Friday, December 14, 2012


Violence changes you.
A violent death changes a family forever.

It changes how people see you, and talk to you. And about you.
It changes every aspect of your life.

Every Christmas, every birthday, every holiday, every occasion, someone is missing.

Suddenly you're not the middle child. You're the oldest or the youngest.

Suddenly the number of siblings you have, the number of children in the family is a loaded question.

Suddenly you never hear a name without thinking of someone else who had that name.

You're now someone else. You're The One Who Lost A.

Some people find a way out of that lost and terrible new place.
Some people live there forever.

I pray today's violence in Connecticut will change us in a better way.   No one, NOT ANYONE, wants little children to be martyrs to the Second Amendment.  The perpetrators of this crime were not responsible gun owners and but it's not responsible gun owners who are the problem.

We must solve this problem ourselves.  Politicians, in the frenzied grasp of money wielding lobbyists, are unable to see beyond their campaign coffers.
We must do this ourselves.

We must come up with a solution we can all live with.

Live with.

I pray we all want that. Especially those who live in or have glimpsed today the lost and terrible land of After.


Michael Seese said...

Most of the comments accompanying the Yahoo article were along the lines of, "Why can't there f--kers just off themselves in private?"

KayC said...

I am so thankful I live in Australia. Not only do we have strict shooter licence regulations, there are even fiercer rules on owning and storing firearms - and they keep getting tougher, which is fantastic.

Anonymous said...

Your words hit home. Someone once told me that I'd write about my brother some day. I could not see a picture of him, look at his clothes, even think of him without breaking further apart. How could I ever write about him? I would stain the paper with my tears.
Now, now I write about loss. And I honor my brother in whatever ways I can.
People ask if you have siblings. What do you say? I still say yes, I have a brother.
My children will not ever know an uncle. I'll never be an aunt. The plans we made, the dreams we shared - those are gone.
All that he could be was taken from him. It was not an act of violence such as the one who took so many today, but a car accident.
The anguish remains.
I pray that those who have lost someone today find some sort of...peace. It will take a long, long time. But perhaps they will find it. It won't actually be peace. I don't know how anyone could find that, but maybe some place in their soul where they can take a memory of the one who was lost, take that memory and say 'thank you for that time'. And that the pain, which never really goes away, is lessened enough so that it is not the only thing that holds you together.

J.L. Murphey said...

I may believe in the second amendment, but that doesn't give ANYONE the right to kill someone else.

Jesus wept is right.

Brenda Buchanan said...

Your words are so true, and so well said, my friend.

I will join you in praying for the children and adults killed today, and their grieving loved ones and for our society to find the will to deal with the gun issue in a way that honors life above all else.

Jesus wept, indeed.

Terri Lynn Coop said...

As the last member of my immediate family still in this existence, I've done the "had" dance since I was 6. I had a sister. Seven years later, I had a mom. My dad and brother have since joined the ranks of the departed.

This summer I lost a co-worker. Her daughter was about the same age I was when I became a "had." Everyone remarked on how well-adjusted and strong she was. But I saw through it. It broke my heart because I knew then that for the rest of her life she was "that poor girl who lost her mom."

I pray for the departed, but I weep for those left behind. For the lost, their way is clear. But for the families, their way is . . . I don't even have a good word for it. Especially the siblings. They are now the "brother/sister of one of those kids that got shot." I wish them peace.

Elissa M said...

Jesus is not the only one weeping.

Richard Brune said...

I live in a country where violence triumphs almost every day - where the dailies are suffused with stories of senseless human agony and familial loss. I understand how thinking and feeling human beings experience these events as a form of personal bodily violence. A disfiguration of all one believes in. From South Africa, my deepest thoughts and prayers remain with you.

JeffO said...

Beautifully said, Janet.

Joan Kane Nichols said...

You've expressed this so well. Thank you.

Robin Ruinsky said...

The People have to elect representatives who will pass and enforce strict gun control. The President has to lead on this as well.
There are no Second Amendment rights. Not if people stop hacking off the first part of it. They conveniently leave off the part about owning guns as part of a "well regulated militia" which is not just a blanket right to own guns.
This is political no matter how you try to look at it. It didn't happen in a vacuum. It happened because guns are big business.
Manufacturers are making big money on manufacturing death.

Anonymous said...

Whenever religious leaders cry out, "You'll get this gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers," I ask them "What kind of assault rifle would Jesus carry?" I guess it's "Turn the other cheek, so they can't see you pull your conceal and carry."

My heart breaks for the families of gun violence. Yesterday, it shattered.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to these families. There is simply no sense to such a tragedy.

Eileen said...

One failed shoe bomber and now everyone takes their shoes off in an airport for "security." Yet, we've had many, many, many more mass shootings- and no legislation or change. Boggles my mind.

Steve Stubbs said...

Beautifully said. I can't reasonably be called a gun nut because I do not own so much as a pocket knife. But I do not know what the solution is.

Do you?

Carolyn said...

One of my very best friends lost her toddler son to a head injury. Many years later, her husband was then tried (and acquitted) for murder.

I see everything you've written reflected in her life. The amazing thing is, she still loves life. She still lives life. Personally, I credit her amazing faith in God.

PJ Tierney said...

I'm in awe of you. You have captured the absolute, ongoing magnitude of this horrendous situation. You've brought it home, you made me cry. Again.