Me: I have to get back to work your grace.
DoY: You are required to pet me for a full hour every morning and every evening. It's in the contract.
DoY: The hospitality contract you had to sign before I agreed to slum it over here in Brooklyn.
Me: I haven't seen, let alone signed, any such thing!
DoY: I signed for you. You were busy hefting my luggage up those stairs.
Me: Were you a loan shark in one of your previous lives?
DoY: Don't try to change the subject. Pet me.
Me: Alright your grace, I will pet you vigorishly.
DoY: We are not amused.
Me: You are however, a muse.
DoY: I need a no-pun rider to that contract.
Me: Fur sure.
DoY: Get Scheister on the phone at once! This is punative!
Me: Is he with the firm of Dewey Cheatham and Howe?
DoY: (leaps to floor, runs to cat blanket cave) Not even petting is worth this torture.