Results A Thon

I've been down for the count so long there are THREE posts with comment contributions to mention!

First is the photo of Chagrin Falls.
I asked you to describe character in 20 words or fewer.

Jenn Griffin

Espresso, ever-faithful rescue pup, waited eagerly for his person to share his Bacon & Gruyere Egg Bites.

You can tell us so much by what characters name their pets, what they eat, and what they feed their dogs!

This is very nice, very subtle, very effective description.

Eileen

It was a town where it seemed a Fourth of July parade could break out at any moment. Complete with kids with paper streams from their bike handles, the off key high school band and the mayor riding in his convertible.

This evokes the town perfectly.


John Davis Frain

The door swung open. I waited for Norman Rockwell to step out. Instead, it was the pastor. In his sheriff's uniform.

This is a really nice example of first person description.


Youse guyz brought your A-game to the Medic post!
These made me laugh so hard I snorted medicinal whisky out my gills.

Steve Forti

He's the Rockodile. He doesn't have a specialty, per se, but he does have a favorite Elton John song to blast while riding his steel horse down the highway.

Theresa

Looks like the flu-gator-abater is motoring to your rescue. Feel better soon.

Colin Smith

Dr. Allie Gaytor, the only physician in town brave enough to treat a shark. Her patients can be curmudgeonly, but she's as snappy as the worst of them. A few shots of medicinal whiskey soon makes everything right--for both of them. :)

french sojourn

Dr. Thelonious Monk Rx. ( T-Rx )

A Doctor that specializes in the medicine of the soul, sure to Jazz up your life, when you're feeling the Blues.

JanR

Feel better Janet! I hope Dr. Gnash there, the mordologist, restores your chomp soon.

Lee Nire

Have a care, Janet, and do beware!

You mustn't trust that moto-bike mountebank.
He specializes in balderdash and chicanery.
He believes bloodletting means letting him have some blood.

This disreputable reptile would negotiate a nefarious nostrum, would offer snake oil to a shark, a quack remedy for a queen.

Stay under the blanket until he's gone. (T-Rex cannot see you if you don't move.)
Get well soon.

Claire Bobrow

Sorry you're under the weather again, Janet. Hope the V8 helps! I'm not sure ol' Rx T. Rex is the medic you need. His specialty is Dino sores.

AJ Blythe

Crook-a-dial...kinda like Uber Eats, but comes bearing V8, paracetomol and the entire set of Coupling DVDs.

(Is "crook" an Aussie word? In case I need to translate, it means sick.)

NLiu

My MIL feeds us yangmeijiu if we get sick. It's a type of Chinese fruit steeped in something that's about a gazillion percent proof. It doesn't matter if it doesn't kill off the bugs, because you won't feel your throat after swallowing it.

Surprisingly effective.

Something you might like to try??

Slithery Flash Fiction Contest result

Kudos for a great line:
Steve Forti (of course)
Thwart plotting’ is not a deductible business loss.

Here is the short list of entries that stood out this week.

NLiu

There was once a woman who set out to find the perfect kiss.

Money no object.

Naïve, she thought her first would be perfect.

It wasn't.

Neither was her fiftieth.

She imagined it was the guy. So she switched up: the fierce, the funny. The female.

Nope.

Was it circumstantial? She investigated: cruise ships, ancient ruins, flared skirts and seedy bars. A fervent snog by the Seine.

Imperfect. Lacking.

She tried princes. She tried frogs. Eventually, she just tried.

In the end, she wept. "I only wanted one perfect kiss!"

"What, like this?" asked Death.

And took her breath away.

Talk about take your breath away.
This is perfect.

S.D..King

“Muerte.”

Maria shivered. “Feels funny – so empty - quiet.” She rolled her cart off the elevator. “Buenas noches, Lupe."

A bomb scare emptied the IRS building at noon, yet night staff were required.

The first offices were tidy, probably away on audits, but here - papers everywhere.

She attempted to dust around documents when a name caught her eye. A name that fiercely kept Carlos from her. Her nostrils flared as she fingered through sheaves.

