"I became a reader of the exiled books"--Jonathan Lethem

Here's my favorite Jonathan Lethem story.  Long before he won the National Book Critics Circle Award for MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN, or the MacArthur genius grant for being ..well...amazing,
Jonathan Lethem was an author on book tour.

I met him out in the hinterlands when he was touring for AS SHE CLIMBED ACROSS THE TABLE.  I'd read about 30 pages of it.  I loved it. It was full of physics and science and it was hilarious.

I nattered on about physics and various physicist's books I'd loved but Jonathan Lethem didn't have much to say. Well, maybe he's just bored with people talking science to him, or he's tired I thought. No matter.

He signed the book and off I went.

Only as I continued reading did I realize the book is a satire.  All the science is made up stuff. Jonathan Lethem didn't know a quark from a quack.  When I figured that out I laughed so hard at myself I had to go out and buy the rest of his books.

And when I ended up reading MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN about two blocks from the epicenter of the novel, well, that became one of my all time favorite  Why I love Living in NYC moments.

Here's a great interview with a wonderful author about how he works.  There's a series of these at the Daily Beast that are worth your reading time as well.

Question Emporioum: what sells? What doesn't?

You mentioned on the blog that agents cry into shots of JD about What Will Not Sell. The answer may be too long to answer, but if it is not, please tell us What Will Not Sell.

I think we all know that warming over something that was not hot to begin with would be on that list, especially if it is the tenth rehash of the twentieth overdo. They do it in the movies all the time and spend tens of millions, but publishers would not consider spending a few thousand on it, eh? What else? Comments would be welcome 

There is no One True Answer and if there was I'd be on the writers conference lecture circuit charging a filthy amount of lucre for you to find out.

However, almost every editor has a list of books they've loved that have failed. The longer the editor's been in the biz, the longer the list.  The trick is listening carefully as they weep into their shot glass to discern what category those books fall into.

I know bad writing sells.
I know derivative writing sells.
I know stuff that makes me wonder if English is the writer's first language has sold.

The trick is to find work I like and want to read that will also sell. I'm lucky to be working in crime fiction cause I (mostly) like the stuff that sells in this genre. I like it and I can pick it out of the slush pile (mostly.)

I like poetry a lot too.  I can pick what I like but is it good, or will it sell...not something I know.

Same with Westerns, romance, women's fiction, or books about sloths.


The real question you're asking though is  "How can I not waste my time writing something that you can't sell."

There are two answers:
1. Other agents sell things I can't sell. Barbara Poelle and Sorche Fairbank regularly knock my sox off with amazing books  I would have missed.

2. I've sold things other people can't sell.

Write the book you love. Write something that isn't what everyone else is writing. That means you MUST READ YOUR CATEGORY and read it deeply. Know what you love about your category. Know what you don't. Think about your book as part of a larger whole.

Question Emporium: What ho! Wads of cash.

I am a little confused about the “wads of cash” statement. I would  not bring it up except Jessica Faust said one time on her blog that if a book is successful you should be able to pay the light bill one time maybe.

That statement made me wonder how agents stay in business. 15% of diddly doesn’t stack up to the kind of rent I used to pay when I lived in Manhattan. And no, I did not live on Park Avenue, either, although Murray Hill then was not too shabby.

In those days a lot of old ladies used to carry grocery sacks of cash around for the Mob and do well, and guess what? Nobody ever mugged them. It’s been so long since I was in town I don’t know if that career opportunity still exists or not. Giuliani, you know. It would be interesting to know if writers in NY carry grocery sacks around that do not contain groceries. 

Well, we pay our writers by check so I'm thinking the grocery sacks are full of body parts or organic veggies.

But to your question: how do lit agents stay in biz.

The answer to that is backlist.  Backlists that consistently earn royalties aren't going to buy me an apartment in Murray Hill or even the basement of Murray's Cheese, but over time they're going to keep the lights on and the metrocard current. And if you've got 15, 20, 25 of those books, well, then you've got some lovely lolly twice a year.

The books that don't earn royalties have hopefully brought in big advances that ease the pain.

I know some books will sell for $5K. I know some books will sell for $50K.

What I don't know is which books are going to earn out and which books aren't.  Mostly the answer is they aren't.

