Monday, November 25, 2019

the Duchess of Yowl wants to sunbathe

Monday morning, chez Yowl

Her Grace and Sleekness the Duchess of Yowl: Pick me up, I want to sit on you.
Me: I'm trying to work here.

DoY: I need to sunbathe here!
Me: ok, ok, come on up.

DoY: No, I want you to move to the left. I want to sit on you and get the sun through the window.
Me: (scooching to the left 3/4") ok, is this where you want to sit?

DoY: No. Move to the right.
Me: (scooching to the right 1/4") ok, come here, I'll pet you.

DoY: Your paws smell funny. You've been drinking toxic sludge again haven't you?
Me: If you mean Cafe Bustelo, then yes.

DoY: Civilized animals drink tea.
Me: You don't drink tea.

(sardonic glare standoff)

DoY: move to the left again, you're still not in the right place.
Me: As long as I'm moving around, you're not getting petted in the sun, yanno.

DoY: A beam on the head is worth two on the tush.
Me: I'm being out punned by a cat.

DoY: Better than being outbunned by a hot dog.
Me: You're in league with Colin Smith, aren't you?


nightsmusic said...

Outbunned by a hot dog! Too funny. DoY is really on her game this morning :)

Lisa Bodenheim said...

Ha!! So love these little snippets of life with DoY.

Johnell said...

I suspect this has been said before, but you should pitch your own book about these convos with your cat. They are delightful and something I would pay to read.

Theresa said...

Haha! DoY has suspicions about Colin!

Melanie Sue Bowles said...

Hilarious. I love the little swirl of dark fur by her ear.

Karen McCoy said...

Ha! The DoY has a great sense of humor. I'll be interested in what Colin has to say!

And I agree with her comments on tea. Tea is my official fuel.

Lennon Faris said...

Wow, the DoY gives a GREAT side-eye. That's giving me the chills!

Hope everyone has a good, writerly week.

Claire Bobrow said...

Do Colin and the Duchess have a secret means of communication? I'm intrigued! Please keep the puns coming :-)

Dena Pawling said...

Looks like Colin has some serious competition =)

NLiu said...

Ha! Now Colin and the Duchess have their own league! The only question remains: are they for the Forti? Or against?


John Davis Frain said...

A shout out from the DoY?!! Colin, your Thanksgiving is going to be anti-climactic after this.

(I was trying to turn climactic into a "cat" pun, but I'll leave that up to your league experts.)

Jennifer R. Donohue said...

mmmm, Cafe Bustelo...

Also, my big-little dog* has a very particular schedule set in her head, and way of doing things. Of note (with regards to where one should sit), she curls up in a particular place on the couch and then stares accusingly at the nearest human, who should of course ensconce themselves adjacent while she chews her toy and/or naps. And probably, also, they should put the blanket on her.

*like, Ulrike weighs 75 pounds, which is as much as Elka weighed. But she is shorter and squarer and her head very different, and so she seems like such a tiny baby still, when by all rights she is indeed a large dog.

AJ Blythe said...

What do you expect when you are the human slave to a Duchess?

Fearless Reider said...

I sympathize with Her Royal Highness. Good staff is hard to find.

Colin Smith said...

Ha! Excellent. "A beam on the head is worth two on the tush." *Makes a note*

The truth comes out. DoY writes all my material. :)