I think that house needs some serious remodeling. And to think, I'm trying to cut pages from my 344 page (double spaced) novel. I officially don't feel bad about my word count any more. :)
Would be much more impressive if it was in the world's largest three ring binder. Are you sure this really isn't a house, with someone named William living inside it? You're going to have to give us more details on this one... where did this thing come from? Did it drop out of the sky?
I don't think Barnes & Noble carries a cardboard Featured Display setup big enough to hold that thing. But come to think of it, a book that large would look great on my own bookshelf, next to the anvils, cast iron cauldrons and other 7-ton what-have-yous that I keep on my flimsy walmart shelves. I second the wishful thinking that this is the product of size 300 font.
I volunteer to read it. I'm serious. If we can work out a way to get this to me, I will read every page and write a book report for you and all your bloggy minions. I can't resist the premise of a 2000+ page book about William's house. Who the hell is William? What's his house like? So many questions. I'm sold. I seriously volunteer to read this.
This history book, second in a series, that my writing partner and I have in the works will be about that many pages when finished ... just sayin. for a novel though? umm did bill e goat write this?
*Breaking new at ten: The recent accelerated disappearance of the rainforests has been attributed today to an unknown man known only as "William". It's believed that, as an two fingered salute to the current literary establishment, "William" sent copies of his "manuscript" to each of the thousands of editors and agents across America It propmted an area of rainforest the size of Bolivia to be felled in order to replenish paper stocks.*
If I was the one who wrote that book I would either be thrilled, or motified, that you posted about it...proud or feeling really stupid that I dedicated so much of my life to it. Damn, I still want to know what's on that sticky-note.
Is this from that endless number of monkeys we've all heard about who were given endless number of typewriters? If so, I think they've shown great restraint.
It occurs to me you had no problem burning through 400+ MSS for the Liz Norris competition. This is the equivalent of only four or five manuscripts of normal size. Probably an afternoon's reading. I would like to tap your phone and listen when you describe it to editors, though. The letters OMG! come to mind.
Congratulations to the author for what must have been a good query to earn the request for a full. For their work ethic, too. Are you going to suggest they trim, or break it up into a couple of dozen books?
It's supposed to be published Dec 22, 2012. This manuscript is the remainder of the Mayan calendar, as calculated by a computer named "William" with a formula known as "HOUSE" (human order under solar expectations), and covers the next 2011 years. Each page contains exactly three sentences that accurately describe the year. Last page has exactly 12 lines, each containing 21 words.
Interestingly enough, page 2011's sentences are: "Space dust contains plague that transforms most of Earth's inhabitants to zombies." "Ouch." "Did you know that computers aren't immune to the space dust virus?"
Having spent my childhood in my aunt's print shop, I'm pretty confident in saying that looks like more than 2k pages.
Imagine a ream of paper stacked next to the last photo. Now imagine four of them. While the pages do get a little fluffed when printed on, it still looks more like 3k to me.
46 comments:
So you'll get right on that...
Wait. What? That's supposed to be ONE novel??
I hope it's printed in 40-point font, otherwise that's half a million words.
At least it's the novel. I was afraid the query was that long. (heh, heh)
They've got money to burn down at the P.O. I take it! Geez Louise.
It's a query, and they sent the entire manuscript? Did they provide return postage?
If that's going to get published, I hope it's out soon. I'm already 37 and not sure I'd be able to finish it before I die.
Each time I think about how my first novel is too long, I see something like this and I feel a smidgin better. :D
That much about some guy's house? My house would take no more than 100 pages.
When did you sign George RR Martin as a client?
I think that house needs some serious remodeling. And to think, I'm trying to cut pages from my 344 page (double spaced) novel. I officially don't feel bad about my word count any more. :)
Steve Forti--Or Stephen King! :)
And to think, it will be judged on the first 5 (FIVE) of those 2,012 pages...
I think this is only the synopsis. The novel itself will be flown in by cargo aircraft.
Heh heh
What are the odds those are pages are numbered?
Bad time to overlook footers.
Is s/he expected to have the ms returned with comments? What does the SASE look like?
I think the Mayans are toying with you, Janet.
Holy crap.
It was really engaging until around page 830. Then it lost me.
