1. to show you are a Cyberian warlord and fully armed electronic ninja;
2. to demonstrate your facility for bad puns on your name;
3. to allow a literary agent (me) to send querier (you) an email.
Silly me, I know.
The idea that perhaps I'd actually want to be able to READ your email address and use it is so five minutes ago.
Hopelessly arcane, that's me. If I was a really DEDICATED agent I'd walk over to your house and introduce myself personally.
Don't think I wouldn't if I had to but "had to" is Thomas Pynchon, and last I looked at this query, you aren't.
So the next time you write me a letter and think you should use:
1. 8 point font
It makes me cranky.
Very very cranky.
When I am cranky I look at really brilliant work (yours) and say "yuckola."
"1. to show you are a Cyberian warlord and fully armed electronic ninja"
I'm stealing that.
Kind of wish I'd read it before Halloween. Spongebob just doesn't pack the costume-contest whallop he once did.
As long as you're in the neighborhood delivering manuscript stuff, you wouldn't mind picking up my dry-cleaning, would you?
Also, I'm in the mood for some Chinese.
And there's a great bakery across the street.
My dog bites. so just leave everything on my doorstep.
How do you manage to make us feel sorry for agents?! ;-)
Some word processing programs automatically turn an email address into a hyperlink with appropriate underlining. The help section will tell you how to turn the dang thing off!
Oh, Bill E. Goat has a question on this. He want's to know if puce is an appropriate font colour for his new book Robin Goat, The Bandit of Central Park.
I am responsible for the above question, but I am NOT responsible for Sha'el's extraneous apostrophe!
Goats KNOW apostrophes, even if Pixies do not!
William E. Goat, III
Dear Mr. Goat:
Quadrapeds who point hooves at their amanuenses*** frequently find themselves with no dinner.
An stray apostrophe is not a catastrophe.
Get back to work. I'm waiting for your thriller: Goat Baby Goat.
**plural form of course.
No dinner! HA! Try asking a Pixie Princess for Steak Dianne, and she'll feed you a nice four course dinner ... hay, sweet corn feed, hay with dried leaves, and leaves. I'd sooner eat your coat! Saayy ... that wasn't your coat was it? If so, I'm sorry.
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