem is that the intern’s comments, criticisms, and suggestions were largely off-base (sometimes painfully so), showed a real lack of insight into my novel, and betrayed a palpable inexperience about people and the world at large.

So, I’m in a bind. It would be a dream to sign with this agent, but I can’t revise according to the intern’s comments, because they would wreck my novel. Should I let the assistant know about the intern’s mistakes and hope she’ll be sympathetic? Should I just chalk the whole thing up to experience and move on? Or is there a third option?

Thanks very much.

  

The third option is to simply say you don't agree with the intern's assessment and suggestions for revisions. If you can use some examples of the painfully off-base criticisms, put those in your reply. Of course you'll leave out any kind of comment on the intern's state of mind, experience etc. You'll keep it solely about the work.  Leave it in the assistant agent's hands about what to do next.

Be prepared for the assistant to say sayonara. 

Meanwhile you KEEP QUERYING.


You don't say how much time has elapsed between getting this intern critique and writing to me. Before responding to the critique, you'll want to make sure you've given it at least a week. I can always tell when someone is replying in the heat of outraged rejection and inevitably, they have a more temperate reply a week later. 

And make sure you're not shouting "off my lawn, whippersnapper" before you reply. Sometimes those inexperienced babes in the woods see things that us more seasoned folk have long since stopped noticing.

Ten Red Flags in ANY Query

1. The first sentence has more than 25 words.

2. The first sentence has more than two clauses.

3. The author refers to himself/herself by name (rather than "I")

4. The bio section refers to a recent retirement that now allows time to write.

5. The phrase "film potential" is present.

6. The words "beta readers" are present.

7. The words "why this book will be successful" appear in the query

8. The phrase "my name is"** appears

9. Love for the written word is professed.

10. Instructions for pronounciation of any name is included.



Any questions?

**and is  not followed by "Inigo Montoya"

Query pitfall: I know what that means, thanks

Recently, I've  received several queries that "helpfully" define words for me.

This is a bad tactic.

Don't employ it.

If you use a word I don't understand, I'll look it up.  I like meeting new words. I particularly like meeting new words that light up a sentence.

Two recent examples:

Lexan: bulletproof glass

bycatch: what's caught in a fishing net that's not being fished for

Some of my clients are so deft with words that even when I think they've made a mistake, I look it up before slashing with my red pen.

And I love made up words too.  If I look a word up, and it's not there, I go back to the sentence to see if I can make sense of it from context.

Telling me what a word means (particularly a plain old ordinary word that's already in my word hoard) does two things:

1. it annoys me because it insults my intelligence.  You think I don't know that word? Here let me bop you on the head with my annotated edition of Ulysses.

2. it takes up valuable real estate in your query letter. You have 250 words max. You spend 10 of them telling me something obvious, and you're wasting resources.

Other things that waste query space:
1. Telling me your title is a "working title" and listing other choices. I don't care. Call it anything up to and including "My next bestseller" and if it sounds enticing, I'll read it.

2. Telling me your elaborate plans to promote the novel. I assume anyone will be willing to promote their book, but we'll have that conversation at a later date.

3. Telling me your critique group/beta readers/paid editor love the book. That's all well and good, but I don't care. My opinion is the only one that matters.  If I don't like it, God Herself could have a different opinion and I still wouldn't take it on.

A good query is very simple. That means it's Very Hard to Write. Part of getting to simple is learning what to leave out. Definitions are on the list. Know what I mean?