Always happy to oblige, I have found a template for my new rejection letter. Herewith:
For my sight-impaired readers, herewith the text not as a picture:
You worthless, acid-sucking piece of illiterate shit! Don't ever send this kind of brain-damaged swill in here again. If I had the time, I'd come out there and drive a fucking wooden stake into your forehead. Why don't you get a job, germ? Maybe delivering advertising handouts door to door, or taking tickets for a wax museum. You drab South Bend cocksuckers are all the same; like those dope-addled dingbats at the Rolling Stone office. I'd like to kill those bastards for sending me your piece . . . and I'd just as soon kill you, too. Jam this morbid drivel up your ass where your readership will better appreciate it.
Yail Bloor III
Minister of Belles-Lettre
P.S. Keep up the good work. Have a nice day.