Incoming query: My novel is "Propulsive! Heartwarming! Original!"
Oh yes, your book is all that and a bag of chips.
But when you put that in a query letter, my ONLY response is "Oh yea? Says who?"
Cause you are not the most reliable source on how fabu your novel is.
Not only are you not objective, you're blindly partisan.
And that is A-OK.
You should love your book.
You should think your book is not only the cat's pajamas, it's the cat in pajamas in a bag of chips.
A savvy writer, and effective querier, knows to NOT say that.
A writer who hears "write your query like flap copy/book jacket copy" might be led astray. What they don't realize is flap copy that says "Propulsive! Heartwarming! Original!" was written by the editor or the marketing department. NOT the author.
Leave lauds OUT of the query.
Let the reader (ie me) discover your amazingness.
It's much more fun that way.
And honestly, the queriers who tell me their books are original are usually wrong.
They just haven't read enough to know that.
And the queriers who tell me their books are heartwarming have overlooked they are writing to a shark who has no heart and likes to eat (heartwarming) writers for breakfast.
And the queriers who tell me their book is propulsive usually have a pacing problem.
Leave the lauds to your readers.
Tell me the story.
That's all I need to know.
22 comments:
Every query I have written are a struggle to get the story arc onto paper. I have never figured out where everyone else finds the space to plug in personal platitudes.
But that is okay because there are always lovely cat pics to occupy the mind.
Back in my querying days (and they may yet come again), I wish I had believed that any of those books were the cat's pajamas. I fear that might have been part of my difficulty, feeling a beggar at the feast. "Please agent person, like my story."
It took me a long while to accept none of my ideas would be original. Nothing new under the sun and all that. I finally embraced it. It helped. Write a good story. Keep your query short and about the story. That sometimes works. And keep going.
Someone will love your work. Somewhere. Some day. It may just not be in the scenario you have in your mind. You know a six figure advance, a bidding war of the big 6 (or is it 5 now?), and awards being showered on you from above. It may just be a narrow crack in an indie door with a tiny team that really love your work. And that will still get your book in front of readers. Then you can get people to sing your praises. Or foibles. Could go either way. But that's the life we writers choose.
I really thought this post was going to be about laundry...
I spent part of my day locating old FF entries in my mountain of unorganized Google docs.
Miss those -- they really sharpened the brain, became a great outlet, a wonderful diversion. The last one (as yet still in Preliminary results stage, unless I missed it) was a much-needed distraction from the skull-splitting boredom of a Covid isolation last January.
No, I don't have a point. Yes, I just booked a one-way trip to you-know-where.
Hope you have a good trip Tim.
But, I heed the call of the howling mob.
This Friday:
The Bon Voyage Party for Tim Lowe Flash Fiction Contest.
A flash fiction contest!? Did I really see that? Huzzah! *Waves pom poms, sets off fire crackers*
So, in other words, when crafting your query ... show, don't tell. Where have I heard that before?!
Tim Lowe is heading back to Carkoon? I think he gets a free night by now with his loyalty card. Send us a postcard, Tim, if you can find a working pen.
Woo! I'll bring snacks to the party. Gotta have something to eat that isn't kale.
Tim, have fun harvesting your kale. Must be quite a lot - hasn't been anyone there to work the fields for a while ;)
Oooh, FF on Friday...
Epic.
Cheers! Hank
Yay! I am kicking myself that I didn't keep copies of anything I submitted. I've tried to turn short stories out of at least 2 of them and could probably do four if I could remember what I wrote in the first place
Yay! Flash fiction contest!!
Thank you, Tim, for making the supreme sacrifice. I have a recipe for tahini dressing that makes kale quite palatable. My family likes it with goldfish cracker croutons.
I'm new here. Where is the best place to find the flash fiction contest rules?How/can I participate?
Hi B.W. If this is like previous contests, Janet will post the rules and required prompt words on Friday and the contest will run from sometime Saturday morning through Sunday morning eastern standard time.
Hi Luralee, thank you!
Propulsive? Where am I being propelled to now?
Coming late to the party, I know. But looking forward to the flash fiction contest!
I am cheerfully awful at writing query letters (and jacket copy) and have very good friends who are willing to help me workshop such things into being less awful. (I've also run that bell and started self publishing novels, so we'll see when I'm next in the query trenches)
Honestly, even when I'm reading jacket copy and a book is "heartwarming!" etc. I'm still side eyeing it. Even more so when I'm ordering books at the library and see that a James Patterson listing on Ingram has this for the title "Missing Persons: A Private Novel: The Most Exciting International Thriller Series Since Jason Bourne" (normally I don't take shots at other writers, but I think James Patterson can handle it and/or it doesn't matter at his level)
I'm not much better at writing 100 word stories, but I'm looking forward to the prompt on Friday to see if I want to dip my toes in again!
"And the queriers who tell me their book is propulsive usually have a pacing problem." Bahahahahaha. Gold!
Cool, a FF contest. Are you going to pick a winner this time? I don't remember a final winner on the last one. I kept looking because a new person, Eastern Rose had such a compelling story about the onset of migraines that I wanted to cheer for her, but never saw the end count.
Sounds like we're getting the band back together!
When I hear propulsive, I think back to what my physician said about taking Alli(a fat-blocking med) and eating a bag of potato chips. Think of a toy rocket that uses water and air pressure to launch. He said patients have dented their bathroom ceilings.
He's a cousin, so I don't believe everything he says.
I'm looking forward to the Flash Fiction contest. I'm heading for Carkoon on Sunday for a kale fest with Tim, and most of us know how spotty cellular data is in that neck of the woods.
Good luck to all.
Bon voyage party for Tim! Just back from Italy, so I'll bring the wine. What can I say, theirs is as original and heartwarming as ours in France. Propulsive? After a few drinks, it'll get Tim to Carkoon in no time.
Chips and a side of confusion please.
Expert advice re Query Letter: “Do not mention theme/voice of your book is a completely groundbreaking story.” My book exposes law enforcement’s prolific and long-standing taboo practice of sexual abuse of marginalized minors. Helpful or irritating for an agent to know this?
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