Thursday, July 30, 2015

Contest results!

At long last, the contest results! These got delayed because I was off tormenting writers in person instead of from the comfort of my sharkly chair at home.

Herewith the results

Not quite a story, but a great scene and unfortunately disqualified because of time (7:56am)
W.R. Gingell 7:56 am

Not quite a story, but incredibly creepy
Timothy Lowe 8:00am

Not quite a story but a great scene!
CynthiaMc 8:24am

Not quite a story but this is so vivid!
Kathryn Clark 2:00pm

Wonderful use of prompt words
LynnRodz 9:52am
"whoused ta say"

This is so surrealistic that I kinda loved it even though it was…surrealistic
Dionne 10:08am
Tony Clavelli 2:20am

Holy smokes, these are the prompts from this contest AND the last one!
Degree of difficulty: 5.2!
Lance 11:15am

One of the great lines of all time in a contest
Scott Sloan 11:35am
"Hoosier daddy, now?"

Even Gossamer the cat cannot save this entry from my screams of terror!
Lynn Person 11:55am

Not a dry eye in the house on this one
Donnaeve 2:08pm

This isn't quite a story but I love the homage to the Music Man, so artfully done!, that I just want to sing!
kdjames 4:23pm

This isn't quite a story, but it's GREAT writing
Joel Freiburger 5:21pm

Not quite a story but anything that ends is shark tattoo is aces in my book!
Gabby Gilliam 8:57pm

And Matt Adams is going to earn gross out points FOREVER on that one: 9:14pm

I really loved the POV on this one
Just Jan 10:02pm

Not quite a story but so hilariously awfully true!
Megan laughman 12:02am

And here are the finalists:

(1) Colin Smith 10:15am
As was his custom, Sam Jones let his tattoos tell the story:

A book, because Ronald was their bookkeeper.

A waffle, because Ronald talked too much.

A house, like the one where Ronald met with the Feds.

A map of Indiana. Sam smiled as he finished the star marking both Indianapolis and the bullet wound. He liked these cryptic clues to his identity.

He took a step back to admire his handiwork.

"Okay, Mojo, take him away."

Mojo heaved Ronald's limp body off the metal table and carried him out the door while Sam made the call.

"Job done, boss."

You've got to love a story with a minion named Mojo!

(2) Steve Forti 10:53am
Jan1: New year, new love?

Feb14: Heart-shaped waffle
s! Jason is soooo sweet!

April1: Woke up with “Property of Jason” henna
tattoo. Not cool!

June5: Big fight. So confused.

Aug11: I miss my friends.

Sep29: ER docs suspicious. Convinced them I’m clumsy.

Nov2: Still wearing Halloween makeup. Staying in

Nov18: No escape. He’ll never let me get away.

How could she do this to me? What went on in Diana’s head? I let the notebook dangle from my fingers, eyeing the last page.

Dec9: Payback, asshole. The poison’s already on your fingers. Buck up, honey. I’ll be seeing you soon.

It's a stunning achievement to have a dual POV in a one-hundred word story. AND a twist at the end. This is just brilliant work.

(3) Peggy Rothschild 11:05am

    My head throbbed. What happened last night?

    Right. I paid my BOOKie, then met Janelle. Like usual, she’d strutted into the bar like she owned the place.

    “What’s up?”

    “Hello to you, too. You left your INDIANA Jones hat at my HOUSE.”

    Smoothing the brim, I stood. “It’s called a fedora.”

    “Whatever. Stay for a drink.” She gave a heart-breaker smile.

    I WAFFLEd, then sat. After that, the night blurred.

    My headache sharpened. I stumbled to the bathroom, leaned against the sink and moaned. The word ‘A**’ was TATTOOed in blue across my forehead.

    Good thing Janelle returned my hat.

I like that quick little sentence at the end that just adds the perfect amount of twist.

(4) Darling Kitty 11:26am
Frances smashed my finger in the waffle maker for covering up Dad’s weekend trysts with Maureen.


Maureen tattooed “Accomplice” in black marker on my forearm after I used Dad’s Chromebook and “accidentally” deleted his emails to Diana.


Diana threatened to burn down our townhouse unless I revealed the name of Dad’s new ladylove.


Later she apologized over a bowl of my homemade menudo.


Cops stopped me just shy of the Illinois border, driving a rented Beemer.


Already dug up Frances, they said. Tell us where you put Maureen.


Told the truth, as always.


This took my breath away. You really have to read this twice to see the beauty of the structure, and that's a real achievement in 100 words. Amazing work.