That means I need to sell mostly for big advances rather than hope for royalties. Thus, the wads of cash comment.

a little Charles Bukowski eye opener for ya

"Ignore that this is an ad for booze: Live True" Dewar's White Label [English] from &Rosàs on Vimeo.

Tuesday morning at the Question Emporium

Suppose I got an offer from a small publishing house that takes unagented submissions but I still have an outstanding query with agent X.  Should I e-mail X and tell her I'll take the offer in Z days if she doesn't respond?  I understand this is standard practice if another agent offers representation but I wasn't sure if the same held true with a small publisher.  And if I should send a note, how should I word it?

Well, you're not going to word it like a ransom note that's for sure!

If you get an offer from a small publisher, the first thing to remember is agents are not going to fall all over themselves to offer representation.  An offer from a small house with a small advance (if you get one at all)  means a lot of work and the risk of no reward. Yes, we all hope the book sells well, but that remains to be seen. 

However.

I've signed authors who arrived with deals in hand.  Sometimes I sold them to the publisher who made that initial offer, sometimes not.  The key element here is whether you've ACCEPTED the offer from the  small publisher.  In one word: DON'T.  Get the offer. Thank the publisher. Say you need to check with the agents looking at the book and you'll respond within X days.  7-10 is about the limit on that.

Then you email the agents looking at your full or partial.  Mention you have an offer.  Ask if they will reply to you within a specified time period. Key word there: ask. Don't tell them reply within seven days or you'll kill the kitten take the offer.

And under NO circumstances do you accept the offer from the small publisher before you do this.  Once you've accepted the offer it's well near impossible for me to go back and clean up the mess you've made.  And you will have if you've accepted the offer without negotiating any deal points or seeing the actual contract.

In the course of my career I've seen some contracts from small publishers that make me weep with despair.  Ones that take copyright. Ones that take film rights. Ones that don't mention what laws govern the contract (contract law varies by state.)  Ones that don't mention territories. Or define out of print. Or mention out of print.

In other words, contracts by people who don't know what they're doing.

If you have an offer from a small publisher, and you can't secure representation from an agent, you still need help.  IP lawyers who work by the hour can be useful. The Author's Guild can offer help.  There are several books on publishing contracts out there that can guide you.  Remember, everything is negotiable (mostly) and it's better not to be published, than published under terms that can wreck your career.

Bouchercon recap

Bouchercon is the world's foremost mystery fan convention (sorry other ones, Bcon IS the cat's pjs)

I've attended many of these cons over the years and each year I learn something. The year I went to Indianapolis I learned not to take any work.  I was gone from the festivities for so long (working on a line edit) that my clients sent a recon team to make sure I was still alive.

In San Francisco we all learned to make sure the bar would be open past ten.

This year we really learned the hard way that walking uphill to the convention center from the closest hotel was a bad idea.  Several regular attendees who have limited mobility were restricted from full full participation and that's so not-cool.  Even otherwise able-bodied folks who'd had injuries and were using canes during recuperation found the back and forth to be very difficult.


And I'll probably back down on this one but right now I'm forswearing attending any Bcon that doesn't have a hotel attached to the convention center.  Not being able to run up to my room for some down time, or to drop a bag o'books, or check my email ended up being exhausting to the point I had to miss a big chunk of Saturday.


And someone always has to learn the hard way that getting drunk and trash talking an author is a fast way to land in purgatory forever.  One thing I know from attending a bunch of these is that there may be 3000 people there, but we all know each other. (This wasn't me or any of the Fabulosity)


There were some real highlights as well:

Katrina Holm moderating the "Don't Ask Me Why: my characters have a life of their own" panel was pure joy.  She'd clearly spent time doing careful preparation. She was not only familiar with the authors, she was familiar with most of their books. She asked interesting and innovative questions.  At the end of the panel I wanted to buy and read ALL the books by the authors.  That's gold for an author.

Dana Haynes doing an author choice segment on getting from start to finish in a novel was eye-opening.  I know Dana's a talented writer: he's my client!  But I'd never seen him teach a class and I'd really never heard him talk about his writing process.  At the close of the 30 minutes I'd learned more than a few things and I have made it my mission to get him in front of more writers.  He was great!  If you don't believe me, ask any of the 20 or so people who were there too.

