yes, you missed out

Oh, you little woodland creature thinking "who would ever want to mail anything to MEEEE??"

Well, I did.
Yesterday, as it happens.

I have some extra copies of Laird Barron's Black Mountain, and Patrick Lee's Dark Site.
I looked through my address book for people I hadn't sent things to in a while.

But first,  I looked through my requested fulls for writers who are revising their novels. Nothing like a really good book to see how it's done.

And guess what?
A LOT of you don't put your physical address on your manuscripts.

I didn't email you to ask.
I just moved on to the next guy.

Which just underscores one of the Rules for Writers: BE REACHABLE.

Put your address on your manuscript.
Put your email (NOT just a contact form) on your website.

Link to your website or email with the name you use to comment here.

You don't know what you're missing if you aren't reachable.

Well, you do now.

Any questions?

Rules for Writers: Be Committed

I feel like Tom Hanks in the movie Castaway. My remote and deserted island is the belief that the machinations which brought forth the sudden rise of the independent self-publisher will collapse like the housing market because it cannot support its own weight. Yet, I am surrounded by an ocean of self-publishing hype and hysteria where waves of mediocre authorial success—marked by an ability to quit one’s day job (for now)—and the snake oil salesmen that are “gurus” and “industry insiders” touting the next get-published-quick scheme pound me into a pus of submission where I almost believe there is no other way to publish.

This blog (your blog) is my Wilson, offering me a tenuous tether to the kernel of hope that the reality I hold dear—that those publishing professionals who have lived and breathed the industry for decades actually know what they’re doing and will be around long after the collapse of Everything from A to Z’s publishing platform—isn’t just a dream.

Still, I am desperately trying to build the raft that will carry me to home, to the professional community dedicated to spreading as much fervor and zealotry in the world of the traditionally published author as I see in the self-publishing world.

Other than the obvious: write the best book you can, query wide, publicize the hell out of your book once you are published, rinse, repeat … can you (or the Reiders) offer any direction to the community I’m seeking? (You know, those who have also not given up on the world of traditional publishing, those who understand the patience and dedication required to commit to a craft and business such as ours.)

Thanks again for everything you do.

That community is right here.

And it's at author events in bookstores.

And book cons with authors, cons like Bouchercon, Malice Domestic and book festivals where readers meet writers.

Your people are the authors in the trade publishing trenches. They are suffering like you are; hearing the siren call of all the self-publishing authors who think their way is the One True Way.

Go to those places, and support the authors there. You build community by participating.
Talk about and review books by authors like you.
Offer them the support you will need later.

I remember when Amazon reduced the barrier to publishing by providing a marketplace for almost any kind of book, and people gleefully told me it was The End of Publishing As We Know It.

Well, it wasn't.

Any more than the arrival of mass markets assured the death of hardcovers.
Any more than ebooks signaled the death of print.

Publishing is a VERY old industry and it moves glacially. That's not a selling point these days, but it means that it's weathered more than a few storms and most likely will weather this one.

To give yourself some perspective on the passage of time, read the wonderful book An Infinity of Little Hours by Nancy Klein Maguire about the Carthusian monks at Parkminster (in England). The Carthusian order was established in 1084, and has changed little in the intervening thousand years. Carthusians make the pace of publishing look like a jackrabbit.

To fend off despair: Be the voice you need to hear. You'll be surprised how many people believe as you do. Commit yourself to being part of the community you need.

And a new Rule for Writers: Be committed.

Rules for Writers: Be Brave

You get an offer of representation.
You've been in the revision, and development, and crushed hope trenches for so long you can scarcely believe you've now got a ladder out.


You email all the agents looking at your work.
You let them know you've got an offer.


And you dig out the list of questions to ask.
And you ask.

And your heart sinks.
There are some other red flags.
Not huge red flags like reading fees, or schmagenty credentials.
She's real, she's legit.
She's just not Right.

So you take a breath.
And you say no.
And you email the agents with your manuscript and let them know that you've turned down the offer.


Not a lot of people will understand what it took to say no.

We do.

