Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Vacation post day 6/7: The Duchess of Yowl is peckish


DoY: Waitress! WAITRESS!

Me: Your grace, what have I told you about calling me that?

DoY: oh right, Waitressjanet!

Me: (surrendering) Yes Your Grace?

DoY: I want a cookie.

Me: You actually don't.

DoY: I do too! Give me one!

Me: Your grace, you don't like cookies. You just want what I have here.

DoY: I want a cookie!

Me: If you really wanted one, why did you step over the plate that has three of them, to come and stare at my mouth?

DoY: Yours looked tastier.

33 comments:

CynthiaMc said...

I love these posts.

Whe we were first married, Hubby and I had a blue tabby Persian named Beau. Hubby likes pineapple and cheese sandwiches. Beau liked cheese. Hubby had a habit of making his sandwich and then going off to do something else. Beau would grab the edge of the cheese, pull it out of the sandwich, and eat the cheese.

Lisa Bodenheim said...

haha! It's so true. The inquisitive nature of cats. But! Janet? You surrendered to having waitress attached to your name!! It's time for the QOtKU to get back to the office before the DoY completely bowls you over!!

And seriously, thank you for the DoY stories this week. They've been fab. And I hope you've had a fabby week off and found some wonderful reading somewhere between your and DoY's contretemps!

AJ Blythe said...

Do you have any of that vegemite left that Gary Corby shared? Cats *love* vegemite (Australian cats do anyway). Share some of that with DoY - win/win, you get your bikkies and DoY will find a new food to yowl for =)

Colin Smith said...

Sorry I haven't been very active here these past few days--I've been getting my social media life in order (re-focused blog, updated Twitter profile, new "author" FB page)... I shan't bore you with the deets here. It's all on my blog today.

Thanks for delighting us with these little DoY vignettes, Janet! She's clearly a very demanding kitty... but she's a cat, so I would expect nothing less. Sam the Cat will come and yell at me, either because he's not getting enough attention, or he's hungry. Or both. In fact, there aren't many other options with Sam. :)

To AJ's comment, as much as Vegemite is like the British Marmite (which it is, only not quite as strong--and I could make a dig about Australian beer, but I won't go there*), it's probably still good even though Gary visited, what, 2 years ago? And "bikkies" = "biscuits" which are sort-of like cookies, not scones.

CCCTS at your service! (Colin's Commonwealth Culture Translation Service.)

*Vegemite and Marmite are made from the left-over yeast product from brewing beer.

E.M. Goldsmith said...

That cat! So very feline.

AJ Blythe said...

Colin (aka CCCTS), thanks for correcting my non-US terminology. It's late at night and my brain's tired so didn't think about translating before typing.

And yes, 2 years is nothing for vegemite. There's enough salt in there for it to keep for a dozen years. Not that I've ever tested it. A jar doesn't last 3 months in our house.

I hope you aren't using Fosters as an example of Aussie beer? That's what we ship out, not what we drink.

nightsmusic said...

Loaner Cat would sit on the arm of the couch and grab my hand as it went from my plate of my snack to my mouth. She would inspect it, sniff it, do an air lick or two and then let go, almost as if it was her approving what I ate. But holy cats! The tuna sammie I had? She can be vicious! ;)

I have a jar of Marmite in the fridge. I use it occasionally for a bit of umami flavoring, similar to soy sauce or Worcestershire. But I don't dare spread it on anything. I'd blow up like a balloon from the salt! Oy!

Colin Smith said...

AJ: You're welcome. Hey, I can only comment on what I know. And the ads used to say, "Fosters: Austalian for beer." So...? :)

That's what we ship out, not what we drink.
Isn't that like saying, "I query and promote my fan fiction, but keep my literary fiction and original epic fantasy for my family and friends"? ;)

kathy joyce said...

Oooh, beer wars! Hang on a sec, while I make some popcorn.

Colin Smith said...

BTW, a tip for eating Marmite or Vegemite: Eat it like a Brit (or Australian, from what I gather) and butter the bread first. That will help to tone down the bite, and temper the saltiness. Applies to both sandwiches and toast.

Courtesy of CCCTS: Colin's Commonwealth Culinary Translation Service

kathy joyce said...

I've seen this before. Pretty soon, someone will start telling 'yo mama jokes' about Prince Charles.

kathy joyce said...

Just like how Russians eat caviar.

E.M. Goldsmith said...

Did someone say beer? I need one. Beer? Does Australia have good ale? A lovely pale amber would really lift my spirits. Who has the best? My bet is Creature Comforts right from my neck of the woods here in America. Discuss.

Claire AB. said...

Thank you, Janet, for these hilarious posts -- and the comments, Reiders! I just binge-read them, having spent the last several days dropping off my first-born at college. I needed a good laugh. And I've been searching for how to fill the void. It sure is tempting to bring home my own DoY, but Simon the Bassador (i.e.bassett hound/labrador mix) won't allow it. It'll have to be cookies for breakfast. Not quite ready for Vegemite or Marmite.

