Final contest results

Here are the finalists for this weekend's contest

Susan 9:48am

I stumble up cracked concrete steps
to a brownstone
caught in shadow,
follow you into the house
where cobwebs drape like curtains
and dust scatters beneath our feet.

On the floor by the staircase lies a single sock,
shredded heel-to-toe,
and a birch broom stands in the corner
by the open door,
splintering at the grip.

There’s a dip in the couch cushions,
an empty wineglass on the table.

“I know this place,” I whisper.
“But it’s been so long…”
I sense the rain within me.
“Can we stay?”

You pause, hand me the broom.
“I never left,” you say.

I love the uncertainty here. "You pause" and "I never left" make me wonder what's going on.
It's also a beautifully understated story.

Sharyn Ekbergh 10:40am

If you are very lucky or very good
someone like this comes into your life.

I’m not good.

pay attention
this is grass
is this grass?
how soft it is, how wonderful

this is a tree
is this a tree?
how high I can climb
watch me, how high

this is water
is this water?
how good, how sweet it is
to drink this water

pay attention!
watch me, watch me now
touch me, touch me now
love me, love me now

How I love my days here with you

PAY ATTENTION!

there is a time bomb in my chest

And of course, that last line just turns this 90degrees. A perfect twist, and a sublime one at that.

Timothy Lowe 12:44pm

I loved accounting. Dimes shimmered between my fingers. I squandered my nights under LED lights, whistling as I paved a road to hell with dollar bills.

Mustang: 42,000.00
Case of bourbon: 349.99
Lady friends: 200.00/hr
Dinner at Rocco’s: 1243.60
Drinks at Tenochtitlan: 3650.00
DWI lawyer: 14,000.00
Interlock device: 200.00 a month

I paid for my mistakes. Price Waterhouse fired me. My friends deserted me. But I met someone at AA who told me that happiness is free.

Now we have another beautiful child coming, our sixth.

But hey - who’s counting?

We're out of the abstract and the elegiac now, back to the straightforward stories. It's that last line of course that elevates this beyond the usual. 

And "I paved the road to hell with dollar bills" is one of my faves. 
And I had to look up "interlock device" to know the specific meaning even though I got the point from context.  That's deft writing right there.

Kate O 3:47pm

It smells like hot garbage.
Probably because I am in the garbage.
And the day is hot.
It wasn’t always like this.
I began life on a shelf, pristine beneath my plastic packaging. My bright future as yet unspooled.
But I was bought hastily, for a child with too much already. I was one of many.
If I had a heart, it would ache.
The garbage can tips. The indignity of something sticky smearing across my face as we tumble: strawberry jam.
A dog’s hot breath, its slobbery tongue.
But also, sunshine.
And also, a child’s voice.
“Mama, look! A doll!”

I just love this story.

Lennon Faris 4:35pm

Two saplings gaze into a pool.
“See my brawny branches,” says Oak, stretching.
“And my ample trunk,” Sycamore preens, digging roots into the Earth.
“Your bark’s like a fungus.”
“Your progeny’s the teats of a fox, who milked too long.”
Why fight? hisses Wind, joyriding between their leaves. What do you accomplish?
Ignoring Wind, Oak roars to his squirrel brigade, “Hurl my progeny at that blasphemous ogre!” Songbirds of Sycamore dive-bomb the squirrels, screaming back insults. War rages in the canopy.

Below, a beaver meanders into the glen. He builds his home.

Eventually, the silent stumps turn back into dust.

It took me two reads to understand what happened here.
I love a story that's so beautifully subtle that you need to read it slowly and savor every word to fully understand it.  This is gorgeous writing. And the concept is highly imaginative which is always a plus in these contests.

Madeline Mora-Summonte 5:01pm

The park bench is hard on Harriet's old bones. Nearby, a little girl begs her mother unsuccessfully for ice cream.

Harriet, her heart long unraveled by regret, recalls her son's voice, how it grated her nerves. She was a lousy mother. She pushed him away over and over until he stayed away on his own. If she could have another chance, she'd grab it, never let go.

The girl wanders over. Harriet glances at the mother, focused on her cell. Harriet stands, holds out her hand. The girl takes it, weaving her fingers through Harriet's.

They walk away.

I have this thing about people staring at their phones and ignoring the people around them.
A very serious aversion to it.
This story appealed to that.  A lot.

S.D.King 6:47pm

I think we drove over ninety to Ann Arbor the night he was born. First grandchild.

We were too late.

He was wrapped in a blanket at the graveside. I held him tight as they lowered her down.

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.”

He didn’t cry. I shook uncontrollably.

Months of going through the motions.

Choking despair.

Toothless smiles.

Peek-a-boo.

First word: Meema

He sits on the floor playing with Russian nesting dolls, endlessly stacking and restacking. Laughing at a joke only he knows.

His toes flex up in delight.

“Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

All I could think of when I read this was I so hope it's not based on our writer's real life experience. The raw emotion here is communicated so deftly, so simply, that you barely notice the words because of the overwhelming feeling the words evoke. That's powerful writing.

As usual, it took a couple hours of thinking and re-reading to settle on a winner. Youse guyz do not make this easy and this week was some of your best work.

In the end I went with the entry from Lennon Faris 4:35pm. It was not only a perfect gem of a story, it resonated with me like Jane Kenyon's poem.

Lennon, send me your preferred mailing address and what you like to read. I'll send you a book that I hope you'll love.

Thanks to all who took the time to write entries.  Your work was collectively awesome, and reading it was a great pleasure. Thank you!