1. No, you can't come to my office to pitch me your books while you're visiting NYC for the holidays. You have to send a query. If I want to look at you, I'll tell you. And why do you think I'd be available the four days before Christmas anyway? (and just fyi, I DO meet with prospects but it's AFTER I've read their entire novel, had several email exchanges and expressed interest in talking further)
2. When you send me a manuscript that is in some weird ass font, with weird ass margins, and you've quadruple spaced between paragraphs, and I have to fix it just to read the first four pages...how much do I want to read on? Choose from:
3. No, I'm not paying to go to your conference. I don't need "the visibility" thanks. Right now, I'd prefer to be INVISIBLE in fact. I'm not paying for any part of a conference. Not the banquet, not the taxi ride, and certainly not the plane fare. If I wanted a "vacation" in the middle of January, trust me, it would NOT involve people pitching me their novels!!!
(removed rant about menorahs and Christmas trees side by side....it was a good one, but off off off topic)
Yes I'm cranky as hell. Rain, sleet, snow and ice all on the same day will do that to a person.
Clearly time to go read a good book. Fortunately I have several right here.