Saturday, July 22, 2017

Contest results

I should mention the reason for this contest: on Wednesday night my mail management program crashed. I had it backed up, but I'd done something to it such that the only back up that worked was from ten days ago (I back up daily so godiva knows what the hell I did to this thing.)

This has happened before so I knew what to do. Download all my email again. In this case, I was lucky. It was only all the email for a year. The first time it happened it was for five years.

So Wednesday night, and most of Thursday I sat at my compute and pushed Send/Receive cause the email program only downloads 500 emails at a time.

There were 35,000 emails. It takes about 20 minutes to download 500. Then you have to clean out the Outbox, cause all the mail to QueryShark generates an auto response.

Needless to say I was a burned out husk of a figment of a wisp of a shark by Thursday night. I couldn't have come up with a blog post if you'd given me ten prompt words and a head start.

Thus the contest. And true to your usual form, you guyz really cracked me up and lifted my spirits. Thank you!

Herewith the results:

Kitty went there!
They're searching for the results from the last contest.
errr...I'll get right on that.

AJ Blythe has eagle eyes
Alot: Cute Otter picture on wall
That's the centerpiece art for I Am Otter which I love so much I have it hanging in my office. It's the aftermath of the toast restaurant.

Another set of eagle eyes, Dena Pawling
queries current only through 3/20/2017
yea well, I've been busy not judging contests.

KdJames did some sleuthing too
I can't think up a caption. I'm thoroughly diverted and dumbstruck by the condition of that laptop. What the hell did you do to it?
Well, it's kinda old so it needed a truss.

Special recognition for a great line:

EM Goldsmith
We're gonna need a bigger slush pile.

Laurie Lamb
Shark: Janet out-Scotched us.
Special recognition for an entry that breaks all the rules, with style and charm
Kate Higgins

Great entries but not quite captions:

The Noise In Space
I keep hoping that one day- ONE DAY - we will get a caption contest with a 30 word maximum, so I can do a "my nayme is" poem (I love that meme with an undying passion.) Well, I'm armed with both a splitting headache and a devil-may-care attitude today, so I'm doing it anyway.

Our nayme is plush,
an wen its nite,
an our grate shark
turns off the lite,
we crank some tunes
we know by heart-
We let a Wilde
Rumpus start.

*spray paints "Vive le Revolution" onto the wall and runs cackling into the distance*
"Take me, you beast!"

"Not so rough!"

"What the hell? I thought this was a literary agency, not The Lifestyles of the Sick and Stuffed."

Here are the finalists
Janice Grinyer
"when the phone rang, they all froze; who was going to be query shark this time?!"
Spiderina still hasn't quite got the hang of playing hopScotch.

Melanie Savransky
Missed Connections: You were a leggy 18 year old with a killer smile and alot of charm. Pity I only heard your voice.
Moments before finding out why you never play spin the bottle with a spider.

And this week's winner is Melanie Savransky. There's just nothing like clever word play to charm my fiendish heart!

Melanie, if you'll email me with a list of what you like to read, and your preferred mailing address, I'll get a prize in the mail to you.

Thank you all for taking the time to write captions and enter the contest. You really made the end of the week a WHOLE lot better than it had been.


Lisa Bodenheim said...

omigoodness, Janet. What a week. So the fact that your computer needed a truss had nothing to do with the mail management program crashing?

Congratulations on the win, Melanie!! It was great entertainment to read through the entries yesterday.

(....35,000 emails? holy smacarooni)

AJ Blythe said...

After 24 hours of downloading emails (I did the maths)... that Macallan was actually an empty box!

I *loved* reading everyone's comments yesterday. They were so clever and fun. No wonder our Sharkly Queen had her spirits lifted, although that could also have been from what was in the box - and I'm not talking about the earlier gift box. I wouldn't want to risk asking what was in that box...

Miss Janet, you can't sneak an Otter picture past me. I have been a devoted fan since you brought my attention to him 3 or so years ago =)

Melanie, very deserved. Congratulations on the win!

Kitty said...

Congratulations, Melanie!

Melanie Sue Bowles said...

A quick open of the blog while I scarf down breakfast (gotta get back outside, finish chores before it gets too beastly hot). Something catches my eye: "And this week's winner is Melanie..."

GAH! Oh, wait. What? Rats. (Laughing). Congratulations other Melanie. Very well deserved. I loved reading all the entries!

Janet... SHEESH! Your email nightmare made my hair hurt. I can't even imagine dealing with all that. Nope.

Theresa said...

Oh, yikes about the techno problems, Janet.

Congratulations, Melanie!

Dena Pawling said...

>>In this case, I was lucky. It was only all the email for a year. The first time it happened it was for five years.

So does this mean it's only been a year since the last time this happened? If so, I wouldn't call it “lucky.” But I'm glad you were able to recover it.

Congrats Melanie!

Claire Bobrow said...

Way to go, Melanie! Congrats!!

And congrats to all who entered. Loved reading each one. Janice Grinyer: yours tickled me.

BJ Muntain said...

Congrats, Melanie!

Hey, guys. Maybe we should pitch in and get Janet an OtterBox for her laptop.

(Unfortunately, they only make cases for phones and tablets. We may need to commission one special-made for her.)

Janet Reid said...

Dena, the last time this happened was somewhere around 2012 I think. It took a week to recover from that.

Colin Smith said...

Well done, Melanie S!

Janet: 35,000 emails?! Mind you, at least most of those were probably from real people who actually intended to write you. I probably get that much spam. :-\

I'm glad you got it all sorted, though. :D

E.M. Goldsmith said...

Good job, Melanie. And wow, Janet. Sounds like a bucket of chum and whisky are in order.

Karen McCoy said...

Ugh, what a chore with that inbox. That sounds perfectly hair-pulling.

Great entries! I realized too late that the Alot was already in the shot...Melanie's cracked me up though!

RosannaM said...

Congratulations, Melanie. Enjoyed your entry-very sly and it told a whole story.

Hey all the rest of you--I am sorely lacking in a piece of inside knowledge regarding ALOT. Looking for enlightenment.

Janet ugh, what an ordeal. Yep, I second AJ that box is empty!

Cute photographic entry, Kate!

Colin Smith said...

Rosanna: Here's the scoop on the Alot:

Dena Pawling said...

Glad it's not more frequent than every five years or so. Ack that would be more of a nightmare than it already is!

Love Kate's picture comment =)

CynthiaMc said...

Dang it! The one time I resolve to get all my have-tos done before my want-tos (ex:read this blog) and I totally miss the contest. Won't be doing that again.

Congratulations, Melanie!

Megan V said...

Congrats Melanie!

nightsmusic said...

Congrats Melanie and to everyone else as well!

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Melanie S! Very clever entry, made me laugh.

Sorry for the technical problems, Janet. Youch! That's ALOT of email. As for the results of the prior contest, I don't know, some things are just meant to remain an unresolved mystery. I'd rather know what was in the box you sent to Brooks Sherman.

Janice L. Grinyer said...

Congrats Melanie and everyone! It's a blast reading everyone's captions!

And thank you for choosing my caption again, JR- It shows that I still have a sense of humor after my own technical horror show we survived a few months back! I hope that yours is all done now, and all it is now is a faint blur in your memory...well not that faint that it doesn't happen again for the third time...

And then people wonder why we drink in the literary world.

Her Grace, Heidi, the Duchess of Kneale said...

I know what chair socks are for! They protect floors from damage from sliding chairs across them.

I have something similar on my music chairs in my home office, though not as elegant as panda chair socks.