Josh Stallings.  My pal Chris Holm plied me with liquor on the first night and mentioned Josh's memoir and his novels.  I just happened to see Josh pass by in the hall at the end of a panel the next day. I waylaid him and mentioned Chris's rave review.  Josh had a copy of his memoir which I was glad to take and read.  It gave me great pleasure to flummox him enough that he could not remember his email address.  Tormenting writers...the highlight of my day.

Laura Lippman.  One of the stars of the mystery writing community of course, but you'd never know it from hanging out with her. She's fun and approachable and genuine. I was talking to her about shoes (of course) with two other people. A fan came by, paused briefly, then turned away. Laura immediately reached out to reel her back and include her in the conversation.  I admire Laura tremendously. It doesn't hurt that she's an amazing writer to boot!


Gilbert King. Oh my dear godiva, I may have sprung a lung shrieking with delight to meet him.  Gilbert King is the author of Devil in the Grove and if you haven't read it, go buy it immediately. I think every person in America should read this book.  I may have said that so often this weekend that people think I have a stake in that book but I don't.  Farley Chase is Gil's agent and he's brilliant.


Charles Benoit.  A bunch of us were lounging on the bar couches when I spied a man who was clearly a writer but sitting by himself.  Are you here for Bouchercon I inquired. Well, yes he was.  And what is your name I asked? Charles Benoit. Well! I recognize that name and readers of this blog should too.  "Did you write a book called YOU?" I asked.  No sooner had he said yes than the estimable Brooks Sherman leaped to his feet, thrust an elbow in my path, shook Charles Benoit's hand and extolled the virtues of YOU for five minutes.  Wait! I shrieked, WAIT! I loved that book TOO!  No matter, I was roadkill on this lovefest. Those two became bosom buddies and I was left to swill my drink. 


But the moment that was utterly surreal tops it all. A total stranger walked up and hugged me.  Now, I"m not sure if blog readers know this but my friends and clients all do: Do.Not.Hug.The.Shark is a standard practice here.  I don't like it, and I don't do it.  To have a total stranger come up and embrace me was so odd that I thought perhaps she'd confused me with someone else.  Next year, I'm bringing a purse size cattle prod just in case.

And next year is in Long Beach, California.  Time to register, make your hotel reservations and clear your calendar!

At some point we left the bar

but no one is sure when.



Bouchercon winds to a close today.

The Albany gendarmes are glad. The bartenders are too.

Well, good morning to you too!

I'm at Bouchercon with 3000 other rabid mystery fans, and pretty much not thinking about anything other than books, booze, and trying to find out who decided Albany was a good location for a conference.

This morning I had a couple extra minutes before my first breakfast meeting (early breakfast meeting, breakfast meeting, brunch meeting--rack 'em and stack 'em!)

I thought I'd check in on the outside world to see what was going on.

Here's what I found when I googled the New York Times

Turns out quite a few things changed while I've been away!
















(check the right side of the image. It's the Wikipedia listing for the NYT---or was until they saw the "edit")

View to a kill!

we're in Albany at Bouchercon 2013.

So far, I've managed to stay out of jail, out of most kinds of trouble, and not mortify my boon companion in crime Brooks Sherman TOOO much.

However, the event has just started.

More to come!

(The picture is the view from my hotel room)

Thursday morning at the Question Emporium

If my novel has two protagonists, is it OK to include both in the query? Both are equally important and have equally high stakes. The novel is told from both POV's, switching back and forth from chapter to chapter. I've gotten some feedback (not agent) telling me to narrow the query down to one character to keep it simpler, but I've also heard the opposite.  

There is no right answer here. There's only what works.  The purpose of a query is to entice the reader (in this case an agent) to read more pages.  Does your query do this? If it does, it's effective. If it doesn't it's ineffective.

Rules about query letters are to help you avoid the pitfalls that can diminish effectiveness.  Rules don't create an effective query; rules help you avoid being ineffective.  It's a subtle distinction but it's important.

It's a distinction I hear a lot about over at QueryShark.  "Show us what works!" queriers write.  Well, ok, I'll try but honestly what works is often times not something another querier can repeat.  There's no formula.

And remember: take advice from the people who are READING your queries, not anyone else.  I see bad advice from writers, and editors, and god help us all MFA professors about how to write queries.  Some of it's so bad I want to starting knocking heads with a cluestick.  There are lots of agents out there talking about how they read queries and things to avoid. Pay attention to them. 

