More on requested revisions

I entered a twitter pitch contest last month that resulted in three agents asking for my full. I was blown away by the response, but I sent my book baby away with a quick prayer and settled in to wait. And then a few days ago...an agent contacted me to schedule a phone call to discuss an R&R.

I am over the moon with happiness. I am also on hamster wheel overdrive. After panicking for a few days, I calmed down and looked up info about R&R's. I feel a tad bit better, but I have a few questions I can't find the answer to. Should I offer the agent an exclusive while I work on revisions? (1) I know your policy on exclusives, but this feels a little different...she's taking time to work with me one on one, so I'm not sure if I should still send out queries. What about twitter contests? I'm currently knee-deep in one, so I feel like this is murky territory.

Also, it seems like phone call R&R's are kind of rare. From an agent's point of view, do you do phone call R&R's or email ones? (2) Does this mean there are a ton of problems with the book and it would be easier to talk them out than send suggestions in an email? (3) Or am I overthinking it? (I'm overthinking it, aren't I) (4/5)

(1) NO

(2) Both

(3) Sort of

(4/5) of course you are, but you're a writer. It's what you do.

Ok, let's get down to details. In reverse order:

(3) Does this mean there are a ton of problems with the book?
Sometimes it's easier just to chat about revisions than write out a whole long email. It's more helpful sometimes to hear what the writer is thinking, and have her able to ask me questions. It doesn't mean there are ton of problems. It probably means there are a few, but something the agent thinks can be fixed. (It's not a given that all problems in manuscripts can be fixed)

(2) do you do phone call R&R's or email ones?
I do emails but that's by choice. I like to have a written record of what I asked for. Recently one of my colleagues mentioned she just didn't want to write a long email so asked the writer to have a phone convo instead. Both are used; there's no one better way.

(1) Should I offer the agent an exclusive while I work on revisions?
Never offer an exclusive. Never. I know you sometimes can't resist but RESIST. It's never in your best interest. If an agent asks, it's hard to say no, I understand, but at the very least you can duct tape your beak shut about offering one. (Don't make me come over there and gnaw on you.)

You should continue to query and whatever else you're doing to get eyeballs on your manuscript while you revise with this agent.

It's entirely possible an agent will suggest changes you think are bilge water. It's also possible you'll have second or third thoughts about whether you want to work with this agent.

This revision time is where you two get to know each other. Don't commit before you know what you're getting, and an exclusive is a commitment.

Some of my colleagues have been burned by authors doing revisions with them, then querying the freshened manuscript and signing elsewhere. I look on that as a bullet dodged frankly. An author willing to do that is someone I probably wouldn't want to work with, but it rankles agents when it happens. (And it poisons the well for that author forever as far as I'm concerned.)

What that means for you is that if you think the revisions are bilgewater, or the agent isn't a good fit, you don't keep the conversation going. You don't take up her time if you know you're not willing to sign if she offers.

Any questions?

Betabaloo

What do you do when all of your beta readers have totally different advice?

I've traded beta reads on the first section (approx. 50 pages) of my manuscript with four other writers. I was expecting the beta read to unearth any overarching issues, but instead the feedback barely overlaps. A scene one person loved another hated. A line that gave someone an ah-ha moment is tagged by another person as unnecessary. There are a couple small overlapping points, but for the most part I'm having trouble finding patterns.

Obviously, to some degree this is how books are. A book I love might not be someone else's cup of tea. A scene that speaks to me might not speak to others.

But in the context of polishing a manuscript till it shines, how should I interpret this?If there's no consistency in feedback, how do I proceed with editing?

Do I just go with my gut, taking each piece of feedback individually?

Do I go solicit a few more betas to see if they add any consistency to the mix (or just continue to complicate it)?

Do I focus on the one or two consistent things (two of three people wanted to see more of one of the scenes - an easy fix) and assume a lack of overlap means there aren't any glaring red flags in those first 50 pages and it's time to get some full manuscript reads?

Or something else entirely?