So, I've got some stuff on the web... (and a new rule for writers)

I had a question I was hoping you could answer on your blog. Basically, I'm new to writing with a few short stories published, and am working on some novels, which might be ready to query in the next couple years. My question is in regards to my personal blog, which I've been posting at since 2004. There's mention of my mental illness, personal life events, etc, which I've always felt reasonably OK about because my full name isn't on there and anyone mentioned is anonymised with nicknames. However, my first name is pretty unique and I'm the only person ever born in my province to have been given it (no seriously, I looked it up!). It's also in my blog URL. Anyone Googling me who knew my approximate location would conclude in 0.00002 seconds that the blog is mine.

My question is, if I start a new website that's just for my writing, do you think my existing blog is going to cause problems? I would hate to think that a prospective agent would think about representing me, Google my name, come up with that blog, and then turn me down...let alone prospective readers or just people interested in my writing. Do you think I should delete the personal blog? (I've got a lot of memories on it and it would make me very sad.) Lock it? (Or would that look suspicious?) Pretend it doesn't exist and hope the author site comes up first on search results?

When you introduce yourself at a business function, what do you say? If you're like most people you say your name, your company, maybe your job title. When the conversation continues you talk about things that are in the ballpark of your job. If you happen to find a point of personal intersection with the other people in the conversation ("We both hate kale!" "We both know Felix Buttonweezer" "We both think Barbara Poelle is the cat's pjs!") then the conversation might get more in depth.

My guess is however that you're not going to mention your mental illness, personal life events etc. This is not because you are ashamed of your life. It's because it's your personal life, and the conversation is a professional one.

Querying is a professional conversation.

Thus you'd NOT put your personal blog link on a query letter.

However, whether you leave your blog up, lock it so only designated readers can see it (people will just think it's nekkid pictures of you, don't worry), or take it down is a choice only you can make.

Generally speaking I'm going to click on the links you give me, not start randomly googling your name. I'm not trying to play gotcha with people querying me. I'm trying to find out if they're asshats or they failed to mention some key pieces of information (previously published books; previous agents; a distinct lack of love about agents and querying.)

Now of course, the elephant in the room here is "my mental illness." There's a huge stigma attached to mental illness and anyone who says otherwise is naive.

How much to reveal of your personal journey is your decision. Yes, there's a risk in being open about something a lot of people neither understand nor feel comfortable discussing.

That said, you must be yourself. At some point in conversations with an agent about representation, this topic will arise. Choosing when that happens means you don't have the information available to the googling public.

And your unasked question is "will someone reading about my mental health issues be more likely to reject my work?" I don't know the answer to that question. I know that someone who does is probably not a person you'd want to work with anyway.

The bottom line is I care first and foremost about what you're writing. I've also been in this business long enough to know that great art can often be accompanied by an unquiet mind. Being honest about who you are, what you've experienced, and how those experiences have shaped you is important. You may have a bigger impact on your readers by being honest about your life than you'll ever know.

One of the Rules for Writers is Be Brave.
I think being brave about your life is good, but that blog post is about a different kind of bravery.

I think you need a new rule: Don't try to spackle, paint or remodel yourself to please some unknown arbiter. You don't have to reveal every detail of your life, and certainly we all tailor ourselves in small ways to accommodate the feelings and mores of people around us.  But, closeting your true self will kill your spirit and your creativity.

Thus the new rule: Be Yourself.

Rule for Writers: Be Resolute

Back from vacation has meant tackling the incoming queries. I was glad to find something delicious early in my foray, and requested the manuscript.

Back it came, so I sent my usual acknowledgement.

Then, a second email arrived from the writer:

I need a little clarification on your message. I understand that it may take up to three months for you to read my work, but are you also asking for a 90-day exclusive? I've just started querying agents for this book, and you are on the top of my list. ... your well-published stance against exclusives was an important draw for me.

what! Where? Huh?
I pulled up the template I use to acknowledge receipt of fulls:

Got this, thanks.
I'm asking for 90 days on fulls right now to my chagrin.