(5) Maggie Maxwell 11:30am
There's no place I love more than Grandma's house. Every room's tattooed with my childhood. Crayon on the wall where us kids drew our own picture books. Grandma didn't want to paint over original art. Ice cream stains from fumbled waffle cones. Grandma didn't like the carpet color anyway. Dents in doors from recreating Indiana Jones's boulder scene. Grandma didn't care about door dents, just kid dents.

I asked her to leave the house to me, but Grandma didn't change her will.

I light a match.

Grandma didn't understand. No one else can have her house. Just me. Only me.

I love the contrast of the first person narrator who "loves" Grandma's house with those last three sentences. Very deft.

(6) Alan Milner  12:08pm
I looked up from my book when Joe took the Muncie exit.

“Muncie, Indiana? Really? You found a job in Muncie? That’s the big surprise?”

Joe shrugged. “Gotta go where the work is.”

We passed the old Waffle House. “Grew up here. Used to eat there when I was a kid.”

“I know. Wanna stop?”


Joe pulled off the road to make a U-turn. Stopped.

“What’s up?”

The big Beretta appeared like magic.

“Your number is.”


“The tattoo lady says good-bye.”

“Why Muncie?”

“You came home, despondent. Killed yourself.”

Joe never saw the Baby Browning. I’m that fast.

I would have left off that last sentence, but I still like this.

(7) Steven 3:29pm
Momma always said Indiana would serve as the bookends of my life; I just didn’t think I’d return before Daddy’s last breath.

Her panicked call yesterday, as she waffled between reporting his drunken advances and reminiscing happier times, is the reason for my revoked teenage pledge to steer clear of Jasper.

As I drove, I recalled many horrid nights I’d use his chest wide cobra tattoo as a meditational focal point for escape.

When I entered, Daddy manacled my wrist as Momma, clenching her tattered housecoat, bolted for the door, saying, “Tag, princess. Time for my twenty years of freedom.”

This twist is so terrifying I can barely read it twice!
Something so evocative in 100 words is a real achievement.

(8) Dena Pawling 3:52pm
Welcome to Indiana!

    I was never so glad in my life to see that sign. Ten long months......

    So tired of flipping through guidebooks, living out of suitcases, eating strange food in even stranger restaurants, pantomiming communications with tattooed strangers.

    No more “Does anyone here speak English?”

    No more “Yes, I speak. Sorry. Please you no stand chair sit? Thank you.”

    No more! I'm home at last. Time for a down-home American breakfast.

    “Velcome to ze house of ze vaffle.”

    “It's waffle.”

    “Zat iss vat I said. Vaffle.”


    “Does anyone here speak English?”

Ze House of Ze Vaffle may be my new favorite phrase!

The winner this time was a pretty easy choice. It was the entry that took my breath away.  Darling Kitty, if you'll email me with your mailing address and the kinds of books you like to read, we'll get a prize in the mail to you.

Thanks to all of you who entered, and congrats to all the entries that caught my eye.

Youze guyz are a talented lot!


AJ Blythe said...

Congrats to Darling Kitty on the win, and the other finalists and special mentions for making it to this page.

You guys amaze me with what you can do in 100 words!

Laura Mary said...

Congrats to all :-) I snoozed and missed this contest entirely! Oops!

Kate Larkindale said...

Congratulations to all the finalists, but especially to Darling Kitty for that amazing little story.

french sojourn said...

Beautifully done Darling Kitty; and congrats to the other finalists, shout outs, and all that attacked the keys.

Lance, I showed up with a pair and you beat me with three of a kind...two pair next contest?

Thanks again to QOTKU for the time and effort.

Cheers Hank.

Carolynnwith2Ns said...

AA All Amazing.
I gotta say, this time the writing hit another level. Love it.
Nice to see a few new names too.

Marc P said...

Have to agree with the winner. Standout and finishes with a pun. Can't beat that :)

Julie said...

Congrats to all and good grief, someone had an all-nighter...

CynthiaMc said...

Congratulations Kitty! ! And to everyone else as well.

I had so much fun with my U.S. Marshal and the teens I'm writing a screenplay about them.

Laura Rueckert said...

They're all amazing! Great writing everyone!

Kitty said...

Congrats, Darling Kitty!

Just Jan said...

Congratulations, Darling Kitty. I really did have to read it twice, and it was while I was eating breakfast, so, yeah, indigestion....but in a shark-infested sea of great entries, yours really stood out.

