new story from Laird Barron!

Laird Barron is an amazing writer of horror (I'm told.)
VERY good horror in fact.
He's won awards for it.
Accolades.
Fans extoll his writing far and wide.

I've never read a word of it.
~~~SCARY!!!!~~~

I can read thrillers all day and night but I can't read horror. I'm not sure why. I kind of blame Stephen King for this (why not!) because I saw the movie based on his book Christine and promos for the movie based on his book Cujo and I actually lived in Oregon where they filmed The Shining...let's just say I slept with the lights on for.. oh wait I still do.

So when the modern day master of horror Laird Barron needed an agent, of course I tossed my hat in the ring. And bless his deeply twisted heart, Laird thought I might be up to the task.

My ace in the hole was the trusty Money Launderer here who loves his books with a passion.  As soon as Laird signed on the dotted line, I added a task to her job description: read Laird's books so I know what they're about.

Well, sadly she's not in the office today (I mean rilly...not at work on a Saturday?? what kind of fresh help is THIS!) so I had to scour the internet for help.

Here's the description of Laird's latest story.

"LD50 is a bone- dry thriller that reminded me of a hungover David Morrell. I also liked Jessica Mace, Barron’s heroine a lot- in fact, my mind cast Jamie Lee Curtis circa The Fog in the role while I was reading the story. I hope that we’ll see more of her in the future and that she doesn’t end up as lunch for some Elder God, like most of Laird’s protagonists."

--Dimitris Kontogiannis, www.crowsnbones.com

And here's the link to the LD50.  Read with the lights ON!

Question: This? That? The other?

We authors query a novel to multiple agents simultaneously--standard practice.   What is the etiquette status of querying multiple agents with different projects?  Fr'example, I query Agent A with my Regency Romance and Agent B with my epic Fantasy and Agent C with my YA.  At the same time.  Both books are complete and polished.   Is this acceptable practice, or considered a no-no?

I'm wondering about the level of awkwardness in informing an agent that another agent has offered representation on a different project.

No, I haven't been foolish enough to do this, though the temptation tugs at the corners of my soul. Curse these finished books looking for homes.

You can query any agent with any project you want. There are no Query Police to enforce my ideas about what you should do. (One of the many things I will attend to when crowned Queen of the Known Universe, of course.)

But your question assumes a fact not in evidence:  you can write at a publishable level in not just one category but three.

I don't think that's possible. Not for a debut writer.

And if you point to authors who do that (and there are some) I'm going to ask you to look carefully at whether they wrote all those books at the same time, or started after they had an established career.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try your hand at several categories. Write what you love and let the chips fall where they may.

BUT when you get ready to query, you're asking to have your work considered not as a passion project but a publishable book.  To know if your book is publishable you need to know the category VERY well. That means reading, and paying attention to what's selling, and what's not.  Unless you've cloned yourself or figured out how to add six hours to every 24-hour day, you simply don't have enough time to do that for more than one category.  If you're the parent of children still at home, hold down a job, and don't want your spouse to forget your face, you have even less time than those of us who eschew having a real life.

There's an understandable urge to query and just see what happens. I strongly urge you not to do this to yourself. Hearing a raft of No or worse, deafening silence is hard under the best of circumstances. Doing it for three books at once would wound the strongest creative soul.

The answer to your question is: yes you can.
My fervent hope is you may not.

Question Emporium: All of meee!

I recognize that authors should find an agent who is a good match from a career perspective, rather than jump at the first who shows interest. But what if I find an agent who seems like a good fit -- we get along -- but...

Here's a scenario I'm facing. (I thought I'd ask before I start the ball rolling.) Right now, ONE of the works I'm pitching is a historical fiction piece. I found an agency which (per their website) specializes in historical. (Plus some non-fiction.) What if he likes the book, and wants to represent me. But when we talk about my other books -- such as my YA thriller, he says, "I don't do those."

I suppose the crux of the question is, would signing on with the first agent hurt my chances at landing another agent for that book? Would another agent be likely to think, "I want you all, or not at all."

I'm always surprised when authors think agents are like underpants: change up as often as hygiene requires.

When you sign with me, I expect to represent all your work, and hopefully for the rest of your career.  Does that always happen? No.

Before you sign with anyone though, I would expect to talk about your future plans. If you're signing with me, and you mention you also write YA, we'll have a discussion about how to handle that.

I have clients who write in categories I don't represent.  Fortunately my estimable colleague Brooks Sherman does, so I just make him do the work while I reap the glory.

I've also spent a good deal of time learning categories that I don't normally work on because clients need books sold. This is why you see deals for me in YA and urban fantasy. I joke that I sold those by mistake but it's really because I have clients writing that who came to me for something else.

This is something you MUST talk about before you sign with an agent.  Thinking you can just find another agent for part of your work, or change agents if the first one doesn't handle a category is not a good idea.

The perfect reply

I saw a book review for something written by one of the real housewives of New Jersey: her strategy for a happy marriage.*****

When trusty Brooks Sherman  posted this link on Facebook I knew what I'd now send to anyone who doesn't know that poor NJ dear is heading for a reality smackdown and soon.





****(The thing that sent me into spiral of screeching was this: "Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge."

The idea that in this day and age you'd give any thought at all to this is mind-boggling to me.  Decorum is one thing.  This is the other.)

Time for the William F. Deeck-Malice Domestic grant!

I won't bore you with a repetition of my love for this award.. I'll let these pictures speak their thousand words***

 


The William F Deeck-Malice Domestic Grants Program is now accepting submissions for grants that will be awarded at Malice Domestic 26 in 2014. Two grant winners will receive grants in the amount of $1500 plus comprehensive registrations for Malice 27.

Submissions will only be accepted from September 15th through November 15th, 2013.

For submission guidelines and complete information regarding the Malice Grants Program, please visit our website   






**I found Stephany Jaye Evans at Malice when she won this award. Here's the story.

Enjoy a day just hanging out!