Given my "well-published" (ha! SHOUTED! RANTED! Buttonhole anyone who will listen is more like it!) stance on exclusives: they stink

I was surprised anyone would think I was asking for one.

Well, this writer was not alone. Another writer had asked the same question just a few months earlier.

Thus it's not them, it's me. This reply is NOT as clear as it needs to be.

I made changes:

I'm asking for 90 days on fulls right now to my chagrin.
(This does not mean exclusively. Exclusives stink.
Keep querying as I read.)

I admire both writers for asking what they might have feared were stupid questions. They were resolute in their determination to query correctly. They were not afraid to ask about something that seemed odd. Or they were afraid, and did it anyway. That's resolute. A Very Good Thing for a Querying Writer.

When in doubt, ask.

If an agent doesn't respond to your question (and I don't mean tens, I mean two or three at most) now at the requested full stage, it gives you valuable information for prioritizing agents.

Just a reminder: Be Reachable

Be Ready for what?

Well, in this case, be ready for The Shark to swim into your pool.

[Blog reader: Janet, for godiva sake, quit with the metaphor, it's morning, I'm on my first cup of coffee, just spit it the fuck out!]

Righto.

When you comment on the blog, you sign with your google identity.
It's the blue line of your name on the comment.
It looks like this:

When I click on the blue name I see this:

Or maybe I see....this

This second one is the Blog ID of Doom because if I want to visit your blog, or find out more about the novel you mentioned in your comment, or find your email so I can tell you why your comment was deleted (and it wasn't cause I hate you/think your feet smell funny/you said something stupid) I CAN NOT FIND YOU.



What 2Ns has is PERFECT. 
Do what she did.



There's a rule about this:

 Be Reachable


You'd be surprised how much I prowl around your sites when I'm intrigued by something. A savvy writer is prepared.

Query Question: querying after another agency member said no to a full

On some agency websites, the submission guidelines state that should an agent turn down a query, the author is allowed to re-query another agent at that same agency. What happens after a full or partial manuscript is requested? If the first agent turns you down after reading your full/partial, is it still okay to query another agent at that same agency?

There's no right or wrong answer to this since it depends on the individual agent and agency involved. My advice is always to Query Widely. That means if they don't say "don't do it" then go right ahead.

I'm always looking for good projects. If one of my colleagues was short-sighted enough to miss your brilliance, well you should have queried me first, but at least query me second.

Don't be afraid of offending agents. There's no blacklist, there's no such thing as the Query Police. There are couple ways to shoot yourself in the foot by querying stupidly but you're clearly not in that category.

If you spend a lot of time fretting about doing the right thing, you're going to miss out. Be bold. Query like you have the answer to my prayers.

In fact, this is important enough to be included as a Rule for Writers: Be Bold.

Promo tip: when?

Do you have a website that lists your upcoming events/appearances?

When was the last time you updated it?

Here's why I ask.
Recently an editor pal sent me an advanced reading copy of a book by an author I didn't know. I read it and liked it very much. I googled his website, wondering if he was going to be in NYC or maybe attending Bouchrcon, or in some way how our paths might cross.

His event button on his website led to me a long list of events.
From 2012.

The reason I know they are 2012 is cause the first one is for July, and I thought maybe he was just very organized and had booked events far in advance.  But no, Saturday July 7th isn't in 2014. Or even 2013. I actually checked my 2012 date book and sure enough 7/7/12 is a Saturday.

Now, the website police aren't going to show up at your door and no one is going to not buy your book if your event page isn't cleaned up. That's all true.

However.

You don't know what you're going to miss if you're not ready.


I've said it before, I'll say it again here now: Be Ready
In this instance it means keep your event page updated so sharks can swim by and tell you they liked your book. A lot.

Speaking of tenacity

I'm closed to queries till the end of the year (but the prep for re-opening is underway, don't you worry my pretties!) however I've got my eyeball on some of you, particularly those of you who enter the writing contests here.

What with one thing and another I end up in brief email exchanges with a lot of you who win and end up following you on Twitter or otherwise keeping you on my radar.

Which explains why I was sauntering around Michael Seese's blog the other day and found this post about submitting something every single day of October.