Thanks for the shout-out, QOTKU, and congrats to the rest of the finalists and to every entry that achieved a mention.

Lance said...

Darling Kitty, exquisite. Congratulations to the finalists, mentionables, and all who entered. Thank you, Ms. Janet for your time and consideration under less than ideal conditions.

You're on, french sojourn. Two pair.

Donnaeve said...

The comments QOTKU makes for each of the entries adds a sense of closure for how she viewed the entries. I love that you added them!

Congratulations to all the finalists and to Kitty Darling for the win! Awesome entries, all.

Thanks for the shout out on my little story too!

S.D.King said...

What a great group of finalists! Congrats to all!

Beth H. said...

I love reading the flash fiction contest results. Every time, I'm blown away by the talent of the blog readers! Congratulations, everyone!

Unknown said...

Darling Kitty, your story was amazing. Talk about twists. Would love to know more about how the story came about. Did you see the word "Diana" in Indiana and concoct the story from there?


Lisa Bodenheim said...

Congrats to Darling Kitty and the other finalists and the mentioneds. I giggled and gasped as I read through all the stories. Makes for a higher bar for all of us to throw ourselves over for the next flash fiction.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. This was an outstanding bunch of entries. Congratulations to to Kitty.

LynnRodz said...

Congrats, Darling Kitty! I've always hated menudo, even more so now. Congratulations as well to the finalists, mentions, and everyone who entered. Thanks for the mention, Janet.

Jillian said...

Awesome entries for sure. Congrats to everyone.

Colin Smith said...

Once again, Janet shows herself to be a Shark of impeccable taste. A well-deserved win Darling Kitty--not only a clever story structure, but a creative use of Indiana. Well done!!

Indeed, with so many entries to choose from, and so much talent behind those keyboards, it's an honor to make the finalist cut. Mojo thanks you. :)

Marc P said...

Well done Colin, you can be a honourary brit today! ;)

Colin Smith said...

Marc: Thank you! Actually, I think in the eyes of the UK I'm a dual citizen, but still--I appreciate that. :)

Writer of Wrongs said...

Holy Shmoley! These are great entries. Reinforces my belief that lima beans aren't the worst thing to populate Carkoon. Congrats, everyone.

A.J. Cattapan said...

Wow, so many great entries! Love the structure Darling Kitty used.

Marc P said...

In the eyes of the UK you are a traitor a renegade and a colonial ingrate Colin. But in my eyes I would have have fought for George! So huzzah and up the Johnny Reb! Hang on that was the second war wasn't it??


Dena Pawling said...

My little story is listed along with all those awesome ones! Omigosh that's exciting. This is the first time I'm a finalist. Wow.

Congrats to all! This was fun.

Karen McCoy said...

Great use of alliteration, Darling Kitty! And the dual POVs from Steve Forti was masterful too. Well done, all!

These contests are so inspiring--the cousin I'm staying with (while we transition during the move to California) heard about my 100 word story and decided to put together a few of her own. It's so much fun to see the contest magic spread.

Cindy C said...

Congratulations to Darling Kitty, the finalists, and everyone mentioned. Another stellar set of contest entries!

Maggie Maxwell said...

Congratulations, Darling Kitty, other finalists, and honorable mentions! Everyone's stories were fantastic. Like Colin said, it's an honor just to spot my story in the finalists out of all the extremely talented writers here. Thank you, Janet!

Unknown said...

Wow, awesome! Congrats to Darling Kitty! I loved it when I read it, glad I have good taste!
Thanks Janet for another wonderful chance to stretch those writer brain cells.

Janice Grinyer said...

Wow! These were all so good; so hard to make a selection, but Darling Kitty, you really nailed it! Congrats!

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Well done, everyone! The finalists are all amazing! Darling Kitty's story blew me away, and Steven's story made me shudder.

Scrambled3ggs said...

Congrats to all!

french sojourn said...

Minor correction to the finalists....

Lance pulled three groups of prompts. 15 words squeezed into 100.

Well played Lance...well played.

Anonymous said...

Amazing story, Darling Kitty. Congratulations on the win! Finalists, congrats to y'all too! Nice job everyone.

Theresa said...

Congratulations to everyone on a fine set of entries!

Unknown said...

Wow! Thanks, Janet. It's actually me, Calorie Bombshell, whose account was on the fritz (thought it was being hacked, couldn't access it with my password for a couple of days, couldn't change my password, etc.), so I quickly established a new one, just in case.

Thanks for all of the kind words. And congrats to everyone for some amazing entries.

