Some years back a friend showed me her fancy new tea kettle that boiled so quickly I suspected Superman's eyeballs were the heat source.
But I didn't drink tea much at the time, so I didn't add this Super Kettle to the list of things I'd get "one of these days."
Fast forward to this year.
Holden Sheppard posted a picture of his kettle on Twitter and I didn't realize he meant his red kettle sitting on the stove in the background. I though it was some sort of Aussie phrase for a body part. (Holden is fondly known as Hubba Hubba Shepherd here at Shark Central.)
That reminded me of the kettle I'd seen lo, those many years ago. I do drink tea now but I also use boiling water to warm up the coffee pot and the coffee mug before I turn on the coffeemaker (this is a very neat trick but I only started using it when I began working from home and wasn't rushing to catch the 9:03 train.)
So I bought a red electric kettle.
It was darn cute.
I washed it carefully and plugged it in.
Superman was elsewhere (maybe working out with Holden Sheppard).
It took a while to get the water boiling.
So I compared the using the kettle with boiling water on the stove.
Same amount: 1 cup.
Ready set go.
Stove was more than 30 seconds faster.
What you also need to know is I don't pay for the natural gas that fuels the cooktop burners.
I do pay for electricity that runs the kettle.
So long kettle.
As is my habit when I have appliances (or pretty much anything) in working order that I no longer need,
I put it in a transparent plastic bag and hang it on the railing in front of my apartment building.
It's a time honored tradition in Brooklyn.
So, on my next jaunt out, I put the kettle out to find a new home.
Only when I was on the train did I realized I'd failed to include the instructions with the kettle. I rather hoped it would still be there when I got back.
But, as I came up out of the subway and walked up the street I saw "my" red kettle.
In the hands of the only man on our street that I really truly dislike.
He's an older guy, works (or hangs out) at the barbershop by the bodega. I actively dislike him because he torments the homeless guy who lives on our block. Once he even used a squirt gun to spritz the guy with water....and was laughing about it.
It was all I could do to not grab it out of his surly mitts snarling "you do NOT deserve the red kettle."
I settled for a disdainful sniff. He's probably used to that since it's pretty much my standard response to him.
But I'm kinda sorry my cute red kettle is now gone.
Have you regretted giving something away?