That's an amazing goal, made more amazing by achieving it.

It's not a sustainable pace but that's not the point. The point is to get stuff out there, and he did.

The Fabulous Jeff Somers sends out one short story every month, and has done so every month every year since he's been 19.  Jeff is NOT 19 anymore.  In fact, I think he's near to double that.

And he gets published. And honored.  And read.

There's a new rule for writers about being tenacious. This is one good way to BE tenacious.

I was going to call it the Nelson DeMille rule, but the hell with that. Mr. DeMille is famous enough without any help from me.  I think we should call that rule the Michael Seese Rule.  Whaddaya think?

Question: who do you have to know around here?

This is what I gather from what I read on the net: It is not encouraging:

The publishing world already has all the agents it needs.
Agents already have all the clients they need. this is just not true
Editors work only through agents, whom they use as first readers. neither is this
Editors do not want to hear from outsiders.
Realistically, therefore, outsiders are just S.O.L. and I don't think this is either, but more on it later

You didn't take rhetoric or logic in college did you? Spent too much time reading novels before breakfast no doubt.

Agents don't have all the clients they need because some current clients aren't going to be publishing books in ten years and agents will still need to make money.  That means that many agents are ACTIVELY looking for the new writers now who will pay the bills in ten years.

As substantive proof of this I refer to you any agency website: make a list of 100 agencies. How many aren't accepting queries at all? I can think of two: Nicole Aragi and ICM.  I didn't look, that's just from memory.

I'm not accepting queries at present but everyone else at FinePrint is. 

I actually buttonholed an agent one time and, without mentioning your name, quoted your advice that knowing someone is not important. She looked incredulous and asked what I thought was important if knowing The Right People was not important and again without mentioning your name quoted your advice to “Just write well, that’s all.” The response?

“Write well? Are you kidding? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.”

I interpreted that as disagreement. Publishing is about Knowing Somebody.

So should I try to raise dodo birds in Alaska instead, or keep writing?

While raising dodo birds in Alaska is a fine skill to acquire (there's a book in that by the way, just in case this novel thing doesn't work out)  let's actually talk about your underlying question: Do you have to know someone to get a foot in the door?

Up till about 8pm Wednesday night I would have said no, scoffed in fact, and read you the list of my clients that arrived over the transom (about 75% of them right now.)

But last Wednesday I had the rare pleasure of attending the Center For Fiction presentation by Nelson DeMille.  He was interviewed by Jonathan Santlofer and one of the questions he was asked was "Do you have to live in NYC to get a foot in the door?" which is akin to "do you have to know someone."

And Nelson DeMille said "yes you do" and I about fell off my chair.  But he made a case for his opinion and here it is:  when you're at the heart of publishing (and publishing is still very much a NYC based industry) you have more opportunities to meet the people who can make things happen for you. 

And I thought of the number of people who've published books recently who have jobs in publishing, or connections to people in publishing, and it's not a small percentage.

So, yes, it helps if you're here. And it helps if you're meeting people who can make stuff happen for you.

And if you want to take that information and use it as the reason to believe you'll never make it, well, you should.  Giving up cause someone tells you it's hard means you don't have what it takes to be a writer. published.  It takes tenacity to make it in this business. No matter who you know or where you live.  If you want to succeed as a writer you must be the kind of person who looks at that long list of things at the top of your question, dusts off the skates and says "I'm going to be the exception to that."

There's a rule about that in fact: Be Tenacious

New Rule for Writers: Be Knowledgeable

Imagine for a moment you are applying to be an extra in "The Hobbit"
The casting director asks "what makes you special?"
Your answer "I'm the only person available for the job."


The casting director looks out the window to see this:

People lined up to apply for the job.

The casting director says "NEXT!" and you're out the door wondering what the hell happened.


I mention this because all too often I'm seeing queries from writers saying there aren't any/enough books on their subject.

Since one of the things I look for are holes in the market,  I turn to Amazon and search for books on that subject.

Too many times the search turns up more than 100 books.  Obviously not all are good matches.  But you don't need to find 100 to know that "I'm the only one" isn't on the right side of the truthiness scale.

