Be ready to query

You've written your query letter. Spellczeched it more than once.
You've scrounged up names of agents who look respectable.

Ready?

oh no no no.

You may be sending a query letter but here's the stuff you need to have READY when I email you back with interest:

1. a synopsis (I'm asking for a synopsis after reading partials, before reading the entire novel, now, as a time management technique).

2. a proposal, if you're writing non-fiction. WITH a sample chapter ready to go. Don't query on an idea. Be ready for yes.

3. an idea about your second novel, and preferably some actual chapters. Almost every editor now is asking "what else is in the quiver" for first time novel buys.

4. a short bio with list of previous publications if any.

There is an odd dichotomy in publishing. The entire industry moves at a glacial pace, but individual transactions are happening faster and faster. Hatherleigh Press just published a book in SEVEN days after they got word that a self published book was going to be on Oprah. Signed the author, had the books ready to ship in SEVEN days.

I signed a client, submitted his book and had an editor call back with interest in 24 hours recently.

I've had non fiction proposals get a response in 3 hours.

Hurry up and wait...not just for the army anymore!

Top 8 Things telling me I don't have to take your query seriously

1. Start your query letter with a description of what the cover will look like.

2.Put (c) year on the title page. Even better is (c) five years ago.

3. Put "do not duplicate under penalty of criminal prosecution" on the title page

4. Tell me your book is a cross between The Electric Church and Sex and the City.

5. Tell me you've queried 10 other agents; include some of their "favorable comments"

6. Tell me your novel is being seriously considered by two major New York publishing companies (and fail to include any further information)

7. Tell me you are famous author's relative (12/9/07 update--that book just sold to the new Borders-only imprint, so clearly, opinions vary!)

8. Tell me you've wanted to be a writer your whole life but you've just now retired and have time.


If you do not understand any of these 8 points, ask in the comment section and I'll yammer on at LENGTH on the topic.

Friday night at the Question Emporium

Question:

Now that our beloved Miss Snark has retired, perhaps you could offer a few words of pithy advice about a problem neither she nor Mommy never warned me about.

Two days ago I began emailing carefully tailored queries to 17 top- tier non-fiction agents. Before I finished two responded requesting a proposal. (first of all, I notice you didn't mail one to me unless you used an alias here.)

I did a happy dance.

Yesterday I received two additional responses requesting a proposal. Before I could get giddy one of the agents called to say she'd read the proposal, she'd be delighted to represent the book, and began unabashedly selling her agency as the best choice, "if I hadn't already signed with someone else."

I considered a precautionary call to 911, just in case I became dangerously overwrought.

Today another agent emailed to say he would like to represent the book.

Now I'm starting to worry.

This isn't the way it's supposed to work, is it? Isn't the standard weeks, even months, waiting for a rejection a prerequisite? Endless unanswered queries, years as supplicants at writer's conferences is what I should expect, isn't it?


I've looked for advice on this at Writer's Market, Publishers Marketplace, Absolute Write, & Predators and Editors. But what I find only confirms it's not supposed to work like this. An embarrassment of riches, unlike nitwittery, just isn't a common topic.

Can you offer any advice beyond the obvious 'pick someone you can work with?" Should I pick an agent or a firm? Do contracts, commission rates, access to publishers and other characteristics vary much between firms? Are some agents or agencies noted for securing
better deals for their authors, and how do I find which ones those are?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read all this. If you have the time and inclination to reply the gin and doggie treats are in me.

Tom

PS. While I was writing this I exchanged emails with another agent who asked if I'd queried more than her. I said yes and admitted that two agents already said they wanted to represent the book. She pleaded for me to wait until Monday to decide so she could confer with others in her firm and offer us the best possible deal. Maybe that's the crux of the matter? If so, what constitutes a 'best deal?" Maybe I need an agent agent?

Answer:
First, I don't drink gin and I don't have a dog so fork over the cash instead.

Funny you should mention this very nice problem you have, cause I've been thinking about this very situation a lot this week.

I was thinking about it because I received a very nice query letter from a man in Charm City. I fell on it with glee. I called him up. Too late, he's in the snares of one my slithery colleagues.

My pal Rita Rosenkranz and I commiserate about our "alphabetical undesirability". Even if you have only 17 names, chances are R as in Reid, and R as in Rosenkranz are L as in Last.

Woe is us.

So, I've learned to pounce early on good projects. Whereas I once wrote back, then emailed, now I'm almost as likely to pick up the phone.

The other thing is there are more and more agents out there hunting up good projects every day. Agenting seems to be the profession of choice for former editors. There's at least one announcement a month for a new agent on Publishers Marketplace.

We're all on the hunt for good stuff and those of us who are smart are moving faster and faster. I turn my electronic queries around in 24 hours now, my letters in a week, and I'm reading novels in a week, not a month, as often as possible. There's too much competition now to sit around and talk about how busy we all are.

How do you choose? Well you didn't query me, so you'll have to settle for second best (unless you did query someone here at FinePrint, in which case, sign with us immediately).

Talk with everyone. Get a feel for how they work. It's nice to be wanted but you want to find out what happens when the honeymoon ends. Talk to the clients of your top choices.

Most of my clients will say nice things about me I think. Except this week when all of them but two are feeling ignored, overlooked, and unloved. What they will say even this week is that most of the time, they do not feel overlooked or ignored. Most of the time they think I'm doing a pretty good job. I think that's what you want to look for: an agent whose clients say she's doing a good job even on the days they're feeling crabby about her.