On the messageboard of the most notorious vanity-press-that-claims-to-be-a-traditional-publisher in the marketing tips discussion area is the suggestion that you have a friend submit your work claiming to be your agent.
Of course, they also claim you can get your book into B&N by having all your friends call the store and ask for your book and act shocked when they are told it isn't on the shelves.
My client, Walter James, has written the most exciting book of our time, and he feels you would be the best person to represent it. Not that I can't represent it, but I heard that agents prefer agented materials, so I hired another agent to write this letter.
The novel is a unique mixture of memoir and science fiction, the true tale of what happened to him the day he was abducted. There is mystery involved, too, as I try to find out who they are, so he can sue them. It's a sad, vengeful tale, as he never finds them. I'm hoping this novel will bring in tips as to who the abductors are.
Walter is sure you will take this novel on, as the precognition I received from the aliens tells him you will. You, of all people, will see how this novel can bring in millions of dollars.
7 comments:
hmm, what a strangely appealing idea... :)
Or the writer in question wrote a book about their agent?
So much to learn, so little time, lol.
On the messageboard of the most notorious vanity-press-that-claims-to-be-a-traditional-publisher in the marketing tips discussion area is the suggestion that you have a friend submit your work claiming to be your agent.
Of course, they also claim you can get your book into B&N by having all your friends call the store and ask for your book and act shocked when they are told it isn't on the shelves.
Gotta love it! Terri
I thought you were in Alaska?
Not yet! I leave Friday.
So you can one-up Moonrat:
Dear Ms. Reid,
My client, Walter James, has written the most exciting book of our time, and he feels you would be the best person to represent it. Not that I can't represent it, but I heard that agents prefer agented materials, so I hired another agent to write this letter.
The novel is a unique mixture of memoir and science fiction, the true tale of what happened to him the day he was abducted. There is mystery involved, too, as I try to find out who they are, so he can sue them. It's a sad, vengeful tale, as he never finds them. I'm hoping this novel will bring in tips as to who the abductors are.
Walter is sure you will take this novel on, as the precognition I received from the aliens tells him you will. You, of all people, will see how this novel can bring in millions of dollars.
James Walter (Walter's agent)
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