What does this mean for you?

It means Know Your Field.  If you want to write a picture book that reinforces a certain concept, you better have read every picture book in your library, and all the ones your librarian tells you are a good match for that idea.

That way, your answer to "what makes you special" is not "I'm the only one" but "I do this better than Title X" or "my book is more current than Y."

If you want to write a novel about world war two spies, you'd better know who Alan Furst is. And David Downing. And Ken Follet.

If you tell me there aren't any good books about being a cop, I'm going to bop you on the noggin with a copy of Edward Conlon's BLUE BLOOD.

Every single time you write "there aren't any books about this" I double check. EVERY TIME.  If you get this wrong, it's game over.

How do you get knowledgeable about your area or topic? You read. A lot. If you haven't read at least 100 books in your area, you're not ready to start writing.  This obviously is an on-going effort and keeping a reading journal or list is a good idea.  I maintain a list of the published, non-client books I've read on Library Thing.

Read the books that are reviewed in PW, or the magazines that serve your genre.  I subscribe to Crimespree, Mystery Scene and several others just to keep track of what's out there.

Almost all publishers have their catalogs online now. Go to their websites and download them, and see what they're publishing that you've never heard of.  Read those. Keep notes.

And if you think this is a waste of time, let me remind you of this: one of the keenest readers of genre fiction is a guy named Lee Child.  Heard of him? Before he was a writer, he was a reader. When he sat down to write his first book, he knew a LOT about what was out there, what worked, what didn't and most important, what he wanted to write about.

I saw this firsthand at Bouchercon three years ago when I walked through the book dealers's room with him.  He knew dozens and dozens of authors and books. He'd read them and had opinions on them.

I vowed then and there to make sure I kept up on my reading. It's part of the job.

Any questions?

Friday Night at the question Emporium and a new Rule for Writers

I'm sure that you receive many thank-yous, nonetheless I want to sincerely than you for taking the time to read through my query once again.  However, I am left wondering.... You said it "sounds like a fun novel" and while I would love to be jumping for joy that Janet Reid said my novel sounds like fun!!

I can't help but wonder if maybe you were just being nice.  And here I am, left to think that I would have taken it a lot better if you would have just told me that I'd written a piece of crap and that I need to change this, this, this, this, and this before it is any good at all.

Oddly enough, I feel like I can take criticisms better than compliments.  I really admire your opinion and would love to know what you really meant when you said my novel sounds like fun.  Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it and am better off leaving well enough alone.

Clearly I need to work on my image if you think someone with a shark avatar is ever "just being nice."

You can choose to think "oh she's just saying that" (although why I would do that is a mystery to me) OR you can choose to believe it.

One is positive. One is not.  If you are to survive and thrive as writer it is imperative you choose the positive approach.

I don't mean you are Pollyanna.  When you find out your sales figures aren't anywhere near what you were sure they'd be you don't clap your hands and shout "oh yay!" No, you weep and rend your garments and curse the fates, BUT THEN you pick yourself up and say to your agent "OK, let's deal with this. Strategy time."

What you do NOT say is "oh they must think I suck as a writer, woe is me."

If you're getting a lot of rejections you weep, and rend your garments and curse the fates, then pick yourself up and say "Ok, I'm riding my rocket boots to a writing conference where I can meet with agents who can give me some feedback on my query and pages."

What you do NOT say is "oh I suck as a writer, all these rejections can only mean I really suck."

If you send a query to the Chum Bucket and I say something nice you say "thank you" not "oh did she really mean it" because if you disbelieve every positive thing you will create enough self-doubt to float a battle ship and you will sink yourself.  And it will be exhausting for people around you.


How you respond is a choice you make. We all have that instant feeling of doubt, of panic, but the next step is crucial. Get a grip on your reptilian brain, shake it and growl "Enough of that panic horseshit! When Janet Reid read my query and wrote it was a fun novel she meant it." And then you believe it.