Amanda Capper - you are right on the money. I saw the word "Indiana" and immediately thought of a nicely-seasoned ex-girlfriend/wife simmering in a crockpot or two ready to be devoured by an unsuspecting "Diana." My mind just works that way. :-)

Colin Smith said...

Marc: Well I did take the Oath of Allegiance in which I renounced all other powers and potentates, which I suppose includes the Queen, David Cameron, and Steven Moffat (this was tough, being an avid Whovian...). In fact, at my citizenship interview, the interviewer (who was excellent--stayed poker-face the whole time) asked who I'd fight for if the US and the UK went to war. :)

Marc P said...

Lol... Steven Mofftet was a great writer on WHO not sure he is a great show runner!! And to be fair my book collaboration I mentioned in the other thread was with one of your own upstanding citizens. Minds and hands across the water!! Ah so you had a citizenship interview, my bad I had thought you had been born there of English stock who had moved! I love the US... Yardley PA is my spiritual home :)

Steph said...

Congrats Darling Kitty, your story was truly amazing! It's always fantastic to see what writers can do with 100 words.

Terri Lynn Coop said...

Congrats to all the finalists and shout-outs!

Yeah, when I saw Darling Kitty's entry, I knew we were all standing on the pier soaking wet because we'd been blown out of the water, individually and collectively.

Super and well done.

Just keeps getting better every week! See ya all in the Shark Tank!

Terri <-------------- still not a robot

Colin Smith said...

Marc: Nope--I'm the original immigrant. My wife is from the US, and my kids are all half-and-half. (Although I'm actually Scots-Irish-Welsh, and my wife is at least Irish-Cherokee, so we are a microcosm of the melting pot that is this marvelous country!)

I've been around the block more than 40 years, and I don't recall a time when I didn't know what Doctor Who was. I agree Moffat's stories were better when he wasn't trying to show-run as well, though he has come up with some good ones since 2010. While his arcs can be a little ambitious, and he lets some wacky stuff in that really makes you go HUH? (the moon's an egg???), I've appreciated his work more on second and third viewing.

The New Series is great... but despite the lower production values, the Classic Series was something special. You can do so much more character and story development in 4- and 6-part stories than you can in a single 40-45 minute episode.

Sorry... IRL WARNING: If you really don't care about Doctor Who, don't start a conversation on the topic with me! :)

Marc P said...

Colin - and sorry to be off topic again folks, I'm not sure of the correct protocols on here... but I am a Who man so that's ok. My dad worked on the show once or twice and I was on set and saw a Dalek at about age Six or Seven! :) I have a signed photo of Sarah Jane somewhere ! And from Daisy Duke, neither solicited I hasten to add lol.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to Darling Kitty/Calorie Bombshell, and to all the finalists, mentions, and entrants - great work, all of you!

I'll try to be home for the next contest. :)

Anonymous said...

Marc P, the correct protocols here are... well, every man for himself. Golden retrievers, unite!


Colin Smith said...

Marc: Protocol for going off topic? Such things exist? I think as long as it's not offensive, nasty, or otherwise not fit for Sharkly sensibilities, it's okay. Though I must be careful... Janet has warned me of a fate worse than the caves of Carkoon--and it's pretty scary (see Janet's Twitter feed for today if you're curious...)

Your dad worked on the show? How cool!! Actor? Techie? BBC employee? My biggest Who claim-to-fame is meeting Colin Baker when I was working at Toys R Us in Hull over Christmas back in 1991. He came looking for a farm set and asked me where they were. I held it together pretty well, I think... but I won't go into that story here. Most of the vommenters have either skipped this vomment already or are saying "Colin WHO?" "Doctor WHO??" :)

Colin Smith said...

bj: If you aren't home in time for the next contest, the dog will get your supper! ;)

Marc P said...

@Colin - he was a Film Cameraman. Good to know.. the only topics I ever stuck too religiously were a hazelnut and chocolate confectionary I was rather partial too.

Colin Smith said...

Marc: That's awesome! Really!! Might I ask what era of Who he worked on? If he procured the signed Elisabeth Sladen picture for you, then I imagine it was early Tom Baker...?

Amy Schaefer said...

Another great pack! And congratulations to Darling Kitty/Calorie Bombshell - your entry was awesome.

Anonymous said...

So, I went to Twitter to see what Colin was talking about, and found this picture.

People, someone has taken our Queen's picture, and posted it on Twitter.

From Amy E. Reichert's Twitter feed @aereichert): "Fav #MWW15 panel was writerly resources w/these brilliant women"

Anonymous said...

