Monday, November 18, 2019

Shark For Brains Flash Fiction contest results

All y'all were in rare form this weekend.

Why do I even try?
Steve Forti 6-Janet 0

My new favorite phrase
C. Dan Castro
Fort-thwart strategies

Talk about a twist!
Jennifer Delozier

Homage to my bio pic the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Megan V

Sadly disqualified for time
Claire Bobrow

The Duchess of Yowl has a new name for all dogs
courtesy of Unknown 3:22pm 
Doggy MacAlkeyFace

Here are the entries that I think deserve special recogniton

Once upon a time, I fell in love head under heels; had it been the other way around, things might have gone differently. Cupid and his fucked-up aim! I always tell him, go see an optometrist, or, at least, take archery lessons.

"This is your own stupid fault," Janet snarled, "always stomping around the place."

"Pray tell, what must a gnome do?"

"Do yourself in, for all I care. This marriage's done. I'm taking the hut, carriage, gold spindles, and our firstbor--"


And thus she vanished, in a puff of powdery air.

Agitating Rumplestiltskin? Never a good idea.

Timothy Lowe
One little update and you’re snowed under. Snarls of e-mails, muddles of files --

“You can’t do that.”


“Talk to your audience. It’s called --”

“I know what it’s called. Get off my lap.”

“I will not.”

“Let me work in peace!”

Sheesh. Grumpy Cat is my worst critic. Always picking apart everything I do.

“Don’t do that,” GC cautions. “Or you’ll be deader than . . . you know.”

“Want catnip?”

“I want good writing.”

I snap the cage closed. “Let’s see you break that fourth wall!”

Back at the keyboard, I crack my knuckles.

This (story) is your own stupid fault, Janet . . .

I’m Sasha the dog.
My two-legger brought home a dunderheaded dog today.
She said it was a cat.
I snarled.
I never heard of a cat.
Don’t like it, I grumped.
Smells weird.
Has a stupid bark.
Asks for food when it still has half a bowl. What a dodo.
Then I heard the worst thing from my two-legger, “I’m a cat person.”
I brought her my leash.
Here’s something that idiot won’t do.
“Don’t worry. I’m a dog person too,” she said.
She opened the door, the cat bolted.
It’s your own stupid fault Janet.
What a bad dog.

Jenn Griffin
At last up, I delivered my best rendition of “Go-going to the chapel,” as I teetered up the aisle.
The result was gr-grum. Possibly because I’m tone-deaf. And d-drunk.
My ma-maid of honor actually turned and s-snarled.
I belched when I reached the altar.
“It’s all your stupid fault, Jan.” Etiquette be d-damned, I hurled my bou…bou… flowers in the groom’s face.
Hope had died under the deluge of newly discovered texts. “I do-do not take this man, Jan. You can have him. Since it appears you already did.”

Today the gawpers carry coats, grumpy about the rain. But in here it's perfect: dry, great temperature. Always is, behind my glass.

“What's she thinking about?" A girl, nose against my window.

"Nothing, stupid. It's stuffed. Dumb if you ask me." Dunderhead boy drags her away.

The girl doesn't even snarl. Like she's used to this kind of thing.

So when she turns for a final glimpse, I tilt my head. Just a little. And wink.

Dead as a dodo, eh? Well, long as I'm here, I'm keeping imagination alive.

One wink at a time.

Sherin Nicole
Down by the river, I spy that snarl-headed McPherson. Like his kin, you kin tell he’s dunder brained. He keeps stroking them purple flowers and tilling the earth ‘round them with cow dodo.

Like that’ll make ‘em grow.

And he hums. It gives me the grumps.

I suppose.

So, I’ll keep watching him. We Perrys don’t hold with McPhersons. We drink blood or they’re moonstruck animals. The origins is fuzzy. Yet there’s something in his melody. Maybe I’ll go drink from yonder river. Ask him a question or two. And find out just how stupid the McPhersons are (for myself).

Given my ABYSMAL performance announcing last week's winners I've already posted this week's but it won't go live until later in the day.

I have noble intentions on Monday morning but the day gets away from me as often as not. And the rest of the week is worse.

Do let me know your opinions here though. And if you think I left anyone off the list. Posts can be revised up until the last minute!


nightsmusic said...

I'm interested to see who wins. I wouldn't have wanted to try and choose this week!

Colin Smith said...

I thought Jenn Griffin's would be a finalist when I first read it, so I'm sticking with that as my pick of a very good bunch.

Will MacPhail said...

I too liked Jenn's.

Aphra Pell said...

NLiu doe me today. I'm always up for a museum dodo.

NLiu said...

SamaraG made me laugh so much. I even had to read her entry to my husband. Because funny must be shared. So she gets my vote.

Aphra Pell: thank you! You can museum dodo with me absolutely any time you like.

Going to enjoy my Scotch and wait for the final results right here.

Megan V said...

NLiu for me today. Loved it <3

Lennon Faris said...

Oh they are all fantastic, but NLiu's is extraordinary and gets my vote today. I am such a sucker for imaginative things like that (also very well done with the sensory imagery).

Congrats, folks and excellent job!

Just Jan said...

Really tough crowd today--all of these finalists have such clever stories! I loved NLiu's entry when I read it yesterday, so that's the one that gets my vote.

Claire Bobrow said...

Picking a winner in this contest is like trying to choose just one from a box of equally tantalizing chocolates. Practically impossible!

I love a good Rumplestiltskin story, and a prankster Dodo is hard to resist, but I can't stop thinking about those dunder-brained Perrys & McPhersons, either.

Congrats mentions, finalists, and all who entered. Good luck choosing, Janet!

Karen McCoy said...

I also liked Jenn Griffin's! Had to sit this one out due to other weekend activities, but always love reading the entries!

Kate Larkindale said...

I really like Jenn Griffin's. I don't envy you, having to judge these...

Craig F said...

From the list I would pick Casual-T

I also think Dena's should have a shout out. It whomped me upside the head more than any other.

Cecilia Ortiz Luna said...

Loved NLiu's and Jenn Griffin's entries.

Casual-T said...

Haha!! Winking Dodos... What's next, pigs in top hats? And those Perrys and McPhersons sound like pleasant folks; the kind you'd like to spend a quiet evening with, I'm sure. And don't you just hate it when the maid of honor doesn't do justice to her title. Great stuff all around. As per usual, I do not envy Janet's task of choosing a winner. But let's face it, she's the one putting us through the ringer, week after week, so I say: "It's your own stupid fault, Janet!"

@Craig F... Much appreciate the shout out!

Timothy Lowe said...

NLiu for sure!
Madeleine Mora-Summonte also made me gasp. Very creepy, and the POV and twist are sublime!