Rule for writers: Be positive

Rules for Writers-Get Ahead of the Curve(ball coming at you)

Two years ago I attended Malice Domestic and during the Saturday banquet heard one of the winners of the William F. Deeck Malice Domestic Unpublished Manuscript contest give a short thank you speech.

It was a lovely gracious speech that touched on how much the writers at Malice meant to her, and how thrilled she was to learn she might now be on her way to joining them.

I knew I was looking at a star. I leaped over the table and rushed to accost her. Fortunately she did not summon les gendarmes to escort me out of the ballroom by mon oreille.

Instead, when I asked if her novel was ready, she said "yes it is." I read it, signed it and sold it. She came that year as a contest winner, the next with a deal, and this year with a published book.

The contest only required three chapters. But if all you have is three chapters, it's hard to snag an agent. And if you win a contest, there's a golden opportunity to be in front of some people who might want to help you reach the next level.

Be ready for the next step.

If the contest is three chapters, finish the novel and then enter. If you win, you're ahead of the curve.

If you're querying on your first novel, have a second one ready. If you hear "I like your book, but it's not right for me, what else do you have?" you've got something else ready to go. You're ahead of the curve.

Here's the rule: Get ahead of the curve as much as possible.

Be Confident: Let your writing do the talking

What are you?

Pre-published?
Multipley published?
Award winning?
Cantankerously represented?

No.

You're a writer. Even if your books have not been published. Or if they have. Or if there is more than one. You may have won an award (congrats!). You may be agented, not-agented, soon-to-be-separated from the agent from Hell.

But: you're a writer.

That's all you need to tell me, and you don't need to tell me even that. Let your writing show me you're a talented and amazing writer. Show me. Don't tell me.

I'm cantankerous, sardonic and perpetually annoyed enough at this stage of my career that I don't believe anything anyone tells me.

"I was nominated for an Edgar" means I look up the Edgar list for that year.

"I have been published before" means I look you up on Amazon.

"My agent slithers" means I call up Barbara Poelle and ask why she's letting you go.


All you need to do is tell me about a novel I want to read. And I'll read it. Have confidence enough to let your writing speak for itself. You're a writer. I'm a reader. That's all we know, and all we need to know (sorry Keats, couldn't resist.)

Rules for Writers!--an ongoing list

Soon I will be pried out of New York with a crowbar.

Yes, the Alaska Writing Guild was brave enough to invite me to their writing conference, and given I like polar bears and hoped one or two might register for the conference, I said yes.

As part of my work for the conference I'm receiving emailed manuscript pages, and query letters. Of course, with any such information exchange there are snags.

Tonight was a common one. One person sent me the email address for an author who needed some specific questions answered. I clicked on the address, sent an email.

Boing! Boing! Bounced back faster than you can say "googleschmoogle"

What to do?
It's 2 in the morning here in New York. Even with a five hour time difference it's pretty late to start calling up strangers on a Sunday night.

So, I did what I always do first: I googled. Sure enough, up pops the author's blog, and there's his email address in his bio.

Bingo, bango, bongo, much better than boing boing, yes indeed.



Even if the blog was empty, if it had the email address it would have given me what I needed. A contact page on a website would have too.

Even if you're not published, even if you're just starting out, be READY if someone needs to reach you.

Here's the rule: Be reachable.

The shoe is on the other foot and it pinches!

Some weeks ago one of the head honchos here at the FinePrint Lit Bar and Grill forwarded a query to me with the usual "is this for you?" message.

I read it, and yes indeed it was for me. It practically had my name in lights at the top of the query. Never mind that my name is now apparently spelled RUBIE not REID.

But, I digress.

As usual when I get something I think is yummy, and might have already been snapped up by any of my more slithery colleagues, I give the prospect a ring on the phone.

Me: Hello, this is Janet Reid at FinePrint Lit. You sent us a query on such and such a date and it was forwarded to me since my list is a good fit for what you write.

Hot Prospect: Hello, nice to meet you.

Me: I'm calling to make sure you haven't signed yet with any of my slithery competitors colleagues whom I'm sure have been chasing after you.

Hot Prosp: No, no I haven't.

Me: Great, well, I hope you'll be ok with me reading your book then. I'm eager to get the pages.

