Wednesday, August 18, 2021

Waiting for the bear to leave results

 

You rose to new heights on this one.

Truly, a very demented bunch of readers on this blog.

I knew we were destined to be friends!

 

 

Here are the ones that really stood out in a very competitive field.

 

 

Kregger

 

    "Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    It's 1709 miles to Chicago, the truck is out of gas, I'm holding: a twinkie, a bullet, and a rifle.

 

    I picked a helluva time to become a vegan.

 

    Did I mention I'm wearing sunglasses?"

 

 

Aphra Pell

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away

 

    Hoping he can't smell me.

    Hoping he can't smell the body in the trunk.

 

 

Brent Salish

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. I could drive off – he’s big, but not eat-an-F250 big – but I’d promised Helena that no matter what happened, I wouldn’t leave her on the ice.

 

 

Claire Bobrow

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    Got himself a bear perm and a bad attitude chewing on that cable. Now my truck won’t start.

 

    Stupid Tesla.

 


 

BrianH

 

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    I turn to Lenny. All that’s left is an arm. I pull his door shut and smile to myself.

 

 

 

 

Kate Larkindale

 

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. He's licking his muzzle to clean the crumbs of Alfredo from his fur. I always knew my husband was a crumb.

 

 

 

TJB

    Me? I’m sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. I think about speeding things along. But, I can’t afford to leave any evidence behind.

 

Johnell

    "Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away."

    Still, of all the honeymoons, this one could be the easiest to...forget. So long as bears eat bones too.

 

 

 

And here are my top choices

Leslie

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    More important, someone on Twitter is wrong about something so I must correct them while I wait for help!

 

Ash Complin

    Me? I’m sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    I don't get it. We had our fun. Why do Grindr matches in Yukon villages get so clingy?

 

Beth Carpenter

    Me? I’m sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. Really hoping he doesn’t have an account with ACME, because if a giant can opener gets delivered, I’m toast.

 

Michael Seese

    Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

 

    I doubt he will.

 

    It's a really nice truck. He never shoulda left the keys in it.

 

Panda in Chief

    "Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away.

    The wind is gently rocking me to sleep....

    Oh...wait...that's not the wind."

 

 

Five top choices even though there are only four books. There were three, but I finished My Lovely Wife while I was waiting for you!

 


 


If you're one of the five, drop a line and let me know which book you prefer (and maybe 2nd and 3rd choice if another winner is more nimble on the Send button). Include your mailing address please!

 

 My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing has been claimed.

A Prince and a Spy by Rory Clement has been claimed.


 

 

 

 

 

19 comments:

Casual-T said...

Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. Still in disbelief I missed the shark's challenge, yesterday. But to be fair, who ever heard of Flash Fiction TUESDAY?

NLiu said...

Thanks for the writing contest, Janet! I've missed them.

(Btw, after your recommendation, I sent my dad "Owls of the Eastern Ice" for Christmas and he loved it. Alas that my sneaky holiday read of his copy has been delayed by covid.)

My favourite entry was Claire Bobrow's. Bear perm! Ha!

Karen McCoy said...

I'm sorry I missed this one! What fun. Great entries, everyone.

Kregger said...

Way fun. I've missed these.
Congrats to the finalists!

BrianH said...

Thanks for the fun, Janet! I just got home from two months hiking. Few things make sense in the urban world right now, but morbidly silly mini-fiction? That's always going to hit the spot.

Congrats to the winners!

Leslie said...

Thank you for the fun contest, Janet - and for actually liking my entry!

That's enough of a prize for me. And as I'm hopelessly behind in my writing (so any non-related reading is getting relegated to a side pile for a while), I happily step out of the way so that the other 4 can collect their prizes.

Congrats to everyone who shared an entry - they were all hilariously brilliant! Which is what I've come to expect herejavascript:void(0)

Claire Bobrow said...

I've missed these contests. Congrats, finalists -- the entries cracked me up! Thanks for the fun challenge, Janet!!

And thank you NLiu :-)

Kate Larkindale said...

Thanks for a fun challenge! I've missed these.

Beth Carpenter said...

So much fun! I loved every one of these. Thanks, Janet. I'm thrilled!

Miles O'Neal said...

Ugh. I meant to play!

These are good, but one of the best threw me off. A truck with a trunk?



Me? I'm sitting in a truck eight miles from the Arctic Ocean waiting for a bear to go away. I just hope he leaves enough of that walrus for me to make a blubber fire and cook the rest. Why did I trust my ex when she said she fixed the fuel gauge?

Katja said...

I really liked Kate Larkindale's.

Timothy Lowe said...

Man, you go off on a trip to do one little high peak and when you come back you find out you missed all the real bear action. Nice job everyone!

Colin Smith said...

Congrats to the winners!

I have updated the contest spreadsheet (remember that?) in the Treasure Chest.

Craig F said...

Congrats to all the winners, and all the rest that caught my Queen's attention.

For all of you who thought my mind was in the gutter I have to inform you of something.

Whenever I see the word bear, my mind goes back to Uncle Walter, who goes waltzing with bears

John Davis Frain said...

Craig F., we believe you about Uncle Walter. But that doesn't preclude us from still thinking your mind is in the gutter. My mind recognizes a kindred spirit.

Oh, and congrats to the demented bunch of finalists. I think those are words of praise from the queen of the known reefiverse.

Panda in Chief said...

Me, I'm just sitting in my truck, which is filled with about 100 stuffed pandas, in total amazement that I was one of the winners. Really, as per usual, they were all so good.

Craig F: now you've got me humming Waltzing with Bears again. The Priscilla Herdman version (I think she wrote it, or am I mistaken?) is my favorite.

Nice to see that there is still life here. Hello to everyone!
Be the Bear!

Craig F said...

Panda, I don't really know who wrote it.

It is generally attributed to Ted Gessel (Doctor Seuss), but that was in 1988. A lady named Toni Hernon (?) sung it at a folk festival in Portland in 1981, so who knows.

All I know is goes wa-wa-wa-waltzing through my brain about once a week.

Aphra Pell said...

Miles - you make a very good point, borne of the fact I wrote that without really thinking about it. I was picturing the hard covers you get to convert the flatbeds on utes (Aussie for pick-up trucks) into enclosed storage, but I've no idea what USAians would call them (we'd just call them the back of the ute tbh).

Ash Complin said...

Congratulations to everyone who caught the Shark's eye!

Being chosen has been the highlight of my summer. Thank you!