This reminds me of a very old, but always painful comedy sketch in which a lady trying on her new hat says to her husband "I'm going to wear this to the Ladies auxiliary meeting today; what do you think?" and he replies "Shouldn't you put on a dress?"

Because of course, she was asking about the hat whilst wearing her only her slip.

Her failure to ask a specific question led to the very unsatisfactory answer.

So first: what are you asking your beta readers to do?

"Do you like this?"
"Do you think this works?" might be too general.

"Where did you stop reading?" or "where did you get confused?" are often what I ask my interns to tell me when they're reading something for me.

As to your question: beta readers are useful for pointing out problems, but not fixes. If there's no consistency in what they say, you've probably got a book that doesn't have big problems. Not every reader likes every book.

But only probably.
In  reading only a chunk, rather than the whole, you might not have all the info you need.  A lot of structural problems show up after page 50 and I've got the editorial notes to verify that on a lot of novels.

Time for some whole-novel reads.


I'm sure our coterie of enlightened commenters will also have contributions on this topic.

R&R? Reject and retreat!

What is the proper etiquette for a querier who receives editorial comments and R&R from a literary agent, but after careful consideration, decides not to proceed with the revision? Polite email explaining why? No response? Ignore R&R and query the next book when ready? None of the above?

While "You're a dunderhead for suggesting this" is probably not the best choice, it's also true, even the polite version of that - "Thanks but no thanks"- isn't going to get you anywhere.

You're under no obligation to follow an agent's advice.
Some of us them give terrible advice, it's true.

But no one, not even dunderheads, likes to hear our pearls of wisdom are being discarded as worthless trinkets.


Thus "thank you for your notes; I appreciate your time and insight" is all you need to say. That their insight made you realize they are idiots, can go unsaid. Or that you don't intend to implement their suggestions.

If, at some point in the future, the agent gets in touch to ask whatever happened to your retelling of Casino Royale with dogs,

that's when to say "I decided to go in a different direction." Unless they ask, you don't have to tell. 

But just one more little trinket of wisdom: before you write off editorial comments and revision suggestions, let some time pass.  Some of our advice is better after it sits awhile. Yanno, like novels.

Well, maybe not epic, but....

If an agent who gives editorial feedback offers representation, is it appropriate (as part of the pre-acceptance process) to ask them to pick a section of the ms they think needs work and give editorial remarks? That is, in addition to discussing their vision for the ms in a general way, which I seem to recall you saying a writer should expect. The purpose being to see what it would be like to work with them on that level. If that's okay, rather than epic ass-hattery, what size section would be appropriate and not an imposition?

uhh...no.

No.

No.

No.

An agent is not auditioning for the lead in Editor On the Roof.

Either she's already given you notes;  she thinks chapter seven is fine; OR you're going to get notes and see what she thinks. It's entirely acceptable to ask "do you think the manuscript needs work; if so, what kind, how much etc." You can even ask "do you think chapter seven needs work?"

BUT saying "can you give me edit notes on chapter seven before I decide to say yes or no to your offer of representation" is not something you want to do.

Presumably by the time you've gotten to this point with an agent you know something about how she works. For example, you might have asked her clients if she gives notes to them, how fast that happens, how useful they are, and so on.

You might have read her blog to see if she can string words together herself.

You might have actually done a round of revisions with her before the offer was made.

But asking someone to give notes as part of the offer fails to recognize that until she sells something, she's got no income from you. In other words, you're asking for a favor. You'll want to be judicious in those asks.

You can get this information, or enough of it to be useful for your decision, without asking her to do more work than she has offered up voluntarily.

I'm glad you asked this question because it is one that would make me reconsider taking someone on, and I'd hate to see that happen if the writer just didn't know how it would be perceived on this end.

Just cause she's an agent doesn't mean she's right (said the agent who is ALWAYS right)

Yesterday I received the most heartbreaking rejection, and find myself again questioning how to know when to take an agent's feedback to heart.