HP: Well, no. I don't want you to read it.

Me: stunned, incredulous silence.

I've NEVER had someone refuse to let me read something. As you can well imagine, it's 100% the other way around, I'm refusing to read stuff left and right.

To say I'm stunned is to say Stephenie Meyer sold a few books last year.

In the next five nano-seconds I think the following things:

1. He's read my blog and he thinks I'm a foul mouthed bitch.
2. He's read my blog and he thinks I'm incompetent.

3. He knows me and doesn't like me.
4. He's heard of me and doesn't like me.

Now, these thoughts aren't as lucid as this list. It's mostly just an overwhelming feeling of self doubt and the instant assumption his refusal was about ME.

In the next moment, I have a blinding, and I mean BLINDING, realization that this is how some people who query me react to form rejections. I think the last time there was a bolt like this Saul might have been on the road to Damascus.

Then Mr. Prospect elaborates: "I've decided to re-work the novel and I'm several weeks from having it done. I'd rather send you the revised and polished up version."

Me: Sure, no problem. Glad to get it then.


I tell you this here to illustrate one more time that when you query agents and you get a form rejection, it's not always about YOU. It could be about ME.

It's ME if I'm not enamored of the topic no matter how well written;

it's ME if I'm overwhelmed with work this week, and just can't read one more partial;

it's ME if I've got a project very similar to yours and can't sell it for spit;

it's ME if I can't think of an editor who would buy this book and have no idea where to even start;

it's ME if a colleague handles this genre and I don't want to encroach on his/her turf.


I don't tell you any of this, and I don't apologize for using a form rejection in these cases. I do, and you'll just have to know that.

Sometimes of course it is the writing. But not always. And if you've been paying attention to this blog and others, you've avoided some of the classic mistakes (glitter! photos! fiction novels!) If you've availed yourself of QueryShark or Evil Editor or any of the other critique sites, you've probably got a decent query.

That means you press ahead. Don't dog paddle around the slough of Despond. Climb out, hose yourself off, and get back to work.

Rule for writers: Be rational. Understand that your first response comes from that reptilian base of your brain. Then engage your thinking brain.

"agents"

I'm a regular reader of Editorial Anonymous (added reason: I love love love her slush monster!!) and her post today about "agents" who send cover letters addressed to "Dear Publisher" made me snort coffee out my schnozz.

I've long advocated asking a simple benchmark question of prospective agents-What have you sold
but perhaps it needs to simpler yet: which editor might like my book!

Publishing is in a rollercoaster ride of changes right now (just listening to the tweeting from TOC conference this morning makes me slightly frantic) but one thing has not changed: this industry runs on who you know. An agent who doesn't know anyone is worse than useless. It's ok to ask who do you know to a prospective agent asking to represent your work particularly if the agent is new and doesn't yet have much of a sales record.

Make MORE mistakes, not fewer

I attended the NYCIP writing conference on Friday (I got roped into moderating a panel, and try as I might, I had a lot of fun, and learned a lot).

The lunch keynote speaker was Lincoln Child and since he's a big time thriller guy, I was interested in what he had to say. He's really funny and charming by the way if you're ever looking for a good author for a conference.

One thing he said that struck a chord was "I'll tell you this so you won't make my mistakes." That made me think how often I've put a blog post up here (the entire category of annoy-me for example) in hope that you won't make mistakes.

But I also hear those voices in the comment column, here and in other places, that say how hard it is to get this stuff right, and how terrifying it is to think you're doing something wrong.

Ok, then, here's the best advice I'm ever going to give you probably:

Make Mistakes.

Make LOTS of mistakes.
Give yourself a dollar for every stupid thing you do.

Now, why on earth would I say this?

Fear of mistakes leads to paralysis. If you're so afraid of making a mistake or annoying me that you don't query, or don't write, or don't finish, the result is still the same: nothing.

So, do it, even if it's wrong. It's not going to kill you, and (more important) it's not going to kill me if you make every mistake in the book and invent a few new ones.

