It didn't win, but I loved it most

There was a contest for writerly versions of Christmas Carols over here.

There was a lovely winner who got a critique: congrats to Sonja.

This one though, by Susie, this one is what I will now be singing:

The Twelve Tips on Queries
(to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)


1. On most agent websites, query samples show,
word count in the very first line

2. On Cheryl Klein’s submission page, she implies
Word counts are boring-
But Most want it in the First line

3. On The Wendy Sherman webpage, sub instructions say
tell us why you chose us-
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

4. On Janet Reid’s blog, she quite often says
I Don’t care Why you Picked me-
Tell us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line.

5. On Janet Reid’s blog, she's also said
250 Words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

6. On the Wendy Sherman webpage, sub instructions read
No More than 2 full pages-
250 Words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

7. On the Greenburger webpage, sub instructions say
Include Bio and Synopsis-
No More than 2 pages
250 Words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

8. One day in Twitterverse, Jenn Laughran wrote,
Synopses are of the Devil-
Include a Synopsis
No More than 2 pages
250 Words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

9. On the Wendy Sherman webpage, sub instructions say,
Don’t refer us to your website-
Synopses are of the Devil
Include a Synopsis
No More than 2 pages
250 words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

10. In Nathan’s query samples, he clearly says,
“Cool, she’s got a website!”-
Don’t refer us to you website
Synopses are of the Devil
Include a Synopsis
No More than 2 pages
250 words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

11. In a panel at a conference, an editor said
“You must have a web presence”
“Cool, she’s got a website!”-
Don’t refer us to your website
Synopses are of the Devil
Include a Synopsis
No More than 2 pages
250 words!
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

12 As I write my query, please do excuse, my head banging up against the wall.
Must have a web presence, Cool, she’s got a website,
Don’t refer us to your website
Synopses are of the Devil
Include a Synopsis
No More than 2 pages
250 words
Don’t Care Why You Picked Me
Tell Us Why You Chose Us
Word Counts are Boring
But Most Want it in the First Line

now if anyone wants to record this, I will be GLAD to post that as well. And there might even be a prize for the bravest!

Miss Madison Ross embraced the challenge!