This MS has been through webinars, bootcamps, workshops, multiple face-to-face agent critique appointments (where they've received 50 pages in advance), multiple charity-auction-won critiques from published authors I adore, and countless extensive revisions with 4 critique partners. I feel it's in the best shape of any  of my manuscripts, and I'm genuinely pleased with where it's at -- which is something for a Type-A perfectionist to be able to say. I'm at the tweaking-words stage, seeing no major changes required. It feels polished. I still laugh, I still cry. It feels very much like the book I set out to write.

I've queried in batches, and have had 10 full requests and many partials. Recently, I had a full request within 2 days from a rock-star agent at the top of my list. I felt a bit awkward that she skewered my book title in her request email -- but I certainly didn't point this out. Just replied, "Attached is TITLE OF MY BOOK, per your request," kind of thing.

In the rejection, she said my book was too like two of her other series, which I thought odd because I actually used one of those as a comp title -- her series is in a different age category and I feel very different in nature, but with one shared element that I thought might grab her (it seemed to, since she requested the full based on my query and opening chapters). The other series is absolutely nothing in tone like mine, and I feel, if she'd really read mine, she'd have known that by about chapter 4 at the least, if she couldn't tell it from the opening chapter. But... okay. That's fair enough -- maybe she hated it and didn't read past chapter 3!

The most difficult part was when she said that regardless of that, it needs "a lot of development work," including "worldbuilding, plot, and pacing."

Whoa. So, that's basically the entire manuscript.

This makes me feel as though I'm being told you don't know what you're doing. Although she said, "This is very much the kind of story I enjoy," I feel like I've just been informed that 10 years of writing, and 3 years on this manuscript, and countless conferences, studying and analyzing successful books I love, agent one-on-ones, etc. have all barely pushed me from square one to two. I know we as authors get wobbly and take things personally (and blown out of proportion) in the face of rejection -- and I'm the worst -- but I had a bit of a breakdown.

I don't know what this means, or where to go next. I consulted my CPs, and they are honest, non-smoke-blowing folk, I believe. They said they would've certainly flagged up these rather major issues if they'd seen them in any of the drafts they read. None of the authors/editors/professionals who've laid eyes on the MS or synopsis suggested any major issues like these. I don't know whether to shell out for a developmental edit (seriously considering it), or sit down with My First Craft Book 101 and go through the whole arc and structure with a seam ripper.

On top of all this is the wonder whether the agent actually read any of it. She clearly was excited about the premise and opening. But in all her emails to me, she CCed an assistant. I know it doesn't matter because no is no. But it makes me wonder if I was rejected by the assistant or the agent herself... especially since the title was skewered again in the body of her rejection email. I know agents are human, but I guess I'm surprised by the error, twice.

My question is, when you've worked with this level of workshopping and critiques and feedback that makes you feel overall pleased with the pillars of a manuscript, do you take a rejection like this to heart or not -- if no one else has ever said similar? My heart says no, but my brain whispers, "What if this is the reason you haven't been offered rep yet, and she's the only one who's shared the secret with you?"

I just wish she (or her assistant) had offered even one concrete example from my story to link to these problems.

You're giving too much power to this agent. You don't know if she read it. If she did, you don't know how much.

You need more Shark Salt on your popcorn. My first response would have been"Yer maternal unit, which is clearly not human, wears Army boots!"

You are not stupid. You are not slap dash. You worked hard on this novel. It may not be what Agent Shinola thinks she can sell but that's not the same thing as a novel that needs work.

Frankly this kind of criticism shows the agent doesn't know how to talk about writing very well.  If a manuscript needs world building, it's much more helpful to say "I need to smell the horse manure  on the streets in Helena Montana in 1878."  (Say what you will about Helena Montana, back when gunslingers lit agents rode horses to the negotiating table there was a certain olfactory signature to most towns.)

If someone tells you the plot doesn't work, it damn well better be accompanied by an example of a plot hole or two.

If the pacing is off, you say why: nothing is at stake by page 50; or, the ending of this short story happens too quickly.  Absent that kind of concrete suggestion or example, it's just yammer.

In other words, I can't just say "your plot sucketh the big one" without examples, and expect you to take me seriously.