Here are some benefits for making mistakes:

1. You'll develop a thick skin, cause you'll get a lot of rejection. Rejection will not kill you.
2. You'll learn what works (because you'll figure out what doesn't)
3. You'll have moved off the starting point, even if you're going in the wrong direction, and the reason to do that is:

Even if you're standing in the wrong place at the wrong time, opportunity might knock. You have to come out of your safe little cave for the opportunity meteor to hit you.

So, what kind of mistakes should you make?

1. Query everyone. Forget that crap about honing a list and researching what agents like. Query everyone. If they say no, so what. Maybe just maybe you'll find an agent looking to branch out, looking for a fabulous new voice, looking for you. The cost of querying right now is damn near zero since you can query almost everyone by email.


2. If you don't hear back in 30 days, query again twice more. Don't assume silence = no until you've tried three times.  As more and more agents follow the loathsome No Reply means No, writers have no way of knowing if the first query was received. Figure three times to make sure. (updated 7/6/14)

3. If one agent at an agency says no, query the other ones.


4. Take your manuscript and your query letter with you to every single place you might meet an agent. This does not mean you thrust said pages under hotel room doors, under bathroom door stalls, under lunch plates, or into handbags. In fact, you don't offer them up at all. But you're READY if someone asks.


5. Write what you don't know. I recently attended a panel sponsored by the New York Chapter of Mystery Writers of America, and it was interesting to me that five of the six authors had created a protagonist in their own image. That's all well and good, but I'm much more interested in the people I don't see every day. The one author who mentioned her protagonist was a Pakistani terrorist was the author I went out and bought the next day.


There are some mistakes you don't want to make of course; being rude is probably the top one on that list. Being stupid is second. You DO want to take risks and chance making a mistake though. Don't let fear of being wrong keep you from finding out how to write.

The corollary to this though is LEARN from your mistakes. It's ok to make them, it's GOOD to make them. It's not ok to make the same ones over and over again.

One fast way to be rejected or fired

Be mean, rude, or otherwise unbearable to the non-agent staff in the office.

Yup, that'll do it.

There are three people in our office who you might think of as "assistants." They are not. They are godsends. They are incredibly valuable, and I treasure them. These are the people who sort the mail, run the manuscripts through the xerox, prepare the UPS shipments, order the office supplies, and answer the phone. They are worth every penny they get paid, and should be paid a lot more.

Anyone who is rude to them is foolish and shortsighted. Given a choice between them and anyone else, I pick them. They make my life easier. It's not a hard choice.

They get to put up with exactly as much crap from people as they choose. If they don't want to deal with you, you're fired. As a client. As a prospect. As an anything.

If you want to yell at someone, you can yell at me. Don't even think about yelling or being rude to anyone else. You're replaceable. They are not.

Forget what you learned in kindergarten.. most of what I know about marketing I learned from Madonna

And it's really simple: be ready for opportunity to strike.

Some, ok many, years ago, Madonna was an unknown singer in New York. She wanted to be better known, have a record deal, have people hire her to sing. She made some demo tapes. They weren't that great, but they were at least actual demo tapes. And she carried them with her everywhere she went. Everywhere. To the bodega. To art parties. To clubs. Everywhere. She was ready if she met someone who could help her.

She was ready for opportunity to knock.

I was reminded of that this weekend.

Almost every single time I said "that sounds interesting, do you have pages?" the answer was no.

I know writing conferences, and conference organizers are VERY sensitive to agents being inundated with unrequested pages. I know they say "don't expect to give pages to an agent in a pitch session".

That's not wrong, and I'm not saying you should expect all agents to ask for pages. I'm not saying you should EVER say "do you want to see pages" and you should never slide pages under the agent's hotel room door or bathroom stall door (all those have happened so I've heard.)

What I'm saying is to be ready if one does. Carry your pages with you in your car, or have them in your hotel room, or carry the first chapter in your purse. Be ready.

I asked 56 people for pages this weekend. 5 were ready, and those were the people who attended a workshop on how to craft their pitch. I read and critiqued their pages. It wasn't on the conference schedule. It wasn't planned. It just happened. They were ready. Are you?