Colin, the dog won't eat my supper. She's very picky. :P

Unless you have staples. She loves to chew staples. Yes, those little metal things holding your brochures together. She'll chew the staples out, leaving little chewed half-moons where the staples once were.

Because my dog is almost as crazy as I am.

Colin Smith said...

bj: Clearly your dog is getting a good staple diet... :D

Anonymous said...

You bet your bippy, Colin. LOL (How's that for an anachronism?)

(And yes, I really am laughing out loud.)

Colin Smith said...

bj: you mean the kids don't say "you bet your bippy"?? Won't stop me saying it, though. No sireee bob, sure won't. Good koogli mooglies no! :)

Colin Smith said...

Hmmm... not long after I posted that "staple" joke, I received notification that the current head of English at Carkoon High suddenly and without cause, abandoned his post to join the Cult of Sarlaac. It seems he is embarking on a six-month pilgrimage to Darrig One, birthplace of the Sarlaac's mother, leaving a vacancy at the school.

Not sure why this was brought to MY attention...

Unknown said...

Congrats to everyone. I'm amazed at how much creativity some of you can squeeze into 100 words! These contests are great at tearing me away from brooding over the inevitable slow progress of my WIP.

Anonymous said...


If you really don't care about Doctor Who, don't start a conversation on the topic with me! :)--

I've watched it. I think it's fun, but by all that is holy, I don't bring it up in public. I made the mistake of mentioning it to my doctor and she went of on a love fest about her favorite Dr. Who and episodes. We did eventually get back to kidney problems, pain management, and that fabulously good looking orthopedic surgeon who was going to replace my knee.

Donnaeve said...

There's nothing better than when I must step into the fray and "correct" the important terminology used herein.

That would be, "you bet your sweet bippy."

And, great googly moogly.

That is all. Carry on you two.

Colin Smith said...

Julie: Exactly. Did she mention going into medicine JUST so to have people refer to her as "The Doctor"? ;) Though am I training myself to watch people's eyes and gauge how loud to turn up the fan-boy when people bring up the beloved Time Lord. Someone recently, out of the blue, asked if I was looking forward to the next season. This was someone I hadn't spoken to much before, and I suspected they were trying to make conversation based on something they knew I enjoyed. Man, if I could edit my novels as well as I edited my conversation that day, I'd have some pretty well-polished work to submit! I managed to answer the question, show enthusiasm, and then let it go just before the eye-glaze set in. :)

Colin Smith said...

Donna: And here I must step in to your stepping in (and hope we're not stepping into something we shouldn't be stepping in--check your shoes on the way out) and mention that "Good koogli mooglies" is my wife's corruption of "great googly moogly." I prefer her version. Obviously. :)

Julie said...

Thread Bomb:
On NYC (in no particular order):
1) I made it!
2) Does "Thank You" ever get old? It seems sort of... inadequate. Still. There it is. Thanks, Queen Shark.
3) Whoops. Forgot my umbrella.
4) Oh. My. Good. Lord.

That is all.

Shark Pup

Colin Smith said...

Julia: Excellent! I look forward to your further commentary on events. Have a wonderful conference. With all you've been through, you deserve it. :)

Amy Schaefer said...

Around here, it is "great oogly boogly." I love the way slang is so regionalized!

By the way, Colin, that staple joke has put you on the watch list in Paradise. You won't be allowed to enter the dimension without a specially-fitted device to filter out your wretched puns. Don't worry - it is provided free of charge, and, although it is strapped to your throat, I'm assured that it is almost comfortable to wear and barely restricts your movements at all. I'm not a heartless monster, you know.

Colin Smith said...

Amy: Don't tell my kids about that. They'll be placing orders...

Colin Smith said...

I almost want to suggest there's a flash contest brewing with all these oogly googly koogli mooglie words floating around. That would be one seriously challenging contest so... forget I said anything! :)

Donnaeve said...

Oh Lord Colin, if you weren't already on Carkoon, I'd tell QOTKU to take a vote. :) Talk about stepping IN IT.

Anywho, you Dr. Who freak you, great googly moogly supposedly comes from Blues songs. Spellings aside, I'll just say great googly moogly there's some talented writers out here, yep, you bet your sweet bippy there is!

Way to go Julia - have fun!

Anonymous said...

Julia: New York is a great place. I'll go back again someday when funds permit. You're going to have a great time there. I'm jealous, but I went last fall, so I'll have to wait a year or so, I think. Unless the funds suddenly appear out of the blue... (which they never do).

