Query Question: unusual prologue

My novel has an unusual prologue and I'm wondering how (or if) to present it when I get requests for pages.

My novel involves a sitcom, and the first chapter takes place during the taping of an episode. The book begins with four pages of the teleplay for that episode. These pages have a photographic look to ensure they are understood as intentional and not weird screenplay formatting in a novel.

This four-page scene sets the reader up with what's supposed to happen on stage. Then the actual chapter shows how that all goes wrong.

I know a prospective agent isn't going to care how well I can write sitcom pages, but how well I can write a novel. So my instinct is to never submit the pages (which can't even be pasted into the text of an email, as many agents require). But to read the first chapter without seeing the teleplay pages feels like watching the second act of "Noises Off" after skipping the first. I worry that the comedy pay-off doesn't pop without the setup.

How would you suggest I handle this?

Exactly as you did here. In your query, you tell the agent that the first four pages are the screenplay and the first chapter is how everything goes horribly wrong. The reference to Noises Off! is good because I can instantly see what you mean.

Email formatting won't allow proper script formatting as you've pointed out.  BUT you CAN simply change the format and label the first four pages TELEPLAY and then write it as dialogue with stage directions.

The point of a query is to entice an agent to read the manuscript. No agent is going to let a little thing like format stand in the way of reading a good idea, as long as the format is clean and legible.

When the time comes to submit a full manuscript, you might inquire about submitting as a PDF. I generally do not like PDFs because I can't make notes on the actual manusript or mark anything with track changes. Also, most editors I work with require mss in .doc style format so it's better to get that at the query stage rather than discover the author has no clue about that format later in the game.

This is yet another instance where meeting agents in a face to face situation will be a good thing. Actual pages will solve this problem and get you to the real question: is this a novel I want to read.

Query Question: Query POV

Is it acceptable to write a query using two different POVS? I wrote a novel about a serial killer in the time of Jim Crow. The way the novel works is that it flips back and forth between the killer on the hunt and the detectives trying to catch him. Originally, when I wrote the novel, I wrote it in 3rd person, but then when I placed the novel on the writer's blogs, readers have commented that it would flow better if I wrote the killer's part in 1st person. So now the way the novel works is that the killer's part is in 1st while the part of the detectives is in 3rd. I wonder if I could write the query the same way. I was thinking about using this as a query.

Don't.

And NO, you can't write a query in ANY POV other than your own. Therefore, that means you can NOT write a query in two different POVs unless you (plural) are Siamese twins or un-integrated multiple personalities, each contributing to the book.

A query is about the book. It's not the book.

Thus you will talk about your characters and what's at stake for them, rather than having the characters speak at all.

Do NOT try to be clever or gimmicky in a query.

Do NOT fall prey to the siren call of "I bet agents see that same stuff all the time, I'll be DIFFERENT."

I'll tell you what we don't see nearly often enough: a concise, enticing description of the main character and what's at stake for him/her as the plot unfolds.

Dare to be good, not clever.

Query Question: introducing characters

I've seen a lot of queries where the writer starts off with the main character's full name. "Dr. Felixandro Buttonweezer III was just your average shark researcher until..." Then they're called by nickname for the rest of the query. "Felix must battle through Character Soup and Plot Salad before he's free." I can understand people doing this if the character's title or family name is important, but I see it all the time. Is there some grand unwritten rule about this? Should we just start off with Felix if we're going to call him that anyway? Or is it one of those "whatever works for the rhythm and tone" problems? 

I've seen this a lot too, and it doesn't stand out as something I'd suggest be changed.  Thus it's one of those "whatever works for the rhythm and tone" items.

However, there are a couple things writers do when introducing characters that do drive me batshark crazy:

(1) Dr. Felixandro "Felix" Buttonweezer III

If you're going to call him  Felix, do it. If you're going to use his full name, do that. But do NOT combine them.  That's newspaper style writing, and you're not writing an article for the SharkVille Times. You're writing a letter.


