Words I had to look up
People who are going to receive an audio sound track of groaning
The day started with murder…
Specifically, my murder…
It went downhill from there…
Like a watermelon precariously perched on Pikes Peak…
If you’re looking to get off-ed in Colorado…
I’m thinking getting plunked on the melon with a melon ain’t the way I’d want to go…
Looks like I’m gonna be way out in front at any seed-spitting contest…
My girlfriend wanted to get married, but I cantaloupe…
Honeydew quickly became honey don’t…
Murder is usually involved when things get puny around here…
Looks like the time’s ripe for forensics…
Speaking of Fiber…I got Fiber coming out my ears… literally…
Outstanding opening line
The day started with murder and ended with cosmetology.
Outstanding second line:
Chad brought a live chicken to his dorm at four in the morning two hours after a drunken fight with Abby about the difference between vegans and douchbags.Joh Davis Frain
Ashes keep secrets better than I ever could.
Outstanding final lines
Monday is murder. Tuesday is robbery.
Outstanding line for all seasons and reasons
“Ma’am, there’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich stuck to your head.”Christina
At 2 am the target walked out of the bar into a bullet
A descriptive phrase for the ages
Where There's a Quill
(the marching band) dominos to a halt
Steve Forti is now just toying with me for his own amusement.
“Theda, y?” started W. “I th-“
M, Ur derisive attitude towards us true starlets has gone on long enough!
Martin turned to studio boss W. Caldwell. “See? This is what I’m talking about.
Talking. I can’t have a conversation when all her responses are on title cards.”
“I thought you two worked this out,” W finished.
This vamp will not acquiesce to your silly Talkies!.
Martin sighed, frowning at his broken director’s chair. “Get with the times, Ms. Bara. The silent era is over.” He pointed. “You don’t want to speak, quit the picture. But stop breaking my chairs!”
The fact that he's involved Theda Bara in his shenanigans ...perfect.
Here's the semi-final list.
Writer of Wrongs
Here's the list of stories I think deserve special notice
The day started with murder! Two bodies this time. Was I Shocked? Repulsed? No. I’m a “cleaner.” My job is cleaning up messes like this—wiping up bloody evidence, leaving no trace, visible or otherwise. I am the best there is.
Under the pea green armchair.
I had gone back to the scene to check one more time when I spotted the remaining body part.
I no sooner cleaned up this bit when people started arriving to dinner. And I spotted the murderer behind the chair with yet another mouse in his mouth.
When I first read this, I thought it was a cleaner like Harvey Keitel in Pulp Fiction.
Then the twist!
I love stories with twists!
The day started with murder. 24 points.
Mike plays croze straight onto a triple letter score. Smug git.
Grandma’s in the background. “Your sister always loved Christmas”
Ha! At least 6 ft under, she’s free from Boxing Day games.
“Qualms. Double word and 40 points for me.” Vi, all marshmallow smiles and acrid eyes.
Qualms – what I lack.
Jester. That’s how they see me. But it gives me murders as well. Puts me in control.
Mike plays jounce; showing off.
“Tripe word score – exit!” Yes Vi, and soon you’ll meet yours.
Time for my favourite word, tontine.
Very very subtle.
Do you get it?
An extensive vocabulary is absolutely required. A man can't simply walk down the street. He must walk quickly or carefully or slowly or hesitantly. The street must be wide or narrow or busy or eerie or picturesque.this is a poke at my beloved Thesaurus and Dictionary.
Adjectives and adverbs are the guaranteed most important. They make tremendously exciting an otherwise dreadfully boring noun or verb.
Today's unfortunate clueless authors don't understand that.
I copiously drooled over my new behemoth doorstopper dictionary and extensive comprehensive thesaurus. I'm serious about my craft. Agents will be desperately fighting over my groundbreaking life-changing manuscript.
I lovingly opened the dictionary.
Today started with murder.
The only thing you missed Dena, is my beloved RandMcNally Road Atlas.
I use it to find places mentioned in the news.
I love the stories that are insider info!
The day started with murder, and went downhill from there.
Recalcitrant neighbors, uncooperative suspects, media circus.
Ninth murder and likely more to come.
Suspicious partner, side-eye sergeant, disavowing chief.
When they brought me in, accusations flew like crows, but I followed my own advice: deny, deny, deny, and if you can’t do that, shut ya mouth.
Didn’t help. I had no alibi and plenty of motive.
I tell ya, the only thing a cop hates more than going bad is being sent up for the one murder she didn’t do.
