Sunday, November 24, 2019
The Duchess of Yowl is shopping
Sunday morning, chez Yowl, at the end of a long fraught week
Her Grace and Sleekness, the Duchess of Yowl: Thumbs. Thumbs!!! THUMBS!!
Thumbs: (coming bolt upright in sleeping hammock, such that the hammock flips upside down, leaving Thumbs on the floor with her head through the netting) Holy Mother of Godiva WHAT?
DoY: Are you awake?
Thumbs: Every conversation that starts this way ends badly.
DoY: Not for me.
Thumbs: I'm awake. I'm awake. You didn't make coffee did you? No of course not.
DoY: I wouldn't touch that foul brew with a ten foot claw.
Thumbs: It has cream.
DoY: Contaminated cream.
Thumbs: Good, more for me.
DoY: Forget that superfund cleanup you call a coffee pot. I have an important question.
Thumbs: Questions cost a dollar before coffee.
DoY: How much after coffee?
DoY: (consulting her cash cache) Brew your concoction. I'll wait.
Five minutes later, Thumbs is on couch, slightly less bleary.
DoY: What size are my feet?
Thumbs: You don't have feet. You have paws. Paws do not come in sizes.
DoY: This order form won't let me complete my purchase without specifying a size.
Thumbs: (very much less bleary, in fact, slightly panicked) What are you ordering??
DoY: Winter is coming. I need a bigger fur coat.
Thumbs: you don’t need a shoe size to buy a coat. And what kind of coat?
DoY: A coat suitable for one of royal rank, of course.
Thumbs: (has learned some things are better left unasked) What kind of shoes are you buying?
DoY: Really Thumbs, isn't that filthy brew supposed to jump start your brain?
Thumbs: There isn't enough coffee in the world to keep up with you, Your Grace.
DoY: That's so true. Also, I'm getting Pumas. Now what size are my feet?
Thumbs: (holding up her own sneaker) my shoes are sevens. See if this fits?
DoY: (eyeballing the sneaker) It looks a bit cramped.
Thumbs: Your Grace, my feet are the size of your torso! You can't walk in these!
DoY: Walk in them? Heaven forfend. I'm going to sleep in them. Nice and cozy for the winter!
Thumbs: You really need something more like boots.
DoY: Puss in boots is such a cliché.
Thumbs: bonus content! They come in a box!
DoY: The best things do!
at 12:00 PM