Agent Shinola didn't offer any examples to bolster HER OPINION.  Why would you invest any kind of confidence in what she says?

If an agent can't tell you what's wrong with your novel, I'm hard pressed to think she's going to be able to talk about what's RIGHT with it if she takes it on and goes out on submission. "Read this, it's really good" is not a good pitch most of the time.

Your takeaway here: If I tell you the moon is made of green cheese,  I better serve you up a slice of Neil Armstrong pizza.

Penultimate bottom line: quit making lists of rock star agents; pay attention to critiques with specifics.

Bottom line: you dodged a real bullet here. Think about if Shinola was your agent and you turned in this ms.  If this was the kind of "edit note" you got, you'd be holding up the bar five days a week at the Writers Regrets Saloon and Synopsis Store. Count yourself lucky and get back to querying.

Wait, what?

The assistant for a very good, old school New York agent requested a partial of my thriller, then requested the full. Two weeks later, the assistant wrote back to tell me that she hadn’t read the full herself, but she’d given it to her intern, who had written up an extensive report about it, and the assistant was giving me an R&R.

The problem is that the intern’s comments, criticisms, and suggestions were largely off-base (sometimes painfully so), showed a real lack of insight into my novel, and betrayed a palpable inexperience about people and the world at large.

So, I’m in a bind. It would be a dream to sign with this agent, but I can’t revise according to the intern’s comments, because they would wreck my novel. Should I let the assistant know about the intern’s mistakes and hope she’ll be sympathetic? Should I just chalk the whole thing up to experience and move on? Or is there a third option?

Thanks very much.

  

The third option is to simply say you don't agree with the intern's assessment and suggestions for revisions. If you can use some examples of the painfully off-base criticisms, put those in your reply. Of course you'll leave out any kind of comment on the intern's state of mind, experience etc. You'll keep it solely about the work.  Leave it in the assistant agent's hands about what to do next.

Be prepared for the assistant to say sayonara. 

Meanwhile you KEEP QUERYING.


You don't say how much time has elapsed between getting this intern critique and writing to me. Before responding to the critique, you'll want to make sure you've given it at least a week. I can always tell when someone is replying in the heat of outraged rejection and inevitably, they have a more temperate reply a week later. 

And make sure you're not shouting "off my lawn, whippersnapper" before you reply. Sometimes those inexperienced babes in the woods see things that us more seasoned folk have long since stopped noticing.

Query Question: How to requery

I received the following feed back from an agent:
Thank you for your query of (title).  Although your story is intriguing, it needs another level of line editing. If you agree and complete the edits, feel free to re-query this project.
Since it would have been dumb of me to not take this advice to heart, I immediately began editing. It's been 6 weeks, I've eliminated about 3000 words (I'm not going to lie, a large number of them were 'that'!) and am ready to re-query.
My question is, how do I go about this? Do I just send the query again with my edited material in place of the original? Do I tell the agent it's a re-submission? If so, in the body of the e-mail or the subject line? Also, do I need to rework my query letter itself or do I leave it as is?
All of my responses so far have been of the 'thanks, but no thanks' variety, so I'm kind of flying blind here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I can see why you jumped on this with all four feet.  It must have felt like finding a storm celler in a tornado to get that reply.

I've sent replies like that VERY infrequently.  The number one thing that messes up your second chance? Replying too soon.

Six weeks is BARELY enough time.  Another line edit doesn't mean just paring out those extra words, but that's a good start.

It means letting the manuscript sit for a month. (I can hear you wailing from here when I say that) THEN going back and reading it out loud, very slowly and making sure every single word is the right word and in the right place.

Once you've done that, you're ready to requery.

Here's how you do that:

Subject line: requery per your email of (date agent replied to you)

Dear Agent Stormy Celler:

Thanks for offering me the chance to requery after a line edit for my novel TORNADO TANGO. I've completed the line edit.  Here's the original query with the revised pages.

QUERY

FIRST 3-5 REVISED pages (or whatever Agent Storym Celler) asks for.


Please please please do not let impatience get the better of you.  It's the number two query killer.  The first is plain bad writing so you're ahead of the crowd. Don't blow your chance here. 

