"Nothing can save you"

I'm an amateur writer at best, but what do you do when a beta reader not only rips into your manuscript (which is fine) but also criticizes you as a writer? My last beta reader did just that.

The whole problem stemmed from a question I wasn’t able to answer to her satisfaction. To her, it seemed improbable that there could be humans on other planets. I told her there were theories that I wasn’t willing to go into detail about because 1.) it didn’t have anything to do with the story and 2.) I really hadn’t thought to expand on that particular detail. She persisted in getting an answer so I gave her a few theories.

This is a small portion of what she said in her 2,000-word email reply:

“Now, b/c my reaction was so strong, I decided to wait until I could discuss this with other writers… When I asked the group what they thought about this attitude the nicest ones responded the way I did. Both professors/authors gave me a look that screamed I’d just blasphemed the entire field of writing.”

“You aren’t ready to write. You need to scrap what you’ve written… and take a basic creative writing college course. The one lady suggested hers (and she’s a great teacher), but since you’re in GA I told her that wasn’t possible.”

“You need at least a bachelor’s intro level of understanding, if not a masters.”

“And if this isn’t something you can agree with then I’m afraid there really isn’t anything that can save your story.”

After reading her reply, I felt betrayed. I never gave her permission to share my manuscript or emails. To make things worse, she claimed to only have my best interest at heart.


I gave a polite response and thanked her for her help despite how I felt. I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but this one stings.

Oh sweet mother of godiva! First, pour yourself a stiff drink. You not only earned it, you deserve it. Second, erase that For Your Own Gooder's name from your email list, your contact list, your "friend" list, your list of people you will ever ask for anything again.

She's quite clearly someone who takes great satisfaction in making people feel small.

There's a word for that...actually there are several words for that but let's just use this simple one: vile.

This Vile Person doesn't know how to critique.
She doesn't know how to help a writer.
And she has swathed herself in righteousness to cover her vile, mean-spirited self.

It's too bad you can't tattoo her in some way so other writers will not suffer at her hand.


Let's unpack this a little more: You said "To her, it seemed improbable that there could be humans on other planets."

Unless you are writing non-fiction, you can have cats on Mars, you can have cats solving crimes, and  cats can have publicists and lawyers. 

It's a novel: YOU CAN MAKE IT ALL UP!

Now, the real question here is could this particular reader, vile as she is, suspend disbelief for the notion of humans on other planets.  If she could not, that might be a weakness in the story, but you'll notice she didn't know to say that. She tried to get you to justify an artistic choice.  That's like asking why Picasso chose blue instead of purple.

Second, she passed along cruel and unhelpful comments to bolster her position. That's Not Only Do I Think This, All My Friends Think So Too. It's the behaviour of a third grade bully. Again, not the conduct of a self-actualized adult or even a person who understands the role of a beta reader.

This is my favorite part of her reply to you: The one lady suggested hers (and she’s a great teacher).
This is a textbook example of someone you don't want reviewing your work: somoene who has an agenda for "fixing" what you've done wrong. I'm sure you've heard of the "agents" who tell you they can help you fix things; here's a little side editorial service they run. (I should also note it's a poorly written sentence.)

All of us who read pages either for a living, or as a service to fellow writers, have come across people who need more help than they realize. You may fall into this category (although I have doubts given that your email is pretty damn cogent.)   If you do, a beta reader might say something like "it's hard to get into the story because there are a lot of mistakes that bring me out of the story." Or, "I was never able to fully believe that humans could be on other planets." If something is truly terrible (and yes, I've seen that) you simply step back from being a beta reader and say "I'm sorry, I'm unable to read this for you."

It's clear to me that Vile enjoys being the arbiter of what Is and Is Not the One True Way. People like that are zealots. Zealotry is the antithesis of artistry.

I have but one question and it is this: how the ever loving hell did you get mixed up with this person? The answer to that is important because the takeaway here is that you chose poorly in selecting a beta reader. You MUST figure out how this happened so as to avoid repeating it. 

There is no way her words won't continue to cut at you. Words do that. It will take a while to stop thinking about what she said. One way to do that (and you do need to stop that) is give yourself a mantra to say every time you think of her, and a specific thing to divert your mind to instead. (I use the rosary for this; when I think of something that unsettles me I recite one Hail Mary and then turn my mind to something else. It takes practice but it works.)

Here's your takeaway: Not only was she wrong, she's a toxic waste of human space, and you deserve better. Your job now is to figure out what got you ensnarled with her so as to avoid doing this again.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope that you'll be able to connect with better readers soon.

I have some other suggestions on dealing with Vile.

Query Question: so, what's your batting average?

I've been reading a small debate on a writing forum. Someone stated that only 50-60% of first novels (represented by an agent) actually get picked up by a publisher. Their source is an agent's blog post. Another person questioned whether that agent's estimates are accurate. I'm sure some agents have different rates, this is supposed to be a rough average.

Is it true that even if someone signs with an agent, their odds of successfully getting a publisher for that book are only 50-60%? At first glance, that seemed a low figure. I'm afraid it really is accurate. But I'm curious about your thoughts on this. I want to recall a post by you about this (though maybe it didn't give actual figures?), but I can't find it again now.