What's on the sticky note? "My life's work. Vol. 1. More later. Cheers!"
you guys crack me up!
Wha...but I thought it blew away at the end of "Wonder Boys!"
The real question is, who is wearing a denim jacket and full-length jeans in this heat?
Would be much more impressive if it was in the world's largest three ring binder. Are you sure this really isn't a house, with someone named William living inside it? You're going to have to give us more details on this one... where did this thing come from? Did it drop out of the sky?
But it says right there in your submission requirements, "send cover letter and first 5000 pages of your manuscript."
::polishes glasses::
Oh cwap . . .
I don't think Barnes & Noble carries a cardboard Featured Display setup big enough to hold that thing. But come to think of it, a book that large would look great on my own bookshelf, next to the anvils, cast iron cauldrons and other 7-ton what-have-yous that I keep on my flimsy walmart shelves. I second the wishful thinking that this is the product of size 300 font.
I volunteer to read it. I'm serious. If we can work out a way to get this to me, I will read every page and write a book report for you and all your bloggy minions. I can't resist the premise of a 2000+ page book about William's house. Who the hell is William? What's his house like? So many questions. I'm sold. I seriously volunteer to read this.
This history book, second in a series, that my writing partner and I have in the works will be about that many pages when finished ... just sayin. for a novel though? umm did bill e goat write this?
Bit long for a first novel, isn’t it? What happens if you tell the author to rewrite the whole thing and resubmit? And did you sign him/her/it?
This ends on a cliffhanger and is the first in a trilogy, right?
Janet, did you actually request those pages? Or are they unsolicited?
I gotta agree with Ms. Reid and say these comments have had me laughing out loud for a good two minutes solid.
I'm guessing this dude hates trees.......
*Breaking new at ten: The recent accelerated disappearance of the rainforests has been attributed today to an unknown man known only as "William". It's believed that, as an two fingered salute to the current literary establishment, "William" sent copies of his "manuscript" to each of the thousands of editors and agents across America It propmted an area of rainforest the size of Bolivia to be felled in order to replenish paper stocks.*
I have no words, except: wow. Just wow.
How many ink cartridges does it take to print a 2012-page manuscript?
If I was the one who wrote that book I would either be thrilled, or motified, that you posted about it...proud or feeling really stupid that I dedicated so much of my life to it.
Damn, I still want to know what's on that sticky-note.
Is this from that endless number of monkeys we've all heard about who were given endless number of typewriters? If so, I think they've shown great restraint.
Oh my God, I thought it was the federal budget.
It occurs to me you had no problem burning through 400+ MSS for the Liz Norris competition. This is the equivalent of only four or five manuscripts of normal size. Probably an afternoon's reading. I would like to tap your phone and listen when you describe it to editors, though. The letters OMG! come to mind.
This guy (or gal) saw Marcel Proust's Things of Remembrance Past and said "Challenge accepted."
I sincerely hope there's a "the end" on that last page...
On the other hand...
Congratulations to the author for what must have been a good query to earn the request for a full. For their work ethic, too. Are you going to suggest they trim, or break it up into a couple of dozen books?
Large print?
It's supposed to be published Dec 22, 2012. This manuscript is the remainder of the Mayan calendar, as calculated by a computer named "William" with a formula known as "HOUSE" (human order under solar expectations), and covers the next 2011 years. Each page contains exactly three sentences that accurately describe the year. Last page has exactly 12 lines, each containing 21 words.
Interestingly enough, page 2011's sentences are:
"Space dust contains plague that transforms most of Earth's inhabitants to zombies."
"Ouch."
"Did you know that computers aren't immune to the space dust virus?"
Maybe it's a sequel to Raintree County.
Dear Ms. Reid
What monologuist/novelist Spalding Gray referred to as "The Monster In The Box".
(The finished draft of his novel "Impossible Vacation" went to the editor at 1900 pages.)
dylan
Props to whoever is in the picture rocking the jean jacket / jean pants combo.
Having spent my childhood in my aunt's print shop, I'm pretty confident in saying that looks like more than 2k pages.
Imagine a ream of paper stacked next to the last photo. Now imagine four of them. While the pages do get a little fluffed when printed on, it still looks more like 3k to me.
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