And how many antagonists do you have? Maybe you focus there.  Try something new and different. Good luck!

Wednesday Question Emporium

How frustrated should I be that I couldn't place my book with an agent or publisher but now that I've published it as an e-book on Amazon it gets reviews like, "One of the best mystery books I've read"? Should I feel more or less frustrated than I feel already?

Don't feel frustrated.
Be glad there are ways to get your book in front of clearly discerning readers and away from the obviously taste-free agents and publishers of this world, who wake up in the morning with one goal in mind: thwarting your creative genius.

Ok, shark snarl aside, you're looking at apples and asking why the orange vendor didn't buy in bulk.

My job is not to find good books. My job is to find books I can  place at a large publishing house for wads of cash. I pass on very good books every single day maybe even yours.

The market is a fickle beast, and publishers and editors go through phases of what they want to buy just like everyone else.  There are lots of VERY good books that I can't sell.  I usually pass on them with a reminder to query other agents. Maybe it's me. Maybe another agent can sell it.  But when agents rally round the bar and exchange war stories, one  common topic is what we're having a hard time selling.

If you're writing books  people like to read, more power to you.  Continue to work to develop your craft and build your audience.  The best way to show us how wrong we were to say no is to spell it out in hundred dollar bills. Satisfying too.

Got a question?

If you have a general publishing related question, I periodically answer those here on the blog.  To submit a question, send me an email: JetReidLiterary at gmail etc. Put "Question Emporium" in the subject line.

Questions need to appeal to the blog readership and be of general interest.  Thus, nothing about particulars that apply only to you.

Not all questions can be answered. Generally I'll let you know if your question will be and when it will be posted.

If you want to see what kinds of questions I've answered in the past, click "Question Emporium" in the "blog posts by category" on the left hand side of the blog.

Monday morning at the Question Emporium

 If I submitted a modified excerpt of an unpublished novel to a short story writing competition, and if it were to get selected and published, would it hurt the novel's chances of getting picked up by a publisher? Is it a different story if it wins, rather than merely reaching 2nd-25th 'runner-up' status?

No.
Yes.

The more ways you can be editorially published while you're looking for an agent, the better.  By editorially I mean your work is vetted by an editor. Contests sure. Magazines be they online or print. It can't hurt and it might help. I regularly read Alfred Hitchcock Mystery magazine looking for fresh voices and interesting writers.

Plus there's a lot to be said for periodically changing up what you're writing.  Working on a short story as a break from the novel might help you see things in a new light.  I'm a great believer in moving furniture for the same reason.

Or as Dad would say to Mum "where do you want the piano this week?"

Have a lovely day of sloth-you've earned it

Two Men Have Words: A Writer's Life

Relentlessly readable, highly atmospheric, sharply and often arrestingly written—Barron’s prose style resembles, by turns, a high-flown Jim Thompson mixed with a pulp Barry Hannah—and situated in a dizzying assortment of precision-built worlds, Barron’s productions (30 pages on average) more nearly resemble novellas than tales. 

--Beyond Black: Laird Barron and the evolution of cosmic horror (Adrian Van Young: Slate 9/6/13)

Now, THIS is interesting

A post at GoodEReader.com shows results of a survey of British travellers: they'd rather haul paper books on holiday than an e-reader (not just sort of either: 71%!)

The full post.**


This is fascinating! You'd think the most logical place to use an e-reader would be on holiday. It has  all the advantages: you can take a lot of books without weighing down a suitcase; you can take a variety of titles.  And yet, there it is: they "like the feel of a real book"

Well, me too.

I had a Kindle for reading manuscripts. When it broke or wore out after three years, I didn't replace it.  I actually went back to reading manuscripts on my laptop and editing on paper as often now as I do on screen.

And I read paper books. I have a gazillion e-titles somewhere on my laptop. I've read about three of them.

For a long time I thought I was just an old fogey.  (Get off my publishing lawn you electronic urchins!) Maybe there are a lot more of us out there.


Are you reading ebooks more than paper?
What do you pack on vacation?

**hat tip to ShelfAwareness for the link!

We will never forget

How could you not know that!?

This past weekend the evil overlords of the MTA decided the L-train would not be running to my stop.  Shuttle buses would be provided.

