The Duchess of Yowl's patented Serve Me stare |
Thumbs has her sadly no-whiskered face in a book this morning.
She's ignoring me.
This is totally unacceptable.
Although, there was sushi delivered for dinner last night, so she is not totally in the Doghouse. YET.
She says she has to read slowly cause it's so good and she'll be done soon because the book is the prize in the next writing contest.
The writing contest topic should of course be ME.
While I wait for her to get her priorities straight, you may tell me how beautiful I am.
19 comments:
Dear Duchess,
you are incomparable.
Signed,
An Admirer.
Dear most excellent Duchess:
Please accept my condolences on the appalling lack of service you are receiving by the whisker-less face of Thumbs. I, on the other hand, do have whiskers on my face. And at the risk of stating the oh-so-obvious, whiskers look much more beautiful on your face than on mine.
I wish you many more days of sushi to come.
Your obedient subject
Dena
Oh Duchess,
You are a stunning beauty! That nose, those eyes!
What perfection!
Purrrrfectly beautiful.
And that's from a dog-lover.
Dearest Duchess,
What ears! What whiskers! What devastating green eyes! I would compare you to a summer's day, but frankly you would be insulted by the comparison.
And Thumbs is mistreating you, you say?
Je suis dévasté!
I suggest ordering lobster using that oblong plastic thingy Thumbs keeps in her purse. It's what servants are for, n'est pas?
Many grovels,
NLiu
Your Grace, you remain a prize among felines, the pentacle of cats.
Dear Duchess,
Your Grace
Has a most unique face
A beauty rare
Without compare
Sorry Darling. You are specatular but my three cats have their noses out of joint because of the from door construction. They would be even more put out if'n I wrote about you.
Apologizes again.
You have that halting beauty, albeit a monochromatic grey version, of the Pink Panther.
...cue the Henry Mancini theme music, my good man.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OPc7MRm4Y8
To DoY: A few words from the 51-inch Maine Coon Mister Furkles
When they attempt to ignore you:
(1) If using a computer, sit on the keyboard
(2) If reading a book, sit on the book
(3) IF napping, sit on their face or their head.
If none of these suffice, scratch something they regard as important, e.g. unroll all the toilet paper onto the floor. Alternatively, push something that breaks onto the floor.
These suggestions are accumulation over several generations of kitties needing attention.
If using a computer...go for the mouse, naturally.
...If all else fails, wail incessantly. Sharp, piecing decibels that cannot be ignored. When your staff do approach, do not let them pet you. They have to feel your pain of rejection and earn back your approval. --continued words of wisdom from another feline
Lookin' good as always, DoY!
My dear Duchess,
You are looking very fine this morning. Have you lost weight? It suits you!
Your whiskers are looking lush and trim, your fur sleek and shining with the luster of a thousand silver pieces.
All in all, you are an incomparable beauty.
XXX
Your Grace –
While my houman servant was occupied doing whatever she does when she is not attending to my needs, I read your post and immediately sympathized. Yes, these servants can be a challenge at times. My head servant is somewhat efficient in responding to my needs, but she insists on permitting other animals to reside in my domain. By bent of my superior intellect, I can control the two canines who insist on sharing my couch and occasionally sticking their noses into my business. They are nice enough and do share their toys and food with me, but…oh my, they are incapable of intelligent conversation. You are, obviously, a feline of refinement and grace, not to mention extremely beautiful. One can only hope your servant learns to be more responsive to your needs.
I would like to see Mister Furkles.
No canines allowed in the Queendom here. Ramona rules and Harper is the loyal lesser royal, AKA The Prince.
Dear Duchess - My daughter is obsessed with Warrior Cats. Do you think you're more ThunderClan or ShadowClan?
When the Revolution comes, the entitled aristocracy always goes first.
Just letting you know.
Lassie
To Her Grace, the Duchess of Yowl,
So sleek and shiny . . .
So glossy and gorgeous . . .
What Beauty! What Grace!
Silky and satiny . . .
Furry and purry . . .
Purr . . . Purr . . . Purrfectly purry.
Purr . . . Purr . . . Purr.
This litany of feline purrfection has been found acceptable by my plebeian moggie, Jenny-Cat-of-the-Shining-Black-Fur. We humbly hope it pleases Your Grace as well.
~ MaggieJ
Duchess: with incomparable regal form such as yours, along with that piercing stare, one wonders why you are not the Queen of Yowl.
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