Her Grace, The Duchess of Yowl: Ring up the Legal Beagle, I intend to sue these scofflaws at once!
Me: [Dialing 212-BIT-EYOU] At once your grace, but what is the problem here?
DoY: Look at this menu on the television screen!
Me: [peering] No Animal Planet?
DoY: No you furless twit, look again
Me: These are home and fashion shows Your Grace. For people who like to decorate their homes and sew clothes.
DoY: They certainly do not have MY permission to discuss me while they do so!
Me: Your Grace, I'm not sure they even know who you are, let alone are discussing you.
DoY: Everyone knows me. Everyone discusses me.
Me: [aside] I believe we have our next candidate for president here.
Your Grace, back to the menu, what are you reading that has gotten you incensed?
DoY: Look! Right there! DIY! Duchess I am of Yowl. ME! They're using me to promote their show! I am suing! Where is that lawyer??
Me: [hanging up phone] Your Grace, That's D eye Y not D oh Y. It stands for Do It Yourself. Not Duchess of Yowl.
DoY: you mean they are NOT talking about me?
Me:No Your Grace, I'm sorry, they are not.
DoY: Ring my publicist!