Sunday, November 19, 2017
The Duchess of Yowl Plans Her Menu
Me: (rather annoyed) What have I told you about calling me Thumbs!
DoY: Oh, right sorry. Tailless Two Legs, what is my address?
Me: (rethinking the Thumbs name) Penthouse 1...wait. Why are you asking?
DoY: The delivery dog needs to know. What is it?
Me: Wait a second here, Your Grace. What are you having delivered?
DoY: Pie of course. It's a holiday. We're having turkey and pie.
Me: Have you ever had pie? Do you know what pie is?
DoY: Well, no, but I know I'll like it. It's BIRD pie. I like birds.
Me: Your grace you've never caught a bird in your life.
DoY: If you'd let me go outside I'd catch a bird.
Me: If I let you go outside, we'd get even more noise complaints -- from the apartments across the street.
DoY: That is unfair, and untrue, and has nothing to do with PIE. I want this PIE.
Me: Show me what you're ordering.
DoY: Here: Bird Pie.
Me: That is a company that makes pies called Four and Twenty Blackbirds.
DoY: See...PIE. Yummy bird pie!
Me: They make chocolate chess pie, lemon chess pie and apple pie. No bird pie.
DoY: That is absurd. They should have a different name. Names should tell you what someone does.
Me: Yes Your Grace, I quite agree.
(pause while the Duchess of Yowl considers that last comment)
DoY: You're not as funny as you think you are, Thumbs.
at 12:00 PM