Developmental question: conflicting feedback

I am getting some conflicting feedback.  I'll keep it simple with this example - my opening is "composed and intriguing" (from a literary agent who taught a class on the first 10 pages) and that the opening was "forced" (from a submission competition with editors that promised feedback).  I have submitted to agents and when I have received a custom rejection, it's been all positive (great concept, not for me).  My CP's all love the book as well.
I'm completely new to this industry and have been targeting my queries to specific agents that have expressed interest in a book like mine.  While everyone says "Query Widely", if it's a good book that simply won't sell, I'd like to change my focus to my other work. Worse, if I'm doing something wrong, I don't want to waste anyone's time** or have to put away this book forever because I queried all my top choice agents with it already before realizing my Big Mistake.  The largely positive feedback is encouraging but the the conflicting feedback has thrown me for a loop.  What's a girl to do?  

Ignore it.

It's entirely possible they're wrong.

You're giving this feedback too much importance. For whatever reason this book doesn't resonate with those readers.

Find more readers ie query widely.

Your top choice agents might not be the right agent for this book.

Feedback is important for getting a second set of eyes on a manuscript, and maybe seeing something you missed, or helping you find where the story begins.

I've had a LOT of positive response from the Chum Bucket even when the queries were not for books I'd take on because of just those things.

BUT even I am only right 97.23 percent of the time. Books I have passed on have gone on to sell and win awards. 

Have confidence in your work.  Query widely.






**do you REALLY need me to repeat the rant on wasting an agent's time?? I am more than happy to stand on my soapbox and give loud voice to this as often as it takes. 

Meet Miss Persnikity, your ms' BFF

A recent email exchange with one of my authors:

> ...I got far too many letters from
> prisoners, so a post office box was a necessity.

I get those too!
I always reply personally to those poor guys. Their handwritten hopes for publication just kinda break my heart. A LOT of Sci-Fi writers are in prison.

If we'd been in actual conversation, that third sentence might very possibly have passed unremarked because we both knew what I meant: the majority of query letters coming from a prison address are for SFF books.

But written on the page, it stops the eye (and rightfully so!)

If you'd sent a query letter that said most of your audience was in prison, we'd have a problem. Of course, what you'd meant to say was "lots of prisoners have ordered my book."

When you write, you know what you mean. Your task is to make sure I do too.  Whether your reader does is YOUR responsibility. If I don't understand your sentences, that's YOUR problem (generally) not mine.

How to make sure you avoid this problem: other readers. No matter how you get them, it's really important to have a second set of eyes on your manuscript that will catch things like this. Someone who is thin lipped, evil-eyed, and sucks lemons for a living. If you can pay them in lemonade and sauerkraut, so much the better.

Here's the kind of thing Miss Persnikity will catch:

should of

lie/lay/lay

There/they're

Bale/bail (misuse of found just tonight in a published book!)

How many SFF writers are in prison (or exiled in Carkoon)




I read your manuscript with Miss Persnikity looking over my shoulder. Too many tsks tsks from her and I know you're more careless than the kind of writer I want to work with regularly.

It's not a problem to write this stuff. The problem is when you fail to revise it away.

(and how many revisions are enough? This blog post had seven in three days)

Query Question: "toss this and start over"

 An agent recently requested pages and then called to discuss.  She is the first one who provided feedback, which was very much appreciated.  However, her opinion (of course, very professional and not rude) was that I should put the novel away for 6 months and then start over.  She said that the character development was weak  and this cannot be fixed by editing the novel.  There were other items she shared as well.  She said an entire re-write is in order.  What does a typical writer do when one agent gives feedback and the feedback is "start over and re-write?"  Granted, she did NOT ask to see if again after I re-write it.  Do I follow her advice?

Well, that sure wasn't what you were expecting in that call was it?  Yikes! I don't think I've ever called someone to tell them to start over. Email seems a whole lot more kind when delivering that kind of news.

