Lipp-Mad results!

This was so much fun we're just going to have to do it again!

For any of you who don't know the author Laura Lippman who inspired this contest, I advise that you remedy that instantly. Her latest novel SUNBURN is, in my opinion, a perfect novel. It's a standalone, so you can read it without reading the backlist. However, reading the backlist, particularly her standalones is just plain smart reading.

Herewith the results:

In the category of oh boy, been there done that!
Kandace Chapple

I knew that I would find the missing TV remote somewhere in my house, but I had no money on “where it belonged.”

Gypmar

I knew that I would find my missing newly-purchased-thanks-to-pregnancy-foot-spread shoes somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "on my feet."

I liked these entries because they referenced other stories!

unavoidablytiger

I knew I would find my porridge-scented home invader somewhere in my house, but I had no money on 'asleep in my bed'.

Catherine Graham

I knew that I would find those frozen peas somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "between the box spring and the mattress."

I loved this because of course: panda socks!

SDC

I knew I would find panda chair socks somewhere in my house, but I had no money on the octopus-by-day and spider-by-night pawning them off.

I loved these cause they were true stories!

Sophistikitty

I knew I would find my idiot anxious cat somewhere in the house, but I had no money on “behind the backboard of the kitchen cupboard, from where he would have to be sawn out”.

(true story)

Sharyn Ekbergh

I knew that I would find my mother’s life savings somewhere in my house but I had no money on rubies, sapphires, emeralds, opals and pearls in dusty fifty-year-old paper envelopes stuffed in cardboard boxes under her bed.

also a true story. I have a cat story too!

Melanie Sue Bowles

I knew that I'd find our three AWOL donkeys somewhere on our property, but I had no money on them sashaying along our easement - on the wrong side of the fence, next to the highway - with a police escort.

"Are these your donkeys, ma'am?"
"Yes, sir. The ringleader's name is Biscuit. I have a halter and apples."

I may be able to cure my bad cursing habit now that I have "fluffing" to use instead!

Lisa Bodenheim

I knew that I would find my fluffing coffee cup somewhere in my house, but I had no money on the hole in the basement wall that leads to the crawl space under the bathroom.

Mine is Big Fat Gay Wedding Rocky Road, but same diff!

MeganV

I knew I would find my dear damnable dignity somewhere in my house, but I had no money on the lid of my latest Ben and Jerry's.

I know I'm a terrible terrible person, but this made me laugh. (ruefully of course!)

BrendaLynn

I knew that I would find my sense of humour somewhere in my house, but I had no money on the empty ‘Offers of Representation’ folder.

Speaking of publishing hopes and dreams:

french sojourn

I knew I would find my hopes and dreams somewhere in my house, but I had no money on the kitchen sink's, noisy garbage disposal unit.

Jennifer Rueff

I knew that I would find my hopes and dreams somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "the seat of my pants at the keyboard."

speaking of manuscripts, this just cracked me up.

Colin Smith

I knew that I would find my pilfered Frain manuscript somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "my outgoing submissions mailbox." Okay, maybe I did... ;)

Honest to Godiva, you guyz are storytellers to your finger tips. Even with something this short, and this limited, many of you wrote stories. I'm in awe

Claire Bobrow

I knew that I would find my missing engagement ring somewhere in my house, but I had no money on “third finger, left hand - of my sister. ”

Colin Smith

I knew that I would find my emergency cyanide pills somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "my wine glass."

Miles O'Neal

I knew that I would find my mistress's missing lingerie somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "underneath my wife's current outfit."

Ashes

I knew that I would find my red pumps somewhere in my house but I had no money on finding them beneath a tasteful size 14 frock in the back of my son's closet.

ShanePatrick

I knew that I would find my wife’s mistress hidden somewhere in my house, but I had no money on in the chest freezer with her throat slit.

John Davis Frain

I knew I would find my Smith & Wesson .38 somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "the last place I looked" ... ever--

Colin Smith

I knew that I would find my best friend's knife somewhere in my house, but I had no money on "my back."

Adele

I knew that I would find my three emergency passports somewhere in my house, but I had no money on in his sock drawer, under his gun.

Michael Seese

I knew that I would find the evil voices somewhere in the house, but I had no money on the television, which hasn't worked for years. Or the kitchen, with its wainscoted walls laughing at me. Again. Or the knife drawer, empty, save for one.
Or the imposter, sleeping next to me.

And this one just cracked me up on general principles.
Lennon Faris

I knew that I would find my winning entry inspiration somewhere in my house, but I had no money on my ability to think up something before the timer went off. Three hours after closing! Maybe if I used a little magic? But then everyone on the Reef would know I'm a wizard! Oh heck.

Shazam!

We'll see if this thing goes throu

And I think the next contest should be writing the next three sentences after Adele's entry!

I knew that I would find my three emergency passports somewhere in my house, but I had no money on in his sock drawer, under his gun.

The winner for this contest was an easy choice for me:

Claire Bobrow

I knew that I would find my missing engagement ring somewhere in my house, but I had no money on “third finger, left hand - of my sister. ”

Does it help to know my sister tried on MY engagement ring (many years ago) and couldn't get it off? We were sitting in a movie theatre at the time, with my fiance, her boyfriend (soon to be fiance, now her wonderful husband) and another friend staying with us for the summer.  I've never laughed so hard at a movie in my life, but it was because of the commentary from my movie pals, not the actual movie.

Good times!

Claire, I hope you haven't moved since I last sent you something! If you have, let me know!


This was just wonderful! Thank you all so very much for a good hour of reading fun! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.