Monday, January 15, 2024

Pet Card flash fiction results


Sorry for the dreadful delay in posting this.

I was beset by a foul ailment that laid me low.

I'd say it was fur deprivation, but I did have a nice long week with Mx Pix the parkour puss.


There's no critique on these; they're all terrific and besides, they're your furred friends. They're perfect even when they're not.


That said, the entry by Fburgos was breathtaking. I read it once and thought, ok, got it.

Then I read it again.


Dimitrius Harmata


    Hi! I’m Fluffy.

    I chose to spend one of my nine lives standing guard over Dimitrius during the rough 90’s.

    My reward was a bat I caught all by myself!


Geeze Louise, I'd like to have seen video of that!


Craig F


    All who visit are advised to keep their hands to themselves. Yes, he’s a large cat, and he might be my pet, but his name is Bob for a reason


This cracked me up.


Kate Larkindale


    I'm Frankie the Fearful, fleeing the house at every knock at the door since 2017. But I'll cuddle with you in bed every night too.


He sounds like a sweetie.


Steve Forti


    Zoey: (noun) petite cuddly feline. Black void. Impatient eater, fluffy yarn ball destroyer, spring chaser. Scared of the dark. That comfy seat you wanted? It’s mine. Your bed? Also mine.


I love Zoey! Mine is my favorite word too.


Erin Scruggs


    I’m Molly the maltipoo: master of suspense. Hobbies include rolling dirty (in the grass), sprinting (at Olympic speed), and barking at animals on television (especially make-believe creatures in allergy commercials).


As any sensible dog does!




    Pepper—now known as whiny dog


    Used to sit

    Used to stay

    Got spoiled by Grandma.


    Still a sweetheart.


Oh Grandma!




Erin Scruggs


    I’m Stetson the schnoodle: a loyal companion. Skills include licking people (unexpectedly), napping (snoring loudly while farting silently), and winning staring contests (especially effective when grandparents and bacon are involved).


Stetson's not intending to eat Grandma is he?



Beth Carpenter


    Wascally wabbits destroying your garden? You need Annie, the rabbit chaser who never slows down.* Call 1-800-462-6643, that's 1-800-GOANNIE.


    *Disclaimer: Annie has never actually caught a rabbit.


Reminds me of submitting client work to The New Yorker. Haven't made it yet but will die trying!




    Marilla: I am Maggie’s moggy, defender of hearth and home against mice, rats, shrews, snakes, bats, and all things like that. Weasels are my specialty: quick clean kills ensured.


Weasels!!! Yikes!!!


Just Jan


    Captain Jack, a.k.a. the Boston Terr(o)r

    Peg-legged. Born under a bad sign.

    Lack of intelligence surpassed only by absurd loyalty to anyone with food.


Love Boston Terr(o)r!


Lennon Faris


    Poppy: Watchdog, snuggler.


    Ready for any* threat:


    - Humans wearing hats

    - Bubbles

    - Bunnies (includes free murder)


    I will protect you! Will work for cheese.


    *no bad guys please


You never know what Bubbles is up to!


Mother of Monster


    Monster, Maine Coon Extraordinaire. I shed so you don't have to.


Or: I shed so you can too!


Amy Johnson



    mama canis

    Gentle and joyful doter on children of various ages and species.

    Temporarily transforms into mama ursa to protect them from the vacuum cleaner.

    aka: Good Girl


oh the evil vacuum!!


Karen Baldwin


    He dominates me.

    “Ow! Don’t bite my hair! It’s 4 a.m.!”

    His eyes squint his desire.


    As he chomps the Whiskas salmon flakes, I coo, “Love you, Indie boy.”


We are all slaves to our feline overlords.


Michael Seese


    Allie, a.k(anine).a. "Doggo"


    Chasing balls since 2018


Catching balls since ?


E.M. Goldsmith


    Rest in peace, Frankie. The best pug ever.

    I will see you on the other side. Keep watch

    as you always have. I’ll be home soon.


Not too soon E.M.!!!!





    Angel on Earth

    now angel in Heaven

    (treats still accepted)


I'm sorry for your loss. I still mourn my Newfie, gone for many years, but never forgotten.

A good girl always.


Tomas Zandir


    Holly: One of a legion of feline impersonators sent by rulers of planet Xanon to enslave human population of Earth. Mission wildly successful!


Bowser, household dog, is still a problem.


One feels for Bowser.




    My name’s Patrick, King of Cats;

    Look on my Snores, ye Mighty, and despair!

    Nothing beside remains

    In the colossal wreck of my food-dish

    Now it’s time to play.


Nice homage to Percy Shelley, who did in fact have a cat (or more than one!)

“When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood, but because I know they're just sitting there, thinking up ways to get even.”

― Percy Bysshe Shelley




J.R. Raglow


    From hello Molly, you choose me?

    As sweet as fine chocolate

    Lab of my life,

    Bar dog, car dog, barn dog, bird dog,

    Danger detector, domain protector,

    Partner, companion, friend.


This is just perfect.