If you've never had white pizza, that's the first (and, until recently, the only place I ever found it) - white cheeses with a non-tomato sauce. I loved it. You can find it at just about any pizza joint there.

Trying to think of quick things to do between conference postings... the Empire State Building is downtown, and if you don't mind heights, can give you a great view of the city. Or you can check out Ground Zero, and really get a sense of what 9/11 meant (and still means) to New Yorkers. Sad - but triumphant. If you like churches, Saint Patrick's Cathedral is really cool - and I like the small shop they have.

Of course, I'm just guessing the conference is in downtown Manhattan. I don't know that much about where things are in New York. I might have some ideas if you happen to be in the East Village, though...

Enjoy it. It's got an atmosphere that few cities have, of time and people and excitement.

Julie said...

@BJ - You rock. As always. And I probably should have been drinking over the past few days. I'm paying for it. But they can deal with it next week, I'm not getting stuck down here, Brian will absolutely kill me.
@Colin - if you end up sentenced to Carkoon, I'll try to post bail.
@Donnaeve - I don't know about "deserve" - but I sure am glad to be here.

And now for something almost creepy in its portentous foreboding... Not sure whether to take it as a good sign (literally - and I'm leaning towards this, because that's just the way I am) or a bad sign, but I'm sure it means something! Only the end will tell.

Anyway, take a look:

What I Saw At The Burlington VT Airport Today


AND, to make matters worse, I saw one just like it in the form of an EMPTY toddler's stroller!!! I think the toddler was eaten. Not sure.

Welp, I have miles to go before I sleep, so, TA TA!

*MWAH!* Love youze guyz, as they seem to say...


Unknown said...

Congrats, all! Great lineup! Oops and mea culpa for being too early! I waited until it said ENTER but I only have Aussie time, so my woolly little brain didn't realise that the reason there were no entries yet was because it was still too early :D Thanks for the mention anyway, QOTKU :)

Unknown said...

BTW, I'm in Middle Earth (aka New Zealand) at the moment, so aside from my not being on here as much, I hope you're all VERY JEALOUS.

Unknown said...

Late to the party -- I've been wifi-less most the day. Congratulations to Darling Kitty. I was blown away by your story's structure and the prompt word use. Wonderful and scary :D

gypsyharper said...

Wow! Just wow! I still have to go back and read all the others, but the finalists blew me away.

On another note, I'm finally caught up on my reading and can comment! I've been lurking for ages.

Anonymous said...

Yay! Welcome, gypsyharper, to the Vomment Pit - where the daily topic is merely a suggestion and the Reef is full of chums!

Julie said...

@BJ - you aren't suggesting that we can't stay on topic, are you? We can; we simply... explore relevant branch areas. (Cough).

I'm going to a deli I found. Alone. By myself. In New York.

Call the presses.

Actually, for the League of Vermont Writers, I am the press at the current time, as it seems I'm the only one who came, so there ya go.



Anonymous said...

Julia: I didn't say 'can't' - just that it's not expected. :) (And I love 'explore relevant branch areas' - stealing that!)

Delis are good places to go to alone. Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Kitty, congratulations! Your story made me wince and I loved it.

And holy guacamole, Janet! I've been feeling so smug and self-congratulatory that I finally managed to tell a complete story and you tell me it's NOT A STORY. I mean, it had childhood dreams, struggle, failure and death. Beginning, middle, end. Good lord, you're tough. *grumble grumble* One of these days, I'll manage to do it. Actually, my goal with this one was to inflict ear worms on everyone, since every time I saw Indiana I had that song in my head. :)

Julia, have a great time at the con! My daughter and son and daughter-in-law are in NYC today, which is an odd coincidence. If you see three very tall, good-looking blonde people--- um, never mind, don't say hello. Because probably that describes a fair portion of people in NYC. Relax and make some new writer friends!

Donnaeve said...

@Julia - egad. That poster in VT was fortuitous, no? Or like a vibe of some kind. Like...QOTKU there in sharkly spirit?

Janet Reid said...

the Empire State Building is NOT downtown. It's in midtown at 33rd and Fifth Avenue.

The confernce is at the Roosevelt Hotel which is just off 44th and Fifth Ave. Also midtown.

Downtown NYC is a very specific region, starting somewhere below either Canal or 14th Street depending on how hip you are.

To this day, my favorite interaction about directions came from a man on a subway platform at 63rd and Lex. He asked which train went to Manhattan. I said as pleasantly as I could "you're in Manhattan now. Which way do you want to go?"