Susan said...

These have been my saving grace (get it? Grace? *cue groans*) to get me started in the morning. With tomorrow's post, I plan on reading back through them all and pretending they're part of a hilarious book. Might even print them out for when I need a pick me up.

I never tire of the Duchess.

Steve Stubbs said...

Your cat suspects you are holding the good stuff for yourself and forcing her to eat cat food. My cat felt the same way.

Off topic alert: This is off topic. Nothing to do with cats, cat litter, or cigarettes but it is relevant to the literary of the world.

The CBS television show 60 Minutes aired an interview with John le Carre Sunday night. Anyone who did not see it can watch it here:

https://www.cbsnews.com/videos/heroin-in-the-heartland-le-carre/

Unfortunately you have to skip past a segment on people who like to drink and do drugs and how people who disapprove of their lifestyle choices are convinced they can somehow force those folks to walk the strait path that leads to Paradise. I am not a druggie but find them and their adversaries both extremely annoying. The JLC interview is worth watching.

There is more on JLC on 60 Minutes Overtime here:

www.60minutes.com

Donnaeve said...

Wow. I've been missing out! The DoY returns! I've got to go back and read them all...and our Queen is on vacay? Lucky! Although...if she has DoY keeping her company, I wouldn't call it vacation.

More like catnation.

Colin Smith said...

Steve's links:

https://www.cbsnews.com/videos/heroin-in-the-heartland-le-carre/

www.60minutes.com

Claire Bobrow said...

I'd like to know if the DoY asked for the cookie in pirate-speak? It is, after all, national talk-like-a-pirate day.
Perhaps cats (particularly Duchesses) do not condescend to involve themselves in such ridiculous antics.

Beth Carpenter said...

Conversation with dog:

"What ya eating?"

"Banana."

Can I have a bite?"

"Sure." I break off a piece and give to dog, who rolls it around her mouth and spits it out.

"Very funny. Can I have a bite of what you're really eating?"

Barbara Etlin said...

Beth, my dog, Echo loved bananas, but they had to be exactly the right degree of ripeness. He was the Goldilocks of banana eaters. The smell of a banana would always wake him up. He'd come over to investigate, and, if he liked its smell, to nudge my husband for a taste.

I saw the 60 minutes interview with John le Carre and I highly recommend it.

Brigid said...

Wait, CynthiaMc, pineapple and cheese? I...er...hm. Okay. I could see it with gruyere. Or like, a slice of grilled pineapple between two gruyere grilled cheese sandwiches. I have been reading too many food blogs.

Ilaria finds food nice for fingerpainting, but she's significantly more interested in eating the plate. Or better yet, the refrigerator.

Colin, you have been making changes. A Patreon is a stellar idea. I might be in for a glimpse at the WIP...

AM Lyvers said...

I have had the same happen to me, but supplant DoY with my husband. Even if we have the same plates of food in front of us, his lower lip wobbles if I take a bite of what's on my fork.

Yes, I did marry him knowing this.

roadkills-r-us said...

I have been thoroughly enjoying your adventures with the Noted Slaver-Pirate Duchess of Yowl.
These are extra entertaining if read on the actual blog, because of the ad for Sean Ferrell's _Numb_ that I see alongside the blog posts. Clearly a cat got hold of those britches. I suspect that NSP DoY used Sean (or his protagonist) as a ladder.

Lynne Main said...

Janet, love the DoY stories. There will be a book about the DoY's misadventures coming out soon, right? ;)

Colin Smith said...

Thanks, Brigid! I'd best get on with the WiP so I have stuff to share...!! ;)

CynthiaMc said...

Brigid - he also likes pineapple on pizza.

Colin - thanks for the translation. I went through a list of what I thought a bikkie might be. I wasn't even close.

Vegemite and Marmite sound like things you might take to war.

Colin Smith said...

Cynthia: Pineapple is particularly good with Hawaiian bread. Buttered, of course. Goes without saying I like pineapple on pizza. As for Marmite/Vegemite as weapons? Definitely. Spread it thick without butter and feed it to the enemy... ;)

Megan V said...

Perhaps the QOTKU should include marmite or vegemite in her fridge and around the food on her plates whilst the DOY visits. I'd think that such unpalatable substances would deter any creature, human or non, that prefers not to scour their tongue with a paste with a taste that's reminiscent of rancid salt pork.

Colin Smith said...

Hey now, Megan--it doesn't scour the tongue... :)

Megan V said...

Colin I suppose that's true enough. That nasty stuff adds a layer of yuck rather than clean it away. :)

Colin Smith said...

Megan: It's made from beer left-overs. How is that a bad thing? :)

Megan V said...

Colin Key word(s): left-overs. If it were any good it'd be in the beer. And that's my last off topic comment for the night.

It's been nice to see these DOY posts and now I truly wish I could share a pint with all of the wonderful Reef members.