    Cauliflower, aka The White Ninja


    Intrepidly Accessing the Inaccessible, since 2008



    - napping

    - purring

    - shedding

    - acrobatic zoomies, extra



    - fish, chicken, treats

    - effusive praise

    - petting, scritches



    - invitation only


Invitation only indeed!




Colin Smith


    Seouler and Momo: Bug-catchers extraordinaire. Proving you need neither sight nor sanity to hunt pests.


They use The Force!


BJ Muntain


    Little Girl Dog creeps

    Softly in my dreams; Angel

    Racing lightning down.


    Koko, my heart dog,

    Always beside me; Angel

    He will always be.


Angel seems very aptly named.




    Kokhan: Cat for hire.

    Will shred all your enemy’s soft furnishings and knock over all fragile artefacts of value.

    In and out in 30 mins. Discreet. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.


Tip him with tuna?


Tain Leonard-Peck


    Prehistoric reptile, mix-and-match critter. Alligator tail, lizard legs, hydraulic cutter jaws. Living behind glass for your safety, not mine. Pet me at your peril, turtle with a snap.


Hydraulic cutter jaws!!!

Love this.


John Davis Frain



    Experienced walking companion

    No leash necessary


What a good boy!




    Thelma and Louise, bonded rescue rabbits.


    Plunging in cars not their thing.


    Will beg for Timothy hay.


    Will cuddle for willow.


So glad they are not intent on driving off a cliff.

(that scene still haunts me.)





    Barn Mouse: Extraordinaire!


    Creepy, poopy, destructive.


    Cohabitant: Kregger


    He hates me.

Yes, but does he call you a "tailless toilet user"? (Duchess of Yowl)






    My name is Hudson

    I'm a cadaver dog

    And I just found my master.


oh god, the subtlety and ambiguity of this just blows me away.



Barbara Etlin


    Echo, Sheltie (always remembered)


    Intruder-chaser, Blue Jays very short stop, model, philosopher, poet

    Hobbies: napping, guarding the bathroom door


    I'm a Sheltie. Don't call me "mini Lassie."


Indeed not!!





Thanks to all of you who took the time to write and post entries.

They were indeed a day week weeks brightener!



Steve Forti said...

Welcome back to the land of the living!

E.M. Goldsmith said...

Janet, I am so happy to hear from you. I was worried. So worried. Hope for much happier days with less feeling icky. Welcome back and thank you for giving us Readers your time.

BJ Muntain said...

Welcome back, Janet! So nice to see you!

Beth Carpenter said...

So glad you're back and feeling better!

J.R. Raglow said...

Good to know you are well, or at least better. I'm going to have a Scotch, here's to your health.

Craig F said...

Good to see you voice again, my Queen. I am glad I tickled your funny bone

John Davis Frain said...

That piece from fburgos ... Bruce(?) was indeed breathtaking and immediately reminded me of Seaman, the Newfie on the Lewis & Clark expedition who, it is said, lay down on his master's (Meriweather Lewis) grave and refused to eat until he died.

I don't know if that story is apocryphal, but it's been unforgettable to me.

Well done, fburgos. Your piece was unforgettable too.

Welcome back, Janet. We didn't change much, you should recognize everything.

Dimitrius Harmata said...

So glad you are baaaack!

NLiu said...

Janet! You're aliiiiiiiiive!!!! I am very relieved to see it. (Did I get close to googling obituaries, you ask. Are you sure you want to know?)

Since we have no pets at the moment (tadpoles, alas, are not survivors and I pray we never get handed more of the poor, unfortunate things) I didn't enter the competition. But I very much enjoyed reading the entries.

SDK said...

Love reading your comments, Janet. They're just as entertaining as the entries (which were awesome). Such fun!

Jennifer R. Donohue said...

oh geeze fburgos, that's amazing!

I missed the print run on this (get it, business cards, print run) but I did THINK about it! (doesn't count) I need to try to start flexing my short-short story muscles again.

I hope you're feeling better, Janet!

Lisa Bodenheim said...

Glad to see you back, Janet! And a good way to re-start the day.

MaggieJ said...

Janet! So glad to see you back! You had us worried.

Regarding my moggy, Marilla. We lived in a wholly holey (but not holy) old farmhouse. Sometimes it seemed like there was more wildlife inside than outside. Quite an adventure. Living now in a one-bedroom apartment where the wildlife stays outside where it belongs. How dull!

LynnRodz said...

Glad to know you're feeling better, Janet. We missed you!

CynthiaMc said...

So glad you're feeling better. I was worried.
Love these! Pets keep us sane (ish).

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Whew! Glad you're back and feeling better, Janet!

AJ Blythe said...

Very relieved to hear you've beaten the bug, Janet. I enjoyed "meeting" everyone's pets (missed the deadline to get mine in).

John Davis Frain said...

AJ, this is the publishing world. You can absolutely still tell us about your pet. You can still tell us in spring 2025 and you'll be on time. The floor is yours...

AJ Blythe said...

Aw, thanks, John. Probably too late to be seen by any but Janet, but here it is...

Meet my shadow, Ludo the Tamaruke (that's okay, no one knows the breed) - he knows the rules, he just considers his options.

there is no watchdog like him. Our house will forever be safe from inanimate objects but any person will be welcomed, day or night.