He responded poorly.

He still has the limp.

Colin Smith said...

Julia: If I'm sentenced to Carkoon? I'm here! Been here for a looong time. And despite what Janet might say on Twitter, will probably be here no matter what I try to do to appease her. Even if I write a book she decides to represent, I will be her "Client in Carkoon." Even though such an eventuality would ruin any chance I have of being respectable here. :)

Time for another kale sandwich with my lima bean tea...

Julie said...

1. Walking thru the hotel lobby reminded me of "Poltergeist:" "They're heeeeere...."

2. I was wrong about NY. So, so wrong. Beats Philly hands down. Might beat Miami except that I have ties there. I might not come home. I still haven't figured out how they all LIVE here, but... I think I might be in love.

Anonymous said...


BTW, I'm in Middle Earth (aka New Zealand) at the moment, so aside from my not being on here as much, I hope you're all VERY JEALOUS.--

I certainly am.

I know I should be jealous of Julia, but no, that just makes my stomach roil in terror to think of navigating NYC.

Julie said...

Julie - it's okay. Take pics and I'll be incredibly jealous when I'm done being incredibly happy. :) Have a blast; come back with Great Farrier Reef stories for us.


Anonymous said...

Yeah. I'm terrible with directions, especially in a big city. Here, 'downtown' means 'the place in the centre of the city where there are stores and the property taxes are through the roof'. When I'm in NYC, I take a lot of cabs.

I am not hip at all. I fall down stairs on the way to one of the coolest affairs I'd have had a chance to see in NYC, and thus have to watch it on TV with my ankle up and ice on my arm. But I know where Stomp! plays - and has played for more than a decade. I know where the Sock Man is. Some of the best poutine I've ever tasted anywhere was in one of those buildings that exploded a few months ago (so tragic). And there's this wonderful risotto place where everything is gluten-free, and I was able to have cake for my birthday. I could probably walk there from my friend's place even now, and I was only there once. St Mark's in the Bowery is the oldest church I have ever seen, though I've never been inside. And Thompson Park (I think that's what it's called) has off-leash dog parks - separate ones for big and small dogs. Lovely places to spend an afternoon, to bask in the greatness and history that is New York City.

New York is a wonderful city. I enjoy every trip there - even when I stupidly sprain my ankle falling down half a flight of stairs...

Julia: Looking forward to seeing NYC through your eyes on Facebook.

Anonymous said...

"He still has the limp." *snort*

My daughter is there for a work conference and says it's pretty overwhelming. But the hotel and the building where they're meeting are both "on the Times Square street" and I think she's running into a lot of tourists. Literally. "These people need to get out of my way," was her irritated complaint last night. She'd had enough and got dinner to go from someplace and ate in Bryant Park, all by herself. Plus however-many-thousand other people were there last night.

My son and DIL are there to celebrate her uncle retiring from the NYPD (although, she grew up there and jumps at any chance to go visit). Unlike a character in a crime story, her uncle did not get shot in the line of duty two weeks ago.

LynnRodz said...

W.R., I am so jealous! New Zealand is the next destination in my travels, that or Peru. I haven't decided which one to visit first and which second. *sigh*

Janet, you would go there! Just between you and me, that happened to me twice. Once in Teotihuacán, outside of Mexico City. It took me a good while to climb all those steps to the top of the Pyramid of the Sun. Once on top I was looking around, I saw the Pyramid of the Moon on the right and the Pyramid of Quetzalcoatl on the left. I thought, now where is the Pyramid of the Sun? There were a few people standing together on the top with me, so I went over to them and asked. They looked at me like I was crazy and said, "You're standing on it." The same thing happened to me in Madrid at the Puerta del Sol. I blame it on too much sun and speaking Spanish. (Hmm, now that I think about it, perhaps I should go to New Zealand instead of embarrassing myself at Machu Picchu.)

Ask me where anything is in Paris and I'll tell you without looking at a map and that includes most Métro stations as well.

Julie said...

@Lynn Rodz - I've been a few places. Ask me where anything is in my closet, and I can't tell you. Ask me where anything is in my purse and I can't tell you.

This is perhaps related to my concerns related to NYC. Very much larger than Boston to me - and that only because it took me the first 30 years of my life to get that down.

Boston, if you don't know, is not overwhelmingly large.

To anyone but me.

Still, certain cities have seemed more logical to me than others.