Glancing around, she cleared the desk into her cart, then fervently emptied five more boxes. Next- elevator to parking garage. Cousin Luis cleaned at CNN.

I normally don't go for the political topics much. There are a lot of us here and we don't all think alike. But this was so lovely and evocative, I could not pass it by.


Mallory Love

First, there was light, fierce in intensity. A flare so blinding, minutes passed before shapes appeared.

Then, she was in a kitchen. Two women sat on barstools, talking. In the corner, a little girl entertained at a table. Stuffed animals filled three small chairs, while two elderly gentlemen filled the remainder. Such a funny sight.

The girl, spotting her, fervently waved her over. The women paid her no attention.

“You’re young.”

“Probably an accident. Sad.” The old men shook their heads.

“Tea?” offered the girl.

“Don’t mind Libby,” one woman said to the other. “She’s playing with her imaginary friends.”

Lovely and subtle.


Lee Nire

"It wants our lunch!" Charlie guarded his food, but cowered before the fierce beast. He stumbled backward, gasping, as sand sloughed away beneath his feet.

"It wants us for lunch," Sam said, bent in fervent prayer. Fight, flight, or have faith, he thought.

The beast lumbered toward them, gurgling, nostrils aflare. It'd be funny, it's wobbling gait, if it weren't so hideous. Artificial coconut wafted off gangly limbs as it reached for them.

Charlie gulped crabmeat. Sam just cried for mercy.

Another beast, bigger than the first, said, "Jaydin, leave them seagulls be, child, you're making em squawk something awful!"

I had to read this three times to suss it out.
It was worth it.

MA Hudson

Headed to NYC, show ‘em how it’s done.
First out the plane, first out the gates, at JFK.

Set off the flares.
Set off the fireworks.
The city’s impatient, waiting for the likes of me.

But whoa, hold on... that’s funny.
No one notices, anything.

Not my fervent theatrical frown.
Not my fiercely angelic alto.
Not my death defying dance steps.

Triple threats’ serve coffee around here.

I head home... with my head held low.

Back to the bottom of the ladder.
Back to one rung at a time.
Back... to doing it for fun.

This just breaks my heart.

Karen McCoy

“I’ve been commercialized into a joke,” The Easter Bunny moaned.

The Tooth Fairy shrugged. “You are kinda cuddly.”

“You ever see rabbits in the wild? I am fierce!” The Easter Bunny growled fervently.

“But there’s no superiority behind it. You need an RBF first.”

The Easter Bunny frowned. “RBF?”

“Resting Bitch Face. Like this.” The Tooth Fairy narrowed her eyes into flares.

“Let me see.” The Easter Bunny scrunched up her face.

The Tooth Fairy said, “No. Stop. I guess there’s always that Rabbit, Rabbit thing. Jump on that, maybe.”

“Not funny,” The Easter Bunny deadpanned.

I'm a sucker for these "out of character" stories.


Michael Seese

"The first rule of clownage. Be funny," Tooty said, pulling a rubber chicken, and a live chicken, from his roadside-flare red hair disaster.

"Be funny. Got it."

I scribbled fervently, capturing his words of fooldom on a page torn from Clowning For Dummies, aka the Bible Of Buffoonery. Being that today was my first day on the job, I couldn't make an ass of my... The point being, competition for these gigs is fierce. Guys literally fall over themselves to snag one.

"Okay, what's the second rule?"

"Be unpredictable," Tooty said, delivering my diploma via a pie to the face.

You had me at roadside-flare red hair disaster.

This is funny without being over the top, a very hard balance to strike.
Of course, this is Michael Seese; we've come to expect this kind of perfection.


But this week my heart belongs to NLiu.

NLiu if you'll send me your email address I'll pop a copy of Funny You Should Ask in the mail to you. If you already have a copy (excellent choice!) we'll come up with an alternative.


Thanks to all of you who took the time to write stories and enter the contest.
There is a truly terrifying amount of talent here.