It was wonderful getting the flash fiction going again! It was a welcome respite from the mailing list woes I experienced this weekend. (more details on that if you want to hear them.)
Thanks to everyone who took the time to enter.
I enjoyed reading your work!
Here are the three finalists:
“Listen up, soldiers. We’re here for one thing, and one thing only. To rescue this impregnable jungle of tangled prose. Is it worth saving? Doesn’t matter. It’s our job.”
“Quiet, Webster. You’re on redundancy patrol. Search and destroy. Oxford!”
“You’ve got adverbs. Obliterate anything ending with -ly. Macmillan!”
“Strengthen those verbs.” She pulled a machete from her belt. “I’ll hack my way to a succinct ending.”
“Watch out, Sarge. It’s—"
“Get busy, Webster. I know what I’m doing. What th—AAIEEEE!”
“I tried to tell you, ma’am. It’s a cliffhanger!”
I'm a big fan of anything involving punctuation.
I'm hugely sorry that blogger does not support a font that allows the interrobang!
Prosecutor: Defendant is your wife?
Key Witness (from hospital bed, full body cast): Janet… Yes.
P: What happened?
KW: I… I should have… listened to Janet.
KW: She… wouldn’t have had… toss me… off the roof.
P: She’s guilty then?
KW: (groans) Yes
Public Defender: She “had to” toss you off the roof?
PD: Her action was justified?
KW: She told me… I… needed killing.
PD: But Mr. Frain, you’re not dead.
KW: Flash fiction… still hurts… like hell. (grimaces) Please… jail… make her stop.
Jury: Not guilty.
This is absolutely perfect
And deliciously meta!
“Listen, this is a big deal. Reef wants them back on a regular basis and three have gone missing. You crack this one and sky’s the limit, fail and it’s night watchman at McMurdo.”
“Got it. Witnesses?”
“Noisy neighbor in 5B. Claims she heard a girl scream, ‘AAIEEE!’ and a door slamming.”
“She step into the hallway?”
“Nope, peephole. The perp either ducked under or took the stairs.”
“So I’m looking for a guy somehow subdued five subjects, absconded with three of them, no clues, and a worthless witness?”
“Guy by the name of Forti.”
I can only hope that my beloved nemesis Mr. Forti will find justice at last!
All three of these were just terrific, but I have to give the top prize to Dena Pawling.
Dena, drop me a line about what kind of book you'd like to receive as a prize.
Thanks to all you who entered!