For example, on my personal favorites list for "Logical:"
Anything in Switzerland
And now, it must be said... NYC. Although getting AROUND it is a nightmare. Ask me about the "Well, honey, maybe we should try the Verrazano Bridge" horror that almost got me divorced and thrown out of my own car in one fell swoop sometime. I still shudder.

And on my "Good Lord, Haven't We Already PASSED This Three Or Four Times?" list (or, "If This Traffic Doesn't Start Moving, I Am Going To Walk To That Store And Buy A Gun" list):
San Pedro Sula, Honduras (which was more like "Tranquilize Me and Tell Me When It's Over")
Los Angeles +/- 200 mi radius
San Fran (though it is pretty)
St. Louis

And on the topics of "Pyramids That Scared The Insides Out Of Me," yeah, Honduras. Very cool. Very terrifying. But not as terrifying as the drive to the pyramids, or the celebrating outside the hotel that night when Honduras won some major soccer game. The celebrating involved firearms. Lots and lots of firearms. My phone call home that night went something like this:
Me: "Hang on, I have to get out of the hallway."
Brian: "Is that... gunfire?!"
Me: "Um. Yeah. But it's outside. There are armed guards at the hotel doorway, so it's all good."

OK. Getting to it.


Leached Coral

LynnRodz said...

Julia, it must be those Spanish speaking countries, something in the water or cerveza that bring out the guns blazing.

You're right about Switzerland and London. And I agree, Boston is quite small as far as cities go. Then again, it's been ages since I was last there. You'll do fine in NYC, just do as Janet says and don't gawk too much. I know, it's hard not to.

Safe travels.

Joel Freiburger said...

Belated congrats to KC and everyone mentioned. Quote of the day: "You're in Manhattan now."

And thanks for the shoutout, Janet! Knock their socks off at WDC this weekend.

Gingermollymarilyn said...

Awesome entries. Congrats to all for such talented tidbits!

CynthiaMc said...

Hey y'all - just found out a little video I made on storyboarding has been picked up.

Unknown said...

Julie W and LynnRodz

It's WONDERFUL! I swear we were travelling in the Shire as soon as we got north of Auckland by about 15 mins, and all through the west of Lake Taupo we were still travelling through the Shire!

Also, we bypassed a snowy Mt Doom on our way to Wellington, so that was sheerly wonderful. We're off to Rivendell tomorrow, my only regret being that I'll not get to visit Edoras or the plains of the Rohirim :(

Still, next time....

(Also, I think New York would terrify me, too. I'm far too okker for big cities. I figger I look as green as I am, and I never feel comfortable again until I'm home. I really admire people who can navigate big cities without breaking a sweat)

Unknown said...

Cynthia Mc- congrats!! What a great feeling!

Julie said...

Cynthia - WOOT!!! Congratulations!!!
WR - That's how I felt precisely. Then I found Janet Reid's "The Woodland Creatire's Guide To New York City," and I shall never be the same! (Actual, live, unpaid customer testimonial).

"I let sheer terror keep me from New York City for years until I found 'The Guide,'" the same customer adds, "but last night I ventured forth alone onto the city's mean streets, and found them not so mean after all! I even got lost and worked it out on my own while enjoying a fabulous gyro platter for thirteen bucks - thirteen bucks in midtown Manhattan! - and wasn't afraid at all! Best yet, I actually talked to some people... and found them to be much friendlier than I had ever been led to believe. None of this would have been possible without 'The Guide.'"

Read 'The Woodland Creature's Guide' (cleverly disguised as a blog post about this weekend's conference), and You Too Can Have The Joy Of Feeling Confident In The Big Apple!!!


Going back to sleep now. :D


Unknown said...

congrats kitty
Submit Ebook for selling

Megan V said...

Well done Darling Kitty! Very creative. The format read so smoothly, I thought I was reading butter.

Dena-your entry made me chuckle :)

Everyone wrote amazing things in 100 words.

Congrats Cynthia on your video!

Anonymous said...

Cynthia, congratulations! That's great news.

W.R., so very jealous, but wow, how much fun.

Marc P said...

Hi Colin, sorry about slow response re WHO.. if memory serves he was working with Liz Sladen on another programme he was mainly a documentary film cameraman so was probably around the Tom Baker time - after she had stopped working for UNIT I guess, he asked her for the pic for me as he knew I was a fan - but as a little bit of a joke too I fancy :)

Unknown said...

Megan V - Thank you! This is the first time my writing has been likened to butter. I am flattered and, to be honest, a little hungry. Thanks again for the kind words.

Darling Kitty aka Calorie Bombshell aka Cindy