Well, I wasn't intending revenge upon all of you terrific writers when I didn't get the contest results posted on time, but I'm glad to see I've found another way to torment you. Oh yes, fun fun fun.
But, time for that to end, and the results to be posted. As usual, you were up to your old tricks with really good writing.
This isn't a story, but the writing is so exquisite I just want to reach through the screen and smooch Michael Seese 10:56am with a big sharkly kiss.
"a sleeping kitten" for a quiet sea
"The sea has gone home"
These are phrases that warm my cold little heart.
And this from SiSi 11:02am
"his expression halfway between heartbreak and hatred."
is just wonderful too.
And the point of view of a spider is pretty amazing too: Lennon Faris 11:09am
And a tip of the chapeau to Sam Spade and Dashiell Hammett is always fun: Peggy Rothschild11:19am
I love this line from Kregger 11:27am a great deal: To sea, is to believe.
I believe Dena Pawling 11:34am has a great career ahead of her as a pirate lyricist!
I love the idea of Sherry Howard 11:37am's entry: Reunion tour of the circumnavigationists!
Scott's entry at 11:45am is exquisite. "The wind's got a bone in her teeth" "grip the shrouds"
DLM's entry (11:50am) isn't quite a story, but I love it very much. It's got atmosphere to die for.
For extraordinary experimentation with language this week: kudos to Colin Smith at 12:04pm
The little mermaid, and not the Disney version either, from Jennifer R. Donohue at 12:15pm
Hauntingly beautiful and terribly sad: lizosisek 12:21pm
This story was just utterly charming: kitty 2:50pm
I loved this phrase from Jason Magnason 5:41pm "my stomach is now a world class gymnast."
Pretty imaginative POV from Rkeelan 7:35pm: a salt shaker!
Talk about imagination! As if I'd EVER share a bottle of JW Blue!! Christina Seine 12:35am, have you taken COMPLETE leave of your senses??
Her Grace, Heidi the Duchess of Kneale had some phrases here that are just perfect:
Maisie tied a knot in the end of her hope and hung on
A Bluestocking in a red light district?
or the business-“out late at a meeting, dear”-men.
Here's the list of finalists:
Mark Thurber 1:07pm
I’m not gender typical. “Are you a girl?” the basses tease. Whatever. Me sings alto. Fuck off.
Sean isn’t neurotypical, and we bonded over perfect pitch. He sang and said “blue.” I replied “D#.” I mapped his octave onto colors. Pitch is hue, volume is value.
I thought I could keep him safe on the choir hiking trip. Now he keeps singing the same four notes, weaker and weaker. Quarter note G; eighth note A; quarter note D#, barely audible; eighth note A. Red; yellow; blue—no, black; yellow.
Holy shit. “Call 911,” I screech, “and get coral snake antivenin!”
I like the twist here. Reading along you think the story is about one thing, and zounds, turns out it's not about that at all!
I had to look up antivenin cause I thought it was spelled wrong.
And hell if I can find "land" in this entry. Can any of you?
Jim wanted to go to sea.
"Not safe," I said.
"What is any more?"
Our Disney jobs were gone. Jim trained his foreign replacement. I watched twenty years of life drain from his blue eyes.
Sold house and cars. Kept the boat - paid for and insured.
Days 1-3: salt air, sunshine, healing
Day 4: lost radio and navigation
"We have the sun and stars. We're okay," Jim said.
Day 6: Hurricane we didn't see coming -again. Lost the boat.
Day 7: No land in sight
Day 8: Picked up by a Disney cruise ship
I wonder if they're hiring...
I like the twist here and I like metronome effect of the rhythm too.
All we knew was deep sea, cold and dark. When we needed to move we followed the whales, their great size providing safety from predators. But we were adventurous, Father and I, and left in search of new experiences.
Father wanted to swim up, toward the dim light, where the water was warmer. “We’ll see all kinds of new people,” he said.
We discovered a new shade of blue, so bright, so sharp. I swam higher, chasing the sparkles, though he told me to stop. I ignored him and plunged out of the water — tasted salt, saw land, smelled
It takes a particular kind of bravado to write a story with this particular kind of twist; love love love it!
Mallory Love 8:30pm
Two pink lines confirmed her worst fears. They had practiced safety, but apparently not well. A wave of nausea roiled through her. It had been one night, filled with too many salt-rimmed margaritas and not enough sense. And this was her penance for it.
Heels clicked on the landing outside the door. “Hurry! It’s almost time.” She straightened the white tulle of her dress and opened the door.
“Do you have everything?” her bridesmaid asked. “Something new? Old? Borrowed? Blue?”
New- a baby.
Old- her virginal reputation.
Blue- her outlook.
Her eyes met the best man’s.
Talk about ooops!
I gasped aloud at the penultimate sentence! Nice twist there!
They were the perfect storm of two people who loved each other but could not live together.
She purred Persian, he barked Siberian.
She liked one sheet, he liked blankets.
She sipped wine, he downed beer.
She was a well done with sea salt kind of woman, he a rare with cracked pepper man.
She felt deadbolt safe, he left the door open.
They fought and made up and loved and yelled and cried and decided apart might be better.
She wanted pink, he wanted blue.
Their hearts landed feather light on four paws times two.
This is sweet without being treacley or sentimental.
I really like it.
The prize goes to Cheryl 4:26pm this week! I love the elegance of that ending!
Cheryl if you'll send me your mailing address and what kinds of books you like to read I;ll
Thanks to all who took the time to enter, and for your patience as I worked through the entries. Ya'll are just getting too good at this to get through the contest in less than 24 hours.