Monday, August 13, 2012

Results for the You SEND Me writing contest!

What a great array of entries for the You Send Me writing contest!  Way too many of you have brilliantly disturbed bodes well for horror fiction for years to come.

With no further ado, here are the results:

Kudos for a lovely beach story for the summer!
Alec Breton 6:04pm

An entry that gives a whole new meaning to beach read!
Cat 6:22pm

Special recognition for a great line!
"These are from a genuine Query Shark. She grabbed hold, and shook all the adverbs outta me" 
Laura Hughes, MittensMorgul 7:37pm

Debut reference to the Chum Bucket in a writing contest!
Ninidee 8:18pm

Oh how I love my fellow minimalists!
ShoppingQueen 8:35pm

One of the best typos of all time!
"explanation marks"
Wendy 8:37pm

GREAT punchline!
Eileen 8:58am
Judith Gonda 2:54pm

And here are the finalists!

Bellamama 6:14pm
She knelt in the brush between the trees, watching the men around the campfire argue, punch each other, and stir their beans.

Her brother joined her. “How meny you see?”

“Mor’ en three, but they don’ scar me!” She patted her riffle.

“You sure these is them what killed our ken?”

“Tha’s the one.” She jerked her chin. “Him wearin’ the red. Son of a beach!”

“We’ll git ‘im. Him that send gots to pay, so the good book says.”

“I’ll git Pa.” She backed away into the brush. “Don’ go shoot’n…I git the firs shot!”

Maggie 7:25pm
When you regain consciousness, your limbs are sore and heavy. Your mouth is sour. And you are totally confused by this fake beach, perched on the lido deck of a Festival Fun ship.
It takes several hazy moments to assess the situation and send the information back to your brain.
Anything broken? No. Good.
Bruises? Yes. Of course.
Scar? Nothing yet.
Blood? Splattered across your bikini. Must’ve been the last punch to that bitch Brandi’s face.
You stand up and the crowd cheers. “More!” they yell.
If only you hadn’t misheard Ken when he invited you on a Bruise Cruise

DSH 11:09pm


Beach trip cancelled. Post-op. Home recovering.

You had the operation?

Yeah. Doc snipped it off.

Dude, intense.

Show you the scar

I'd rather a punch in the face.

Chickenshit. Sending photos.

DO NOT! Miss it?

? It was tiny. Didn't know about it, 'til it got infected. Can't use it for anything.

I use mine . . . ALL THE TIME.

You do? What for?

Duhhhh, whatever I can.

Use your appendix?

Appendectomy! Thank God :) :) :)


That it wasn't the other operation.

What other operation?

You know. THE operation.


How you always felt like a woman on the inside.

How I what???

Sheila JG 12:02am
There’s this girl at work, and I’m pretty sure she’s bullying me. The attacks were subtle at first, like sending me to the wrong place. I missed Pablo’s goodbye party, which hurt like a punch to the gut.

Then there were the feigned mis-hearings. “I don’t know how to find a good bitch, Ken,” she’d say loudly. She knew I’d said, “beach.” “You want to eat scar goo?” when I’d said, “escargot.”

It hurt to see her being kind to others. John, Zooey, Samuel, and Martin, they all loved her. Not me. I was shunned; repeatedly told, “Siri is unavailable.”

Kate Outhwaite 12:22pm
The voices ring out across the
beach and into the dunes where I ponder changing fashions in names. ‘Ken’ was not in fashion even when I was young, the only child of a late marriage: an unexpected, barely wanted bonus; a scar across a comfortable, controlled union; a punch in the stomach of their existence.

Of course, the voices could be calling a dog but I know they are not.

I scoop up more sand to cover the exposed foot and hum my mother’s favourite song, “You
Send Me”, as I slip Ken’s little shoe into my coat pocket.

DD3123 3:11pm
My fortress of wood blocks loomed over the kindergarten battlefield. Lego men cheered from the ramparts while plastic soldiers tended the wounded. A full company of My Little Ponies lay broken in the fields. Barbie and Ken never made it off the beach. I don't know why Courtney Williams decided to send a football our way, why she struck my impenetrable bastion dead center, or why my castle's loss would scar me for life. But I do know why I had to punch her in the nose. If I hadn't, my dear boy, I'd have never met your mother.

Mark Koopmans 3:50pm
Scratching her legs – the damned mosquitoes would scar her – Liz stared at her friend.

“Hamish, what does ‘ken’ even mean?”

“It means I ‘know.’”

Taking in the wreckage strewn across the beach, Liz punched the Scotsman in the shoulder.

“Well, do you ken what happened to the outrigger?”

“No idea. Dave was steering, but he –.”

Liz interrupted him. She didn’t want to think about the stacked bodies at the base of the tree.

“Do you think they’ll send anyone?”

“No, but I’ll have enough food.
I’ve never had haggis using a human stomach. I’m sure you’ll taste just fine.”

After much gnashing of fangs,  I gave up trying to pick a winner and called in reinforcements. Fortunately Patty Blount is a writer, thus I knew I would find her draped over her computer at 11:30pm on a Sunday night.

I emailed outlining my predicament. She read the entries and tried to weasel out of picking just one winner.  Only after dire threats of defenestration, exsanguination and discombobulation, did she give me a number.

Kate Outhwaite 12:22pm takes the prize: a slightly sharked edition of SEND by Patty Blount.


Patty Blount said...

Congrats to the winner and many, many thanks to my step-shark for running the contest and to all who submitted entries. Hope you all had as much fun as I did!

Sarah said...

That was my choice too. Well done!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I'm happy to have been mentioned. Maribeth:)

Sheila JG said...

Wow, that was fast. I guess it's true that sharks don't sleep.

Congrats Kate! That one gave me the shivers.

Colin Smith said...

Well done, Kate! :) Thanks for another challenging contest, Janet!

Mark Koopmans said...

As always, thanks to Janet for another 100-word contest.

It was great to make the final cut, and congrats to Kate :)

Mike said...

Congrats to the winners!!

Bill Scott said...

Always the accomplice . . .


Cindy C said...

Congratulations to all the finalists. Kate's story gave me a chill.

Unknown said...

Congratulations, Kate. :) This was definitely fun. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Bellamama said...

Oooo, the winning story was creepy! Well done! And I was excited to be on the finalist list! It's something to get the Shark's attention!

Katharina Gerlach said...

Congratulations, and I'm really glad I was mentioned too. Isn't it weird how tastes differed? The winning entry is the one I liked least. It makes me too uncomfortable. My favorite was DD3123 3:11pm (with the lego-fortress).

DD3123 said...

I liked that one too, but I'm a little bias, maybe :)

Congrats to Kate for winning!

Kate Outhwaite said...

With apologies for the delayed response - I seem to be wearing "Kryptonite for Communications Systems" at the moment!

Thanks Janet and Patty - what a thrill and an honour! I can't wait to get my grubby paws on "Send" which sounds terrific.

Well done to all the finalists and thanks to everyone who enters. I love reading the entries - so many stories from so few words never fails to surprise and delight. (I loved the Lego fortress one too!)

Finally, thanks, as always, to Janet for organising the contests and, on this occasion, for letting me give my inner psycho the chance to have a walk on the beach!