(2) Dr. Felixandro Buttonweezer III, 34, was just your average shark researcher

Again, adding Felix's age after his name is like newspaper writing. If his age is important, tell us when it's important.  Dr. Felix Buttonweezer was only 34 when Mrs. Buttonweezer started planning for his retirement.

In one place it's part of the story, in another it's just an isolated fact with no context.  You do NOT want isolated facts with no context in a query. Every piece of information should be part of the narrative. It should be there for a reason.



(3) Felix and Felicia were twins. The Buttonweezer clan thought twins were bad luck.

In a query, which is very short form, and often skimmed,  you want to make rock solid certain that your reader isn't confused. Here, there is confusion because we don't know if Felix and Felicia are part of the Buttonweezer clan.

This is how you fix that: Felix and Felicia Buttonweezer were twins, something the Buttonweezer clan thought was bad luck.  Even though you use the Buttonweezer name twice in a sentence, it's CLEAR. Clarity is the goal.

Query Question: fonts for backstory

In 2005, Elizabeth Kostova had success with her vampire novel, The Historian, a book in which the past/backstory was in set in italics. How often do literary agents see manuscripts so formatted, and do you get any gut feelings, presentiments, or intuitions when you do?

Often enough, and it makes me nuts.

The book you read with the italics was published. It was NOT the manuscript form.

The industry standard for manuscripts is TNR or Courier 12pt. No italics. No using different fonts for inner thoughts, IM texts, or notes passed under the table.

If you need to set off chunks of the manuscript as backstory you mark it with a date that clearly distinguishes it from the present day narrative. Example:

1942
Felix Buttonweazer's teddy bear had seen better days.

Italic is suitable ONLY for small bits of texts: inner thoughts, IM texts or notes passed under the table.

And don't underline in place of italics.


The ONLY exception to this is if you are sending a manuscript to a place that has different, specific guidelines. You will be able to identify those places because they will have something called Submission Guideline and it will say "send all manuscripts in Comic San Serif" and you will do that.

Query Question: The first 50 pages

We had a request for 50 pages. The pages end in a better place at about page 53 (12 font). We know not to send more, however, would changing the font to 11.5 from 12 be okay? The agent's site didn't specify 11 or 12 and I have seen both sizes. What should we do? 

What an illuminating question, and by this I mean, illuminating for me, not you. I always wondered why manuscripts showed up in a weird font and 11.5 point. I assumed it was a platform conversion problem.

NOW I see it's clever little hands trying to be smarter than my Format key.

When you send something in ANYTHING other than Times New Roman 12pt font, I immediatly convert to that.

Often I end up with more pages than I asked for. I don't care.

When you send in a font like Courier I end up with FEWER pages than requested. Again, I don't care, but you should. If I ask for ten pages and you end up sending seven you are asking seven pages to do the work of ten. (Your pages will be unionizing soon if you keep doing that, and rightfully so)


Here's what you need to know: An agent says "send 50 pages" but what that means is "don't send the whole novel" and/or "don't send too little." Send enough so that I can see what you're doing here.


If the best place to end is on page 53, send 53 pages.

DO NOT SEND a cover sheet.
Don't send acknowledgment pages.
Don't send a page dedicated to "Chapter One and an epigraph"

Start where the first chapter starts. In an effort to "follow the guidelines" don't make an agent nuts: Don't break a sentence or a paragraph EVER;
Don't break a chapter if you can help it.
UNLESS you have a natural break in the chapter that lends itself to an ending.


 And don't go haywire on your font: TNR 12 is the gold standard.


I sometimes get the idea that querying writers think agents are like the old style compulsories judges in figure skating. Those judges sometimes got down on the ice and measured the accuracy of figures the skaters were required to complete.

 Agents are not like that. Querying is more like the interpretive section of the competiton. We expect your technical skills are up to par and we want to see what you bring to the program.  We're not measuring your figure 8s and not counting your pages. You on the other hand are not falling on your asterisk and sliding off the cliff.