I don't know why you have this most-excellent fierce red dragon, but I love him. I think he'd fit right in with the herd at Proud Spirit. I can see him frolicking in the woods and dancing across the pastures. I'd name him Horse. Only because we have a horse named Dragon.
I'm late to the party, but perhaps because you too are looking for a handyman. This is the ad I placed on craig'slist recently:
I'm looking for a handyman/carpenter. Initially I need a kitchen sink plumbed, correctly this time, and will be needing two exterior doors replaced. Other work down the road. I need someone who: 1. Knows what they are doing. Priority. 2. Will show up or call when they say they're going to. 3. Is not subject to: a. Heart attacks. (at least remember the details.) b. Car wrecks. (see above.) c. Emergency choir practice. (Yes, I'm serious.) Now, if your excuse is you had to fight a dragon, that's completely understandable as long as you dispatch the dragon quickly, so you can also dispatch my chores. Fighting dragons, after all, is good and noble.
49 comments:
Sharks swim.
Dragons fly.
Janet, ruler of the seas, now rules the skies.
Beware her hot breath.
Your giraffe and a half with a rat in his hat wasn't enough. You needed a dragon in a wagon.
Someone sent you an amazing card.
You now have a copy of Genevieve Jacks’ new book “Manhattan Dragon” which you are saving for a prize?!?
Popup pops up a puffing dragon! Pretty perfect puffer. :)
I have no idea why you have a dragon...
Adoptadragon rescue organization asked you to foster this little guy while they search for a suitable fantasy series home.
Backup support for when the shark needs a nap.
You keep this as a reminder to stop going to your Friday night Spicy Enchilada dinners with Barbara Poelle.
The dragon curse has been cast. Commit the deed to pass it on or suffer the consequence.
I don't know why you have this most-excellent fierce red dragon, but I love him. I think he'd fit right in with the herd at Proud Spirit. I can see him frolicking in the woods and dancing across the pastures. I'd name him Horse. Only because we have a horse named Dragon.
Because SOMEBODY has to provide a home to fierce red dragons. Might as well be you.
Subway be damned, Janet arrives in style to introduce Query Dragon. His query for you: “Have you read the archives?”
It’s a message from the DOY:
Send tuna now, or face my fiery wrath!
You're as fierce as a dragon.
Because "thoughts are things — they have tenacity, coherence, and life," — and somebody just sent you a fiction novel.
You don't have a dragon. The dragon has you.
Based on your impeccable resume and a rare positive reference from DOY, you've been named Keeper of the Red Dragon.
Dragons are the new Basilisks.
Her Sleekness the Duchess of Yowl hacked up one heckuva hairball. Too much Halloween candy.
Because placid red dragons are boring.
red dragons breathe fires of creativity and burns the dross out of bloated manuscripts
It's your Hogwarts letter at last! Hogwarts has decided you need a house all to yourself, symbolized by Puff the Magic Dragon.
The shark's teeth are being polished and you needed some way to nibble on writers.
With only four claws, it's not a true Imperial dragon in Chinese lore. So Barabara Poelle must have sent it.
Because you're catching up with the rest of us. :)
To dracarys. Why else?
Bad news, Sir, we’ve got another escapee sighting. It's all over social media. Huh? Whaddayamean, voice to text? Oh sh--
For safety. Thomas Harris and Guest planned to dine. They were either going to have you dragon-sit or have you for dinner.
Winter's coming and everybody knows flaming dragon breath is cheaper than Con Ed.
When enough treasure is amassed, a dragon will arrive to hoard it. This literary dragon has seen your slush pile.
It's the first clue from a serial killer sending you on a dangerous scavenger hunt.
You are now the Query Dragon
Dragons need no explanation.
[PS- Could I perhaps entice her away from you once I finish my dragon story? I'm going to need a fact-checker/sensitivity reader . . . ]
[PPS- Whoever wrote that note has impressively legible penmanship.]
Not a dragon. It’s a pan lung, and your house is rife with them. Call the exterminator at 1-800-PAN-LUNG.
Because wimpy blue dragons aren’t worth keeping around.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that an agent in possession of a good manuscript must be in want of a dragon."
Apologies to Ms. Austen of course.
That's your red pen in its true form, isn't it?
The Alot and Spiderpuss need a mediator.
“At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi.” -Darth Yowl
You just found the perfect way to announce you now rep YA fantasy.
[Ouch! Ow! Hot! Claws!! AaaaAAArghhhhhhh!]
If you have to ask, it's already too late.
Run.
Because after an inspiring workout montage set to 80s music, you gave a timid red dragon confidence in herself.
Your packed flight ran out of everything except spicy meatball tacos. You unleashed your ire on the helpless manuscript you were reading.
Foster parent for dragons in need of a home.
An email from a disgruntled querier contained an ancient curse of illiteracy. The dragon's proximity negates the curse.
New business: renting out dragons to breathe down the necks of NaNoWriMo writers trying to make their daily word count.
Looks like someone broke The Great Stone Dragon. Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow. Um. blinks Dishonor on something?
I'm late to the party, but perhaps because you too are looking for a handyman. This is the ad I placed on craig'slist recently:
I'm looking for a handyman/carpenter. Initially I need a kitchen sink plumbed, correctly this time, and will be needing two exterior doors replaced. Other work down the road.
I need someone who:
1. Knows what they are doing. Priority.
2. Will show up or call when they say they're going to.
3. Is not subject to:
a. Heart attacks. (at least remember the details.)
b. Car wrecks. (see above.)
c. Emergency choir practice. (Yes, I'm serious.)
Now, if your excuse is you had to fight a dragon, that's completely understandable as long as you dispatch the dragon quickly, so you can also dispatch my chores. Fighting dragons, after all, is good and noble.
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