My now-former agent was a nincompoop. Missed calls, missed royalty statements, vast swaths of silence when I emailed.
We didn't part amicably at all.
I sent her a flaming bag of dog poop and a certified letter firing her and suggesting she take up a new line of work. Well, ok, that last part was in the first draft, not the final.
So, how do I mention this fine kettle of fish in my query.
Bonus question: how do I avoid signing with her evil twin this next time around?
No matter how you parted from a previous agent it is referred to as amicably in a query.
I don't need to tell you that "my former agent is a nincompoop" raises red flag on this side of the slush.
And yes, I know there are nincompoops, more than a few in fact, out there.
And there are agents whose working style just doesn't mesh with a particular author.
And I have former clients who probably think *I* am a nincompoop.
So, tread lightly.
Have a list of the things you're looking for with a new agent. "Good communication" doesn't have to be "she never answered my emails". It can be "Good communication means my emails are answered within a day or two, or at least acknowledged."
Talking about why you're looking for a new agent is NOT the same thing as venting about the old.
As to avoiding this in the future: talk to any new agent prospect's clients. I never cherry pick a list; you're free to get in touch with any of them.
I'm sure there are days they think I'm doing ok, and days when they'd like to send me flaming bags of dog (nincom)poop.
10 comments:
Ouch. Every time I hear about one of these situations, a writer who has secured agent (and book deals) and has to say good-bye and go back into the agent securing query trenches of doom again, I shiver all over. How difficult is that.
I feel certain there are agents that have clients they wish they had never signed as well. That is life. Sort of like that first spouse you'd like to forget. But man, if there was a secret to avoid these kind of uncomfortable circumstances, I would love to hear it.
And then there are the times when nobody’s a nincompoop but things just don’t work out as anyone hoped. My friend seemed to hit the jackpot a couple of years ago when she queried her fourth (maybe fifth) MG MS, got a mad flurry of requests for fulls, and within a few days found herself courted by three agents. She did her homework, checked in with their clients, and chose the agent whose list was the the best fit for her current work and future career plans. They worked well together on revisions and the novel went out on submission and then...nothing. Positive feedback from editors but in the end they all passed. My friend sent her agent new work, but the agent started having some health issues and communication became sporadic... and my friend had personal challenges of her own... and the relationship gradually fizzled and ended. Nobody’s fault, really, but it’s a hard road. My friend is tenacious and she will get there, someday. Meanwhile, agents are human, too, except when they’re selachian.
I had to look up selachian. Should have known that one by now ;-)
I'm with EM - it's got to be so hard to get an agent, get to the next step of the ladder, then have to climb back down. Even without nincompoops, that could lead to resentment and a bitter parting. If one party is clearly at fault, it must be very hard to keep quiet and professional about it. Kudos to OP for having the presence of mind to create multiple drafts of the parting letter.
This is about being professional. I don't think there's a single field out there where it's appropriate to openly trash-talk someone you worked closely with (except politics, I guess). The truth will out--and it's far better to be well-away from the fray when it does.
Timidly, I admit I also had to look up selachian. For a friend, of course, I just wanted a little help pronouncing some of the sub-orders and sub-classes.
Whew.
BTW, is anyone from the Reef heading to Nashville this weekend for the Story Grid? Let's hook up while we learn and get punished.
JDF - if you can sneak away and like music, I strongly suggest visiting The Station Inn. Best bluegrass I ever heard in a church basement setting. Very unassuming building but incredible music, and all for a $15 cover (my wife and I were thirty feet from the band). Also, if you like Mexican food, Bakersfield is a must.
My first day back to the blog after moving from Alabama to Texas and I not only had to look up selachian but also the words in the definition of selachian.
I got a giggle out of "bags of dog (nincom)poop" - clever.
Heartily seconding Timothy Lowe’s recommendation of The Station Inn for anyone who’s heading to Nashville! I’ve only been to Nashville once, 27 years ago, for the wedding of a college roomie who had been a Belle Meade debutante. After a solid week of Gatsbyesque lawn parties feting the nuptial couple — each more posh than the last — it was a relief to slip into the cool, gritty dark of The Station Inn for the Sunday Night Jam and listen to some of the finest bluegrass I have ever heard.
Thanks for this. I am in this boat and it is really hard to get back out there.
This question is late so I don't know if you'll answer, but... Do we have to figure out an agent's clients and their contact info, or will the offering agent provide us with a list?
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