And frankly, I'd wait to see what happens with other agents before taking her advice. It is after all her opinion, and unless she's me and thus completely and totally right 97.125% of the time, maybe she's wrong. 

Every single sale I've made has had at least one rejection from an editor who failed miserably to see the amazing value of the book I'd sent them. Sometimes they are able to rebound from such abject failures, but sometimes they have to be stricken from the list cause they are Blind Blind Blind.

I do think that letting a manuscript sit, and reading it aloud are two very good tools for seeing problems that are not readily apparant by reading.

I'm going to bet the Comment Team has some interesting anecdotal advice for you as well. 

Query question: revising/expanding a previous book

 I wrote a memoir about my childhood based on what I remember and what I was told. I didn't know anything much about my past, how to write a book, or research that goes with it. I was adopted. So, without the research I just rushed through with writing and self publishing the book. Since then I've located my biological parents and did research. I have all the research documents and people to back me up. How can I used what I have to rewrite my memoir? How so I explain the rewrite? Can I use a different title for my book?

You can do anything you want since this is your book, and your story. "Revised editions" or second editions of books are much more common with textbooks than memoir, but there are lots of people who write more than one memoir of their life. The late great Leonard Nimoy is a case in point. I AM NOT SPOCK was published in 1975.  I AM SPOCK was published in 1995.

You might think about writing a completely different book rather than revising. That will solve the biggest problem you face which is reader confusion.

You don't want readers to think they've already read the book if you want them to buy the revised and expanded version. Also, you don't want people to think it's a different book and be angry cause they'd read
the first version.

You can use a different title, but that makes it a new book.

You can call it an updated, revised, expanded version and use the same title but you MUST put "parts of this book originally appeared in an edition published in X"  OR "this edition is a revised, expanded version of TITLE published in X"


Nothing gets a reader annoyed like thinking they've been hoodwinked by old books being sold as new. 

And you might address the issue of the revision/expansion/update by writing a preface to this new book, saying what you said here: you've got  more info and more story.

The rule here is to be transparant with your readers and buyers.  
 

Query Question: how much revision till it's new

A year ago, I queried for a manuscript and got several full requests. They were all rejected with the primary reason being the opening was too slow, and various other style quirks as well (1), but most of these agents did request to see future projects (2). I've spent the past year revising the novel and it turned into a completely different novel, with the exceptions of character names and some character personalities, as well as a specific setting and half the title (3). Altogether, the plot is 90% new (and I did rewrite the entire thing), but in a query, there would be parts that would ring bells for agents who have already received a query on the previous version of this work.
I know in one of your recent blog posts you said that no means no. But since a few of these agents did love the premise & writing style, can I still query them with the new, different version of this project? And if I do, should I mention that I've queried a different version of this previously?

No.
See above.

Now, here's why I said no.

First, look up where I marked (1).  You got rejections saying "the opening was too slow" etc. That is NOT a complete list of why they didn't pounce on your novel with all four fins.

It's what they told you. It's not necessarily the COMPLETE reason.

What they did say clearly is FUTURE projects. (2)
That means something not-this.

You've painted and plastered, and replaced the fixtures, but this house is still at the same address.(3)

I know you want to start with the agents who expressed interest in your work, but you're better off shopping this to fresh eyes.

I've gotten a couple of these refurbished fulls, and I don't think I've ever said yes on the second go-round. 

If you elect to ignore this advice, you should mention that you queried before, took their advice to heart and rewrote the novel completely.  The part about taking their advice is the key here.

 

Query Question: responding to suggestions in a rejection letter

I received a few requests for my full manuscript about six months ago. One agent told me that she liked the story, but one specific part at the end seemed a bit unrealistic to the situation. I thanked her for her time, said I was sorry it couldn't work out, and went off to go weep in my keyboard. A couple of days went by, and I started to think about what she said a little more. I realized that the issue she had with the ending could have been fixed with a few added sentences of explanation, or something of the like. It really think I could have made it work. I kicked myself for not realizing it sooner, and even though I've moved on from that novel (it never worked out), I still keep thinking about it.