Love that last line!
The day started with murder—an impromptu performance.Delightful story, even more delightful reveal at the end!
“I say!” she muttered. “Rather unfortunate affair.”
The blood-spattered shovel scooped up another heap of soil and scattered it onto the leaking body below. Luckily her mother never minded her playing in the backyard before breakfast. The girl hadn’t planned on bloodshed this early in the morning, but sometimes death demands action.
“The day started with murder,” she mused. “Darling book title, that. Perhaps I shall write it someday.” She was the creative type.
“Breakfast, dear!” Mrs. Miller called from the kitchen.
“Right there, mother!” young Agatha replied. “Just washing my hands.”
The day started with murder. It was Jorge’s idea. Last week, he renamed Monday “Murderday” on the office calendar because, you know, Mondays are murder. Maybe he thought no one would notice.This really isn't a story, as much as it is a description, but I love love love it.
But everyone did.
Some thought it was funny. Stupid Jorge and his stupid sense of humor. Others called it “highly unprofessional.” We had to apologize to them because, you know, that’s what we do. We apologize for Stupid Jorge and his stupid sense of humor. One person -- just one -- took it literally. There’s always that one, isn’t there? The one who didn’t get the joke?
The day started with murders.I Bribed Death--great title for something!
The first victim was expecting me and died easily. Typical mob boss. Too calm when facing Death.
The second was frantic. Most people are, particularly the guilty ones. “Please. My family... I need more time –”
I ushered him into eternity anyway. Justice is elusive, but occasionally mine.
A stray bullet sent the third. Young, stubborn. A born negotiator. “Surely there’s someone worse you’d rather meet,” she said. “Give me the name and I’ll arrange the meeting.”
A word for the dying: they say you can’t cheat Death, but I assure you I take bribes.
The day started with murder wrapped in a bow. Well, wrapped in a manila folder. Even as coffee bubbled in a battered percolator, Dee thumbed through reports, photographs, and ruined lives.I love the ambiguity here.
All around her, the room hummed. The walls breathed. Whispers echoed. Footsteps clicked, clacked, and faded down the hall.
Had she missed something? Forgotten to write something—something important—down?
Not that she could see. It was all pretty straightforward, from the witness statements to the shitty surveillance. And yet, she stared at the eleven raised hands in disbelief.
“Well?” Someone said.
Dee swallowed. Then raised her own.
My take is Dee is the murderer, and is now serving on the jury.
Is that what all yall saw? Or what Megan V meant??
The day started with murder, Rufus chuckled as he looked down at the yellow goldfish gasping on the floor amongst the shards of glass. He watched its gills heave back and forth desperate for oxygen. It was his first time inside Mary Conroy’s house and he hadn’t seen the bookcase with the small globe of water perched on top in the dim light. All those months of watching her, studying her, and yet he never knew she had a pet. There was always so much more to learn, and he was finally here. Rufus sat on the couch, and waited.
This entry reminded me of one of the creepiest books I've ever read: A Pleasure and a Calling, by Phil Hogan. I loved it.
The day started with murder. Not mine of course, though given how my day’s going it would’ve proved—convenient.I love things that are Murderously glittery.
“Jessa, for hells sake.”
“Help me pick it up.”
“It’s still moving.”
We stared down at the jittering wings. Fairies.
Slender. Horrible. Murderously glittery.
I nudged the shimmering scaled-body with my heel. Word to the wise. Don’t trust anything that sparkles. And don’t trust books.
Fairy godmothers my ass. Unless you liked getting dusted with flesh-eating green acid, Tinkerbell wasn’t for you. Or apparently, as the fairy dissolved in a plume of rancid smoke, was just riding the Tube in peace.
Don't trust anything that sparkles is my new motto.
And I love the ideat that this all takes place on the uptown IRT.
As usual, I'm dithering about which entries to select
Let me know your thoughts on the matter here in the comment column.
This was a REALLY strong field. There were a lot of entries that were really good that didn't get a shout out.
I hope you all enjoyed my pain.
I agonized over this, but in the end I went with the one that was clever and made me laugh.
This week's winner is Casual-T.
T if you'll send me your preferred mailing address I'll send you your prize.
No, it's really a book.
Thanks to all of you who took the time to write and enter.
This was an amazing turn out, and amazing work from all y'all.
I like this prompt phrase stuff!
Next one: "What's this handbasket doing here?" sounds good to me! What do y'all think?