Yes, this is filled with whisky

Yes, this is filled with whisky

Monday, October 03, 2011


"I am seeking representation for my novel, a completed Non-Fiction Romantic Crime Drama."

Even if your novel observes the laws of gravity, and respects the laws of physics you do not ever say your novel is non-fiction. Many things in a novel may be true. That does not make it non-fiction.

A "non-fiction novel" is narrative non-fiction. You'll see "non-fiction novel" used to describe early works in this category; IN COLD BLOOD is a classic example.

But now, and forever onward, here's the rule:

1. Novels are fiction by definition. (no fiction novels much like there is no presidential president)

2. Non-fiction with a narrative arc, and a riproaring good story is  "narrative non-fiction."

3. If you don't observe this rule, I will arrange for my non-fictional flying monkeys to visit you.


A3Writer said...

After they're done, can I borrow the monkeys to send after some of my students? They will come home very well long as they enjoy student flesh (but no brains; those might make the monkeys sick).

Jason Kenney said...

Maybe it was a "novel" idea?

Jared X said...

If I may play devil's advocate, perhaps the writer of the query for a non-fiction novel is attempting to show off his/her grasp of oxymoron.

And wouldn't a fiction novel be an example of a repetitious redundancy?

Scooter Carlyle said...

Bwaa haa haaa!

Carol Dance said...

I like the old 'Romantic Crime' bit. Whaddya do, beat 'em to death with a rose bush? Throw one of those 'bear holding a heart' from a high enough distance and bean 'em?

LOVE romantic crime!


Ali Trotta said...

I have to ask, is 'crime dramas' a phrase applied to novels? Because I haven't heard that used before.

Also, I want a flying monkey. ;-)

Ali Trotta said...

Er, that should be crime DRAMA. Don't know why I made it plural.

Kristin Laughtin said...

Ahh darn, I was hoping to send a fictional query for my non-fiction novel!

The Frisky Virgin said...

Fictional novel, non-fictional novel, let's call the whole thing off. *said in singsong voice*

I hope the people who send these things to you read your blog carefully--there is a plethora of helpful information here.

The non-fictional flying monkeys are classic...and would be quite useful, too.

Dana Strange said...

OMG, can I borrow your flying monkeys for Halloween? They would look fantastic perched on my porch!

Aun-Juli said...

I'll match your flying monkeys with my fancy, flying narwhals!

Jill Kemerer said...

Too funny! Please don't unleash your scary monkeys on me!

Leigh Lyons said...

You see, you're such an agenty agent, going around agenting all the time that the querier couldn't help it!