Sunday, September 23, 2007

I've now been to New Jersey!

Let me tell you, it was touch and go!

First, there's this train thing that is a subway of sorts but doesn't recognize my unlimited ride MTA subway pass. Thankfully I had a twenty discreetly tucked in my holster (I was going to New Jersey, of course I was armed.)

I paid for a ticket and descended the stairs. There are NO signs. Two tracks but no signs. I've now become my own worst nightmare: a tourist without a map.

"Does this train go to Hoboken" I ask pathetically. The groovy hipster dude sporting twelve chains, ten tats, and a Bible looks at me pityingly and just points at the correct track.

The train arrives. The doors open. I get on. Thankfully it does go to Hoboken.

I get off when the train stops. I hope this is Hoboken but again, NO signs.

I follow the crowd, and sure enough, I'm on the wrong side of the Hudson. There is my beautiful city, all lit up, and I'm not in it!!

I'm ...in Hoboken. Which as far as I can tell could double for the WCTU's** Vision of Hell on Saturday Night. I'm not sure I've ever seen this many bars. My luck is improving. I fortify myself for the walk, because that's right.. the only taxis are shared things where seventeen people climb in and bribe the driver to drop them off first.

I have my own private pub crawl up Washington Ave, and I'm feeling no pain by the time I arrive at 14th street. Whereupon I realize I have no idea where this party venue is, and of course I've forgotten the name of the place to boot.

Choice One: go home
Choice Two: stand in the street and yell "JEFF SOMERS WHERE ARE YOU?"
Choice Three: wander up and down till something looks familiar.

Choice four: sit on park bench and contemplate the moving buildings.

Wait, moving buildings? I'm not that toasted am I?
I sit. I stare.

That's not a building. I'm staring at the Hudson and a damn cruise ship is going by...and it fills up the "tunnel" created by the buildings on each side of 14th. Whoa. Huge relief, tempered only by the dawning realization it took me three minutes to figure out the buildings were not moving.

Choice Five: see fellow party attender and slink after her on street, pretending I was never lost.

Leading to the moral of the story: sometimes sitting on the park bench watching the earth move does indeed solve all your problems.

It was a great party filled with friends, family and fans. I found Jeff's original query letter, and read it to the crowd.

Jeff's an amazing, talented writer, and I'm honored to have him as a client.
How much do I adore him? Well, I went to New Jersey for him.



**Women's Christian Temperance Union

9 comments:

astrologymemphis.blogspot.com said...

What is Mr. Somers thinking? Represent me, and I'll send a limo for you to attend my party. I'll send a plane. No, a Lear jet. I'll send the damned space shuttle! This isn't working, is it? Sigh. Best wishes to Mr. Somers and congrats on his celebration.

DeadlyAccurate said...

It's Tuesday, right? I marked it on my calendar to go pick it up, but I thought I'd double check. Now, to get out of the bookstore with only the one book.

Mags said...

Moving buildings sound fun.

Sean Ferrell said...

Actually, the buildings were moving. Hoboken just recently broke free and is moving south.

Maya Reynolds said...

I can't decide if it's your writing talent or your dedication as an agent I admire more.

I'm deeply fearful Jacky would not go to Hoboken for me, and she LIVES in New Jersey.

As a child I lived in Atlantic Highlands, NJ. For some unknown reason, my trusting parents allocated the bedroom with the second floor balcony to their nine-year-old daughter. I used to climb into the catalpa tree beside the balcony and sit, watching the lights of Staten Island and the boats across the bay. It's an enduring memory.

Sha'el, Princess of Pixies said...

So, going to New Jersey is a lot like getting lost in Portland?

Bill E. Goat: Do you know where you're going?

Me: Yes, I'm going to the Zoo to drop you off! ... Actually, I'm trying to find the turn to 99W.

Bill E: What was that? None of these signs are in English. I think you made a wrong turn back at The Dalles. Are we even in America?

Me: Yes! ... I think so ... Bill, shut up!

Bill E: Lookit! Lookit! What was she wearing ... ?

Me: Not much. I think it has to do with her profession .... Oh! Thanks God. A sign. What's it say? Can you read it?

Bill E: Probably "abandon all hope ye who enter here ... "

Kelley said...

*snort*

New Jersey. Please.

Come to NH and try staring at cows while inebriated.

Though...sometimes? They do move, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol. Only sometimes, though.

Nancy Beck said...

OMG, the horror, the horror, I tells ya! ;-)

I just no longer live in northeastern Jersey; sometimes I wonder if I should be living in Jersey at all, given the high taxes on everything and the shenanigans in Trenton (aka, corruption).

~jerseygirl

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

Oh my God that was funny! Thank you. I had a friend who had a penthouse in Hoboken. I kid you not. Hey, it was 1985, we'd just graduated from college and he was making SIX figures programming computers the size of the Empire State building or some such thing. Sounds like a great event and a very dedicated agent. Cool.