A lot of you used the exact phrase, and quite a few of you used it as a jumping off place.
There was no right or wrong way on this one.
Holy Mother of Lady Godiva, can I not escape this man!?
Steve Forti does HIS OWN FORTISSIMO!!!
“I figured a few drinks would do the trick.”
Shedding her blouse, she crooned, “Must’ve been your charm.”
“Ha. Does it every time.”
“Pearls before swine…”
She’d muttered something, but he wasn’t listening.
“Would you like me to continue?” She purred.
“Been a naughty boy, you have. No mercy.” She dangled the handcuffs and pointed.
Clutching the bedframe, he obeyed, heart racing. The cuffs clicked tight, and she tested their hold… then walked over to his discarded pants and pilfered his wallet. As she redressed and exited, he begged and struggled in futility.
“The motherfucking key, at least?”
Love the pearl/purl pairing of Jennifer Mugrage
C.Dan Castro made me laugh out loud but my client Richard Gilbert, from beyond the grave, is not amused.
Sheri M, I like how you think!
Steph Ellis, your work should come with a warning label it's so intensely creepy!
Hey Gregory Shipman, welcome back! Long time, no comment!
And this line is wonderful: we’re thieves not beauty consultants
Melanie Sue Bowles cracked me up:
Well, perfect except the groom, bless his heart, but you need one to have a wedding
Karen McCoy (love the talking vole!)
Beatrice inspected her credenza and removed some china eggs, chipped tea cups, and a pink tutu.
What, your credenza doesnt have a pink tutu?
It says absolutely nothing good about me that I laughed out loud with this from Michael Seese
Poor Henry. Never knew what hit him.
Here are the entries that stood out to me
“What a mess…Smitty, call a meat wagon. The coachman’s dead, impaled by a mile marker. One horse flipped over into the ravine, and the other…well, he won’t be runnin in no derby anytime soon. Now, had she been wearin’ Piloti driving shoes, Jack Purcells, Christ, even Pearls woulda been better.”
“White rubber croc’s adorned with plastic pearls, my daughters got a pair, silly lookin’ things. Problem is, this ladies’ foot slipped off the pedal.”
“If only she’d downshifted.”
“If she’d had Pearls, she would have been clutching,” the man said looking down at the blood-stained glass slipper.
If she’d had pearls, she’d have pawned them. Rent was due again.
Three months ago, she signed the waivers and participated in the study and made enough to last till New Years.
Two months ago, her family looked side-eyed and pinched mouthed when she came to Thanksgiving dinner.
Last month, no invite for Christmas.
And now she was standing over a perfect stranger—who knew where he’d been?—with his cash in her pocket, brains on her lips and under her nails, and red-and-blues flashing closer and closer.
Rent was due. What was a zombie to do?
It was the final dive for her entire maternal line, as no one took her place. Once, an important part of a pearl’s cycle, but currents change. This ama knew she and the others were no longer needed in the eyes of the people on the surface. I no naka no kawazu taikai wo shirazu. The oysters still needed her, even if for the last time. Though today was a day of replanting, she wished she could bring some of the ocean back with her. If she only had pearls, she would be clutching them all the way home.
If she had been an over-priveleged Victorian lady, she might have required her smelling salts.If she had been a delicate Romantic spinster, she might have set down her intricate but,nevertheless, pointless needlework.If she had been a stern Georgian mother, she might have clutched at her pearls.If she had been a frumpy fifties housewife, she might have wrung her dishpan hands.But thankfully, she was writing her own story and was none, and had been none of those things; so what she had to say was this:'Damn right. I hear you!'
IfMarlena thought to wear a life jacketShe’dBe having a better time of it. Instead, all my wifeHadAround her neck was my string of diamonds, thrown likePearlsBefore swine into the abyss of infidelity. AsSheTumbled head-over-heels toward the churning wake, I knew IWouldHave no problem explaining her absence. Cruise officialsHaveNo real legal recourse, especially when the captain hasBeenRecently entangled with a certain passenger in several sweaty,ClutchingVersions of down dog, as her vengeful selfies will surely attest toThem.
Instead of pearls, she clutched straws. They wouldn't turn to gold. She wept; the little man cackled, demanding her son.But she got clever, uncovered his name. He vanished… right?Not quite.They'd been a team. Pearls from a dragon, boots from a cat. The king's gold about to roll out of his palace in balls of yarn.Then she betrayed him. Better a royal than a rogue.Rumpelstiltskin vanished - into a cell.But the miller's daughter played the king false too. That son he fought for? Not his.Enthroned now, the boy burns spindles; gold flames in the dark.
The girls flocked around, all a flutter, jealous because Drake had chosen her. Trouble was, she hadn’t wanted to be chosen.
Pecking order, he’d said.
Totally stuffed, she’d thought. The only option was flight.
It caused a splash when Drake stopped her. The rest called her a quack and hissed their displeasure.
Many would be jealous of her views to the lake. Her down-filled bed. Wouldn’t care they were caged in. No freedom. She wouldn’t brood about it; she was a Pekin, of the American Pekins. She refused to sit any longer. If they’d been pearls she’d have clutched them.
I like to let the final list sit for a while and look it over with fresh eyes.
Let me know what you think, and if you'd have added any to this list!
Today turned into a hugely busy day and I was forced, forced! I tell ya to dive into a couple new books that arrived in the mail today. (More on those at a later date.)
This week' winner is Timothy Lowe. I loved the story, but what made it extra special was the cadence and the form. It's a gorgeous entry to read.
Tim, confirm your mailing address for me and I'll get a prize in the mail to you!