What the H were you thinking?

..when you sent me a disc (unsolicited) with your manuscript on it.
Do you really think I'm going to put a disc in my hard drive from someone I don't know? This qualifies as insulting. You must think I'm an idiot! Well, ok the feeling is mutual.


...when you send me query letters that are addressed to an address that is five years out of date? Worse, you sent it DHL courier, so you disturbed the people who are there, who signed for it, and let me know. I told them to not sign for stuff again. They don't need to feel responsible for you using outdated indexes or guide books. Even if you ARE using a guide book, which are out of date the minute they go to press, at least use the one with this year on the cover. Hint: it's not 2004. It's not even 2006.

...when you send me a query letter saying "I know I'm supposed to include an SASE" but I'll spare you the trouble of replying if you aren't interested. Well, ok, I'm sparing myself from reading your query. It's one thing to forget an SASE. It's one thing to not know you need one. It's entirely different to send me a WRITTEN query without one cause you don't want to. If you really hate the idea of spending .41 to find out your writing stinks, send the query by email.

...when you send me a query saying your work will be appreciated by anyone who's had to deal with life's ups and downs. Well, there's a charming way to say "my book appeals to everyone". Instant rejection of course. It doesn't appeal to me. Maybe cause I've never experienced life's ups and downs. Ya. That's it.

I appreciate query letters are hard to write well, but some of this stuff just demonstrates a basic lack of fact grasping.