Special recognition for bravery for writing this line: "dastardly duo Sherman & Reid."
Alec Breton 6:02pm
Special award for a warning to writers particularly any who might be "in love with his plot"
Tracy Sallis 6:02pm
Lovely subtle twist (albeit with dead otters) :(((
Ashley Zimmerman 7:51pm
Wait, what is this with dead otters?? YIKES
Wry Wryter 9:55pm
And now you're toasting Teddy??
Naomi 12:10am
Lovely twist (with no dead otters! :)))
Margaret G 8:22pm
Special award for truly terrifying
Amber Mahaffey 8:29pm
Special cease and desist order for puns
Terri Lynn Coop 11:15am
And the finalists are:
Michelle Kollar 6:39pm
If my otter made me toast,
I’d say,
You Otter spread that butter.
If my otter sat on a hot day in front of a fan,
I’d say,
You Otter drink water.
If my otter was bouncing on a trampoline,
I’d say,
You Otter be a spotter.
If my otter played Mouse Trap,
I’d say,
You Otter not bother.
For you ate my toast,
And sat lounging in front of my fan,
And bounced on my trampoline.
You Otter made a mess.
Now I must be mean.
You Otter! It is time to clean!
I’d say,
You Otter spread that butter.
If my otter sat on a hot day in front of a fan,
I’d say,
You Otter drink water.
If my otter was bouncing on a trampoline,
I’d say,
You Otter be a spotter.
If my otter played Mouse Trap,
I’d say,
You Otter not bother.
For you ate my toast,
And sat lounging in front of my fan,
And bounced on my trampoline.
You Otter made a mess.
Now I must be mean.
You Otter! It is time to clean!
SheilaG 6:51pm
Splash! Zap! Gurgle . . .
Four letters remained on the pier, the “I” having just fallen through the sabotaged slats on the dock. It had been stomped on by bouncing lamp, who’d followed the “I” into the water.
“He’s toast,” Otter said. “It was a good trap.”
Bouncing Fan whirred with excitement. Geez, Otter thought, get that guy a surge protector.
“Frickin’ show-off,” Fan said. They’d told Luxo he was going to do his shtick before the fireworks show. One practice run first.
“You’d have made a nice ‘O,’” Otter said. “I’m sorry they didn’t go with POXAR.”
Four letters remained on the pier, the “I” having just fallen through the sabotaged slats on the dock. It had been stomped on by bouncing lamp, who’d followed the “I” into the water.
“He’s toast,” Otter said. “It was a good trap.”
Bouncing Fan whirred with excitement. Geez, Otter thought, get that guy a surge protector.
“Frickin’ show-off,” Fan said. They’d told Luxo he was going to do his shtick before the fireworks show. One practice run first.
“You’d have made a nice ‘O,’” Otter said. “I’m sorry they didn’t go with POXAR.”
Bicyclefish 5:44am
Toast is a versatile food and one of Otter's favorites.
He could eat it with butter. He could eat it with jam.
He could eat while dancing and waving a fan.
He could eat it one handed while bouncing on the bed.
He could eat it (with difficulty) standing on his head.
He could eat playing adventurer, avoiding booby traps,
Or eat it cuddled up in a warm, cozy lap.
Illustrations (by a friend):
He could eat it with butter. He could eat it with jam.
He could eat while dancing and waving a fan.
He could eat it one handed while bouncing on the bed.
He could eat it (with difficulty) standing on his head.
He could eat playing adventurer, avoiding booby traps,
Or eat it cuddled up in a warm, cozy lap.
Illustrations (by a friend):
Charley 9:09am
“It’s here, Hairy Otter, your magical wand.
Now you’ll bespell and ensorcell that blonde
You’ve been mooning about, lo these dubious days,
While every brunette is bemoaning your ways.”
“No more,” said Sir Otter. “A redhead I seek,
Fur thoroughly auburn wherever I peek.”
“You’re hopeless. You’re silly. Your tail’s in a bunch.
She’d trap you and toast you and eat you for lunch.”
“Not so,” said Sir Otter, “she fans my desire.
Her flouncing and bouncing set ardor afire.”
“Go back to the blonde one. Think inside the box.
The lady you’re chasing, you fool, she’s a fox!”
Now you’ll bespell and ensorcell that blonde
You’ve been mooning about, lo these dubious days,
While every brunette is bemoaning your ways.”
“No more,” said Sir Otter. “A redhead I seek,
Fur thoroughly auburn wherever I peek.”
“You’re hopeless. You’re silly. Your tail’s in a bunch.
She’d trap you and toast you and eat you for lunch.”
“Not so,” said Sir Otter, “she fans my desire.
Her flouncing and bouncing set ardor afire.”
“Go back to the blonde one. Think inside the box.
The lady you’re chasing, you fool, she’s a fox!”
Otin 9:40am
“I’m not a fan of Beaver’s new friend, Otter,” Ward Cleaver said, taking a bite of his buttered toast.
“I like him a lot better than that hyperactive boy, Rabbit,” June replied. “He made me nervous the way he was always bouncing around the house.”
“Yeah, or his buddy, Parrot. That son of a gun didn’t know when to shut his trap!”
“Where are the Beav and Otter now, Ward?”
“At the river.”
“What are they doing down there?”
“Probably building a dam,” Ward chuckled.
“You’re such an ass sometimes, Ward. I could kill you for naming my son, Beaver.”
I love all the finalists and I'm just not going to choose one. I'm going to choose them all.
Why not! It's summer! It's time to go crazy!
So, Otin 9:40am, Charley 9:09am, Bicyclefish 5:44am (and your friend!), SheilaG and Michelle Kollar 6:51pm send me your mailing addresses via email and we'll get you an amazing prize!
“I like him a lot better than that hyperactive boy, Rabbit,” June replied. “He made me nervous the way he was always bouncing around the house.”
“Yeah, or his buddy, Parrot. That son of a gun didn’t know when to shut his trap!”
“Where are the Beav and Otter now, Ward?”
“At the river.”
“What are they doing down there?”
“Probably building a dam,” Ward chuckled.
“You’re such an ass sometimes, Ward. I could kill you for naming my son, Beaver.”
I love all the finalists and I'm just not going to choose one. I'm going to choose them all.
Why not! It's summer! It's time to go crazy!
So, Otin 9:40am, Charley 9:09am, Bicyclefish 5:44am (and your friend!), SheilaG and Michelle Kollar 6:51pm send me your mailing addresses via email and we'll get you an amazing prize!
10 comments:
These are all really cute! Good job and congratulations!
OMG Crazy Shark is crazy!
Congrats to all the winners and I heart the illustration to infinity squared.
My punfest is dedicated to a friend whose name is Otterness and whose online handle and golfing nickname is "Otterpar." This one was just too much fun.
Terri
Congratulations to all the winners! I loved reading these.
omg, i'm one of the finalist/winners! someone likes my doggerel! (i refuse to insult proper poets by calling my stuff poetry; heh,heh).
Congrats to all you others, and thanks, Janet!
Terri's made me laugh out loud, please don't make her cease and desist.
Thanks for the contest!
Oh I really love all of these finalists, too! Indeed happy, crazy summer awards to them all. I love Bicyclefish's friend's illustrations (is that cheating? :D I love it anyway).
Glad y'all shined, especially since I couldn't get my act together to even enter this one, which seemed very fun.
I love them all, too, but I have to say that bicyclefish and Charly were my personal favorites.
Congrats to the finalists. I enjoyed reading all of these!
It was all good fun. Congratulations to all and from all a good byte.
Awesome!!!
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