1. Send me an equery, get a negative response, then invite me to your myspace page.
result: your email address tagged as junk, and diverted automatically to the trash forevermore.
2. Put the words "hot" "sex" or "porn" in your subject line.
My email program is blindingly stupid as only a machine can be. It thinks you're spam and you've been diverted to the spam folder. When I wade into the spam folder I'm looking for email addresses I recognize and subject lines I know. Yours misses on both
3. Send attachments. I don't read or open attachments unless I've asked to see the material. If you query me with an email that says "I've attached my query letter" I won't read it and I will send you a form rejection. Policies vary agency by agency on this but mine is as clear as I can make it. NO ATTACHMENTS on query letters.
7 comments:
*phew* And to think I almost tried to get your attention with an invitation to "Hot Cop Porn on my MySpace page... pics attached!"
I try to follow directions.
Unfortunately, we pixies are easily confused. I admit to messing up queries. The very worst was a glaring misspelling in the middle of a letter to "I am a rich and famous but nearly burned out agent, and I will scold you publicly if you mess up."
I was embarrassed to tears both by having let the error slip through and by the public scolding I received.
We managed to agree that she hated me for the misspelling and that I'd never resubmit to her because she is stupidly rude. Fortunately, I've managed to find a publisher without Ms Nasty. And guess what! They graciously tolerate my stupid question! How nice. (Hi, Deena!)
Still ... we owe it to ourselves to follow the directions agents give. Besides, it's not really very nice to drive agents nuts, is it? Most agents, even the ones saying "no," have been very nice to me. And … I miss Snarkie.
"Come back Snarkie! Come baaaacccckkk," the pixie cried.
Snark's shoulders slumped for a moment. Then she steeled herself to the inevitable. She reined her horse off to the right and onto the trail that led to Abilene … or was that Perth Amboy. She couldn't remember.
"Damn!" she exclaimed. Look what blogging did to my brain! It's all that Pixie's fault!"
But … Now I found your blog. … I hope you like pixies and goats.
Church Lady is heartened by number 2.
Shhh, Sha'el--you'll have Brady Westwater over here next.
Thought I'd let you know one address on your website seems to be slightly off. It's the address on your homepage for your blog.
The address says: http://jetreidliterary.blogger.com
but it's actually: http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com
Of course, excellent post too!
oops
Oh good. I hadn't planned to put a MySpace address in the email, "hot" "sex" or "porn" in the subject line, or send an attachment.
So that means I am okay with sending you my PublishAmerica book (it's already got a cover and everything!!! so you don't have to worry about loose pages!!!) that I know you are going to want to represent so we can both earn millions and I can quit my lousy job folding envelopes because they don't respect my talent that I know you will.
: )
Hey, put that 2x4 down! Down, Janet, down!
: )
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