Okedokey, I've done this, I know how this works.

I'm on the street corner brushed and polished toting my bag o'tricks at 7:45am. Saturday mind you. 7:45am.

There are 20 people waiting with me.  FIVE shuttle buses roll by before one comes that has any squeeze-in room at all.  I get on, hang from the ceiling with my special Spider-Man shark gloves and off we go.

At the end of the line, the bus stops.  A few people sort of start to get off but a lot just stand in the doorway.  I say "This is the end of the line. Get off the bus."  My tone might be three shades on the wrong side of "how the hell can you NOT know this." Obviously, the bus is at the Lorimer stop, and this is where the train starts running again. It's always like this.

We all clamber off, dive down the subway stairs, get on the train.  It's nowhere near packed (which gives you an idea of how many people take the train: five busloads of people and the trains feel almost empty.)

The train doors close, and off we go.

At the very next stop, I see a train across the platform. Aha! I know this trick. The train on the other side goes back and forth to Manhattan, while the train on my side shuttles between Lorimer and Bedford.  I remember this from the last time we did this little dance.

So I face the doors, and when they open, I leap out, zip across the platform, grab an empty seat and pat myself on the back for being such a smart, savvy New York train rider.  Yes oh yes, I am the cat's jammies AND a bag of chips.

Except the train I'm now on doesn't move. The doors don't close. No one else is getting ON this train.

And across the platform, on the train I just exited comes the recorded announcement "Next stop Manhattan."

And I watch the train pull out of the station in the direction I want to be going.

Sharks!  I leap off the train.
The train I've just exited closes its doors and heads off in the direction I don't want to go.

I sit on the platform for about three minutes before it dawns on me that I am now waiting for the train I just exited.  It will go one stop, and then reverse direction. Only one track is functional at the Lorimer stop. When it comes back to the station where I'm now sitting, it will be full of the people who got off the next round of shuttle buses.  If I'd simply stayed on that train, I'd have a seat.

How could I not have known that?

I could almost hear God laughing at the very sharp lesson in hubris I'd needed AGAIN.  Those folks on the bus at the last shuttle stop would never know it but man I felt bad for that tone of voice I'd used.

And as always this is a reminder to me that things I think are obvious (how to query, how publishing works or doesn't, how to format a manuscript) are not all that obvious until you've tried doing it a couple times.  And even then, sometimes you can outsmart yourself.

Have you learned any lessons repeatedly?

Best advice I've seen in a while

I recently clicked a link from @agent_ayesha (Ayesha Pande) that she posted with "Yes, yes, and yes. Read this please, dear aspiring literary fiction writers."

She was oh-so-right.

Here's one section of the article with my strikeouts.

Your Job
You, of course, are a writer. Let’s say you are just starting to send out. You are thinking, Am I any good? Will this make people I love believe I’m worthwhile? Is that third paragraph chapter unnecessary as R said in workshop, but I still like it, and if I keep it, and my story novel gets published then that will show R, but what if R is right after all? Is this my first step to fame and glory? Am I a genius? Am I in fact too good for this magazine agent I’m sending to or not good enough?  Am I an idiot? Will my parents stop suggesting other jobs I could do given my education? Will strangers want to sleep with me because of my prose? Etc. etc.

None of this is of interest to the editor. agent. Remember the editor’s agent's deepest wish: Send something perfect for us, please.

So your job is to help the editor agent by sending work that is developed, complete, thoroughly revised, and—of great importance—appropriate for the magazine. (Not as applicable to agent lists as it is to magazine subs)

To do that last part of your job well, you have to read the magazines.


Yes, you do.

Not long ago, within a few days, three aspiring writers stopped me (in the office, in the parking lot, and at an airport gate) to ask: “Where should I send my story which is over 20,000 words long?” “Where should I send my work where it will be accepted as fast as possible? The agent I approached about my novel says I have to have a track record.” “What magazine likes grown-up fables that are a little weird?”

They were asking for a shortcut. It’s natural to want one, when you feel small in a big unknown world, and impatient, wanting results immediately.  But I said, to each: “You can’t expect to be a professional if you don’t do your own homework.”

Here's the entire article. I read it and I'd like to have it be required reading for every author.  I might just start linking to it in my redirection emails (née rejection emails)


Would this article have helped you when you were starting out?