At long last, the flash fiction contest results.

I should have just lied through my fangs and said all your entries required so much dictionary time that results would be late.

Truthfully of course, I was on a reading binge Monday-Wednesday, and by Thursday and Friday I was cleaning up all the stuff that got pushed from M-W. 160K tomes will do that to you!

The good news is the bio is quite amazing, and I can't wait to be able to talk about it! (Probably a year; editing this is going to take some time, but that's someone else's job!)

Herewith, at long last, results!


Aphra Pell sends me to Word School!

fornent (wait, it's not there!)
fortalice (not there either!)
formicaries (aha! ant's nests!)

Unknown chordata

Lance: shabbaba (not there)

Sandra J: fortalice

Jenn Griffin: fortin (not there, so I googled, and it turns out to mean little fort, and it's so obscure it's ONLY in the MW Unabridged edition.  Thanks Jenn, now I need to buy a NEW dictionary!)

KD James: Tardigrada, arthropoda


Special recognition for a great line
Marie McKay

The canals stank of misfortune.

NLiu: It's so bleak, the muse never visits.

nightmusic scares the salt from my sea!

Angel L does too

Brilliant juxtaposition of unicorns and rhinos!
Laurel Neme


CarolynnWith2Ns cracked me up

Megan V did too

"A fortifying beverage, your majesty?"
"No, no, Fortescue.” The Queen said. “What I need is a Forti-defying beverage."

Why do I even try.
Phylum!! He used PHYLUM!!

Steve Forti

Dana came to Prague for the chance to work with her dream director, but he’d been ignoring her for ten minutes, listening to some local extra talk in great detail about her wordless cameo. If I end the audition, she thought. No, there aren’t many killer lead roles for timid forty-something actresses.

Still, she bit her tongue when he dropped his pants and the extra joined him in, well, public pornography.

Lumbering back, the director shook Dana’s hand. “You got the part.”

“What the hell was that?”

He shrugged. “Before I hire anyone, I always do a thorough background Czech.”

honestly, I surrender.
This is world class word play.
I'm outclassed.




Even Casual-T recognized my pain

O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis… The choir’s triple-forte shook me awake. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy an evening at Carnegie Hall as much as the next gal, but I’d been going forty hours straight, searching for six words to finally thwart Forti. It’s no picnic, being a literary agent in NYC, you know. Cocktail parties, celebrity meetings, author’s bribes… Oh, it’s all such a drag. But what really irks me, is that Steve keeps besting me.

Hold on; let me check this week’s contest.

Argh… Forti you fiend, you’ve outsmarted me again. Come and get your trophy, Lummox!

Special recognition
Just Jan

It ain’t easy being Four.

“Without you,” sniffs Eight, “there’d be no double-dates. Your position’s admirable.”

I disagree. Stuck between the fiendish threesome and high-five, I’m upstaged constantly.

“Watch your elbows!” they say. All straight lines and angles, it’s hard to fortify myself between their voluptuous curves.

“I get no respect,” Twenty whines.

Guess what? Thirty is the zest; Fifty, a fortress. No one wants to be Forty. Even at Christmas, I’m challenged.

“What’s a colly bird?” asks Nine.

I rest my case.

Six sighs. “You have love.”

Adornment of my namesake digit? Not my forte, but I’ll take it.

This is so clever I read it twice just to laugh again.
The colly bird line is perfection.




Luralee

The family sat in stony silence.
Timothy Fortesque chose a box from the mountain of gifts and read the label--for:Timmy. "May I open it now?" No one objected. He tore off the paper. "Little surgeon set! Awesome!" He fingered the scalpel--so realistic. Now he could do the job properly.
"Thanks for this, Uncle Gus!"
Cadaver smiles all around.
Who's next? Not Gertrude. Old fiend might pass for forty, but she smelled of atrophy, lumbago, and formaldehyde.

Yesterday, Father complained Tim hadn't gotten his brain along with his looks.

He had it now.

Cadaver smiles all around just slides in like an ice pick doesn't it?




french sojourn

“Forty days and forty nights of rain… just for teaching them faith.”