So my question to you is:

Would it have been out of line to email the agent back with my suggested fixes? Or is a rejection on a full manuscript considered the end of the line?

I tried to convince myself that if the agent thought the manuscript would work with a few changes she would have said something, but I can't help wondering just the same.

It's the end of the line. Absent the phrase "revise and resend" or "fix this and send it back" or "if you fix this, I'll take another look" the agent has said No, thanks. In other words, absent a specific request to get in touch after revisions, don't.

Often I can point to one or two things that will help a manuscript improve and I try to give that info to writers when I'm passing on their work.  The piece of information you're missing here though is this: that's not the only reason the ms is not right for me.  There are a lot of good manuscripts out there that aren't right for me. A pass from me (or any agent) doesn't mean anything except it's not right for them.

Expand your query search. It's really easy to focus on the agent who wrote back, but you need to look for other agents because the right one won't know about you till you query her. 

Query Question: I got help on my query, a lot of it.

I'm a first time novelist who is a month into the query process with limited success-- that is, I've gotten interest through my query letter and have sent out 4 full manuscripts and 3 partials (in addition to the 12 rejections I got from query alone). 

So far I've gotten three rejections for the manuscripts that I've sent. I've also noticed that any time I'm asked to submit sample writing with my query, I always get rejected. That might not mean anything (and we're still very early in the game, really, only 20 responses total so far), but the other part of the situation is that I hired someone to help me craft my query letter. She took two drafts of mine and put them together while altering quite a bit of it. She did an amazing job but now I'm concerned that agents are liking her voice, which might be misrepresenting my voice.

Was it a mistake to have someone else write my query letter? I figured, hey, I'm a novelist, I can't write concisely. But now I'm wondering if it would have been best to put my best voice forward since that's the voice I'm ultimately trying to sell.

Yes, this was an understandable but boneheaded error.  An agent is very interested in how well you write. Hiring someone else to do that writing is akin to hiring someone to woo your boyfriend and then popping in yourself for the wedding night.  Surprise!


And don't give me that hooey about "I'm a novelist, I can't write concisely"  Every single page of your book is made up of paragraphs. That's all a query letter is: three paragraphs.


And like anything else query writing is a LEARNED skill. There's an entire blog devoted to helping you acquire that skill.


Start over on the query. Write it yourself. Or better yet: work on your novel. You have prima facie evidence here that it's NOT working. 

Query question: asking to resubmit a manuscript

I just received the following from an agent to whom I had sent a query in early November:

"Please know I carefully considered your project, but I don't feel I can offer representation at this time... This is an accomplished story, and you’re a talented writer, but your pages need further editing, and the beginning could be reworked so that it is more compelling."

I agree with the need to make the beginning more compelling. In fact, a few weeks after submitting the query, I had an epiphany, and DID re-work the beginning to make it (I think) far more compelling.

Question: after thanking the agent profusely and buttering her up sufficiently, is it worth mentioning this in a reply email? Am I reading too much into the "at this time" phrase by thinking that she would be interested in a follow-up / revision? This particular agent is pretty high on my list, by the way, so I was excited to get a thoughtful response.

I get this a lot. I'm getting more of it now with Chum Bucket.  It's difficult impossible for a writer to stand down when there's still a shred of hope. 

Since it's impossible, I won't waste time telling you not to do it.

Instead, here's how to do it effectively:  

Thank you for your  helpful comments on (date) about my manuscript (title.)  In fact, I had an epiphany about the same problem in the manuscript as you were considering it, and I have revised along the lines you suggested.  Would you be willing to take another look at the same number of pages you read before?  Thank you very much for your time and special consideration.  Your chum, Writer


Be prepared for a vast swath of silence because it's easier to say nothing than say no.

I generally take a look at a couple pages when asked to re-consider something but that's it since this was not a requested revision.

These kinds of helpful comments from agents are often just a few of the things they think need work.  In other words, you've got long ass sentences and too much description but I haven't yet mentioned that I detest the plot, cause at least if you fix the sentences and the excess description you'll be better off with another agent who may not hate the plot at all.