You're missing two key pieces of information: time period, and number of books.

First, if an agent hasn't sold a novel within a day of signing the client, that's not a problem. A month isn't a problem either. Six months either, particularly in this acquisition climate. I've got several novels I've had on submission for longer than six months right now. There are a couple strategic reasons, and a couple just have editors who are backlogged as hell right now.

So it's entirely possible that I won't sell half my novels on submission within six months.

However.
I have sold books that I've had on my list for nine years.

And let's all remember that Philip Spitzer, an agent I revere, had a James Lee Burke  novel on submission for something like seventeen years before selling it.

The amount of time is hugely important for assessing something like this.

And here's the other factor: if I can't sell the novel I signed a client for, generally s/he's going to write a second or a third.  We'll hit on one of them, we hope, eventually, but it makes the stats look bad if you're only considering the first novel an author writes.

But, more important here, your question tells me you're having doubts. Stop it.

As a writer, you must be determined to be the exception to any statistic that says you will fail. You must be willing to see that bleak truth, and refuse to let it apply to you.  There's a lot to be said for vision and tenacity as keys to success.

Don't focus on statistics right now. Focus on your writing.

Query Question: what if my subject is "unpublishable"

I just received your rejection letter from you which is no surprise after receiving 56 other rejection emails. By this point I don't feel anything and I guess that is okay. But it makes me question something that has been in my head ever since I finished the novel. What if the writing is good but the subject is unpublishable?

My novel deals with the mass shooting in a community college, and while I've seen other novels deal with the issue I would guess that the subject itself is controversial. While googling the subject I just discovered the story about a Stephen King novel that I didn't even knew existed: Rage.

Originally published under the pseudonym of Richard Bachman, the book has been linked to several shootings and even the author wanted it out of print which is something that I didn't know when I started writing the novel. So my question is: Are there subjects like these that act like a drawing of Mohammed for publishers? Is there a list out there?(1)  Or it really just depends on the literary agent?(2)

I was thinking in putting my query to the query shark to refine but I guess no matter how much I refine a query, they would probably end up rejecting it.(3)   

If the only book you can find about school shootings is Rage by Richard Bachman, you haven't done the most rudimentary of research. I can think of several books on this topic off the top of my head, no Googlemonster required, one of which won the Booker Prize in 2003. And if you do google the topic, you'll find lots of them.

So, it's not the topic. There are lots of books out there about this.  It's the treatment of the topic or more likely, the writing.

And no, agents don't keep a list of things that are unpublishable (2).

And yes, agents have particular likes and dislikes (3)

And if you assume rejection (4) you should stop writing now. Rejection should motivate you to work harder, not quit.

 

Blog post follow up!

Remember this post from March 2014 from a blog reader who had an offer from a small press?

Here's the rest of the story:

About a year ago, a small press was very interested in publishing my  first novel. I asked you if I still needed an agent.

You said, "Yes" but that I wouldn't find one if I was going with this small press and that what I needed was a good lawyer.

Fast forward a bit and I received the official offer and a pointer to their contract. I was hot to go. I'm over a certain age and wanted to be young enough to savor the joy of my first book in print.

Remembering your advice, I found a literary contracts lawyer (at a very reasonable price through California Lawyers for the Arts).

We went through the contract a couple of times, I made notes, wrote a letter (all vetted by him) and sent it off. Within minutes I received an  indignant letter saying the offer was withdrawn. How dare I tamper with  the contract, blah, blah, blah. Yikes.

It took about five minutes to move from remorse and mortification to relief. I had dodged a huge bullet. Even if I had violated some rule of protocol, it was clear that we were wildly incompatible.

This providential dope slap was a blessing.
- I was jolted into being patient. I needed to take the time to make sure I had the right fit, agented or not.
- Someone else (not immediate family) loved my novel enough to publish it. That validation gave me confidence.
- Big aha - I needed an agent. This publishing thing is tricky stuff.  Whether it's the Ts & Cs or following the right protocol, I didn't know and didn't particularly want to know how to navigate all that myself.

I reworked the query a bit, polished some pages, and made standardized packages of materials (query + nothing extra, query + first five pages, query + first chapter, query + synopsis + first chapter...) so that there was less emotional investment to sending out a query: identify a good agent prospect, tweak materials, send out, done.

And now I do have an agent. Of course, I have quickly learned that there is no slam dunk to landing a publisher just because I have an agent. That journey continues while I continue to write new material.

Even though consulting a lawyer cost me the contract, that was still excellent advice! There are worse things than ending up with the wrong publisher.

I am delighted to hear that you dodged this bullet and ended up with an agent I admire and respect (readers, I redacted the name for privacy)

Any publisher who takes umbrage at negotiating a contract is not a publisher you want to work with.

There are publishers that don't budge on boilerplates, and others that don't negotiate much at all--the problem here is that the publisher got mad when an author asked for changes...as though that was somehow an insult.  This is after all a business, not the Roland Park Ladies Tea.