“Bullshit, that was written later.”

“I can give you scripture and verse, my son.”

“Well… ok, maybe, but it didn’t go as per plan, so heavenly in its simplicity, right father?”

“Mistakes were made, lest we never forget… for time heals all wounds.”

“Listen, I know Noah worked his ass off, but he was completely miscast.”

“The man fiendishly built an ark, he laid away stores, he was flawless in his faith… who did he disappoint?”

“Well, how about Philip and Ernie, you know… the two unicorns.”

absolute subtle perfection here



Timothy Lowe

For teething: liquid ibuprofen and a benzocaine necklace.

For timid steps along the foyer hall: a ring pop pacifier.

For toilet-training: M and Ms (#1), donut holes (#2).

For tying your shoes: a bag of snickers (baby-size).

For the T-ball tournament (4th place): a shiny trophy, lumberjack-proud on your shelf.

For a C in history: a nasty blast email to the teacher.

For coming home with the sheriff: I endeavor to explain.

For tying one on, wallpapering the living room in puke: a shiny new Lexus.

For T-boning a school bus, a gentle head shake: “When will you learn?”

and speaking of subtle.
everything that's on the page shapes the story, but the story is what isn't said.
Brilliant work Tim.



LynnRodz

I'm invisible. I can walk down the street, go into a store, and no one sees me. I can speak and not be heard. Neat, right? Is this an autobiography lumped together with science fiction, you wonder.

No. I wasn't always this way, quite the opposite. For the longest time I wished to be invisible, but careful what you wish for. Test the waters first. Then again, you can't.

If I ended up this way, well I'm not alone and don't judge me for typecasting. We're millions out there and just you wait, for time will render you invisible too. 

How interesing it would be to have a crime novel depend on the idea that people don't see middle-aged women. Undercover in plain sight.


Hannah

“We’ve a bet going. It might cause a fuss.”
“Cut me in. Terms?” the bartender asked.
“We need to fortify ourselves.”
“Roger thinks someone’ll buy our drinks.”
“Steven thinks our talent won’t impress your clientele.”
“Nothing impresses them. Twenty for Steve. Whaddya planning?”
“I played Hamlet in my youth. Well, Fortinbras. Practically the same.”
“We could use the piano instead,” Steven suggested.
“Heart and Soul” never sounded worse. Their fingers flew like fiends from forte to pianissimo.
“HEY! You’re awful. Everyone’s gone.”
“Good,” they said.
Roger slapped down forty. Steven pulled a .40.
“We’ll need that back. With the register.”

I always love a good caper story, and this one is hilarioius to boot. And these two lines are cracked me up.
“I played Hamlet in my youth. Well, Fortinbras. Practically the same.”


flashfriday

After a week the casseroles stopped coming. Jeanne shoved the extras in the freezer, disassembled his blanket-fort, boxed up his Legos, and went back to work.

Play the dirge piano,
--pianissimo--
(shhhh)

“Tissue?”
“Thanks,” said Jeanne, blowing her nose with fiendish force.
“You still cry a lot.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s been a long time though.”
“Not that long,” said Jeanne.

Sing the dirge now mezzo,
--mezzavoce--
(shhhh)

“He’d be forty today.”
“Wow. Crazy. Life goes on, I guess.”
“Does it?” said Jeanne.

Shout the foul dirge forte,
Shout the foul dirge forte,
SHOUT THE FOUL DIRGE FORTE,
--FORTISSIMO----------------------------------------------------

Like Timothy Lowe, what's here isn't the story but the story is crystal clear in what isn't on the page.
Brilliant writing.



Of course, this was an insane choice.
Any one of these isn't "better" than the others. They're all absolutely wonderful in their own right, and could have been chosen for the prize.

This week though, JustJan really made me laugh, and that's what felt right.

The other entries, particulary my beloved nemesis Steve Forti, were all amazing. I'm in awe of the talent that turns up here in these contests.

Thanks to all of you who took the time to write and post.
It's always a pleasure to read your work.

Jan, drop me a line and let's get your prize worked out!