Query Question: revising after rejections and how long to wait

You've suggested revising submission material after receiving either no response or rejections from agents and I'm good with that. 

However, as so many agents invite queries with pages/chapters in the submission, I'm unsure which to revise when that time comes. How to know where the "no" happened?

 
As for no response, if an agent is reading the query and pages/chapters, but doesn't offer a response window in the submission guidelines, is it reasonable to wait longer before closing it out? 

I'm not sure when I advised revising during the query process, but I'd like to see the source, since I think this might be out of context.

I think it's out of context for just the reason you mention in paragraph two. You don't know why/when/where there's a problem. Absent concrete suggestions for revisions, you run the very real risk of revising BADLY.

By badly I mean you don't know if an agent rejected your work (or failed to respond, nowadays the more likely situation -grrrrrrrrr) for something that had nothing to do with the quality or caliber of your work.

Take a look at the Chum Bucket post from last week. Fully EIGHT of the queries were for good books but just not books right for me. 

Look at the Chum Bucket results before that:  it's 14 good projects.

That's a substantial portion of the queries I get, and normally those receive ONLY a form reply.

If you're not getting the results you're looking for in the query process, that's when you invest some of your hard-earned dough in an editor, or a conference.  Get your pages in front of brutal, critical eyeballs.

Don't assume something is wrong with you if you're not hearing back; find out first.

As for timing, here's the definitive time table on dealing with scallywag agents who fail to reply to queries:

1. Send query.

2 A: IF agent auto-responds that query is received, wait prescribed amount of time plus 50% of prescribed time. Thus if they say they respond in 30 days, you give them 45. If they say six weeks, you give them nine.

2 B: IF agent does NOT have auto-responder, wait prescribed amount of time, then RE-SEND if no reply.

3. IF you are querying me, and you do not hear back follow 2B.

4. IF you are querying me, and you do not hear back after #3, email me or tweet to me. I respond to ALL queries that follow the general guidelines (Query Letter Diagnostics can help with that)


If you've tried twice, and not heard back, time to move on.

I find that incredibly rude and condescending in most instances, but so far I have yet to change the adoption of this course of action by many otherwise quite nice and polite agents whom I call my friends.
(Scoundrels!!)

 

Query Question: Revising novel when on submission to agents

I received an encouraging revise and resend with some great feedback from one of my top agents. I realized reading it that she was completely bang on in identifying some of the flaws in my novel, and began revising right away.

A little later, I received a full request from agent #2, whom I had queried some time ago. It's been about a week now and I haven't sent said full to agent #2, and I don't really want to until I've finished addressing agent #1's critique. But I'm worried that if too much time passes, agent #2 will wonder what's up. My manuscript was fully edited and ready to go (or so I thought) when I queried her. Should I let her know that I'm revising my manuscript based on feedback from another agent, or just send the full when it's ready (probably in another week or two) without an explanation? Is knowing that another agent has asked for revisions to a manuscript a positive or a negative in most agents' eyes? 

Here's the absolute ironclad rule: always send your best work. If you're doing revisions to fix some flaws in your novel, it's in BOTH our interests to have you send the better version.

Here's how you do this: You email Agent #2  RIGHT NOW and say "yo, snooks, got your request. Little late to the party, but ok for now.  I'm revising right now (I thought the novel was done!) and I plan to have it finished on X date. I will send it then unless you tell me otherwise.  Thanks again for your interest. I look forward to sending you my novel." Of course you put this in your own deathless prose. Remember to keep it SHORT. No more than 30 words total.

The thing to avoid here is a long period of silence. If I request a full, I pretty much expect to hear back promptly. That's because mostly I DO hear back promptly, not because it's critical to the submission process.

If I don't hear back within a week or so, my assumption is  my email went astray, and I email again.  In fact, this past year, I ended up emailing the writer who had REFERRED the querier because I hadn't heard back after several pings.

My colleagues are generally NOT going to do this. They're going to request and if they don't hear from you they're going to move on.  They'll remember you but they generally aren't going to track you down. I wrote a blog post that showed that a while back.