The most Electrifying* unSuitable* Qontest* EVER! opens 11/19

Last Sunday I attended a reading by Jeff Somers, Evan Mandery, and Sean Ferrell. It was organized by the devilishly handsome Brooks Sherman

These guys are so awesome and talented and funny that all I do is howl with laughter (and pick up the bar tab) when I'm with them.


It dawned on me that the series of photos from this event would be deliciously diabolical prompts for a writing contest!

Usual rules: write a story using 100 words or less. Reference the photos in any order you choose. You MUST reference ALL the photos. Bonus points if you manage to include a reference to Brooks. Reference means that each photo must illustrate a particular moment in the story. (the words Photo x do NOT count for the word count)

Here's an example:


Dan said "You guys should pretend to be each other."
Sean thought that was a good idea until he realized he would have to be Jeff. (photo 1)



Post the story in the comments column of this blog post. Contest opens Saturday 11/19 at 9am. Closes Sunday 11/20 at 9pm. 36 hours of terrifying torment.

Oh, and the prize? Books from all three of the authors. If you already own any of them, and you win, we can come up with a substitute.

Ready?
Set?
DRAFT!
(comments closed until 11/19 at 9am)
GO!
Contest now closed! Winner announced as soon as I quit howling with laughter.


Got questions? Tweet to me @janet_reid and I'll answer

Photo 1: Left to right Dan Krokos, Sean Ferrell, Jeff Somers

Jeff Somers, Sean Ferrell

Photo 3: Evan Mandery

Photo 4: Sean Ferrell

Photo 5: Jeff Somers

Photo 6: the captive audience

*The Electric Church by Jeff Somers

*The Man in the Empty Suit by Sean Ferrell

*Q by Evan Mandery

Can you find all ten mistakes?

This letter was sent to an editor in NYC who works at a publisher that does not accept unagented projects. (Read this, and you'll understand why!)

Can you spot all ten errors?



Hi (editor's name redacted)

I would like to speak with you and your team about an instant book project entitled (redacted)

We anticipate this book will be a blockbuster for this Christmas, as it profoundly captures the (redacted) and [is] a prophetic revelation concerning the outcome of the 2012 presidential election, who will win and why the Lord has chosen him.

You can learn more about us at (redacted)

Please give me a call at the number below so we can discuss this further. The book is complete and ready for market. I will send you all a PDF of the entire manuscript upon request.


1.  Don't  EVER plan to speak with an editor to pitch a  project. You've got to entice them fully at the written query stage.

2. Most editors, even if they work in a large publishing company, do not have teams.  This is not a Japanese car assembly plant or the NY Yankees.

3. Instant book project.  These are "crashed" books, and they're normally for breaking news or current events with red hot interest. They are not initiated by query letters from unknown writers.

4. Blockbuster is a term from the movies.

5. Christmas release is not a term you'll find in publishing.  Christmas books are released in October and November. In other words, you're too late.

6. The outcome of the 2012 Presidential election will be old news the day after the election. Which is just about when this book would be published.

7. Don't expect an agent or editor to go to your website for information that should be in a query.

8. Don't expect an agent or editor to call you. Most initial contact is by email.

9. "Ready for market" implies that all the publisher has to do is slap a cover on it and ship it to bookstores.  This demonstrates a complete and utter lack of understanding about the value a publisher adds to a book, and the publishing process.  More than that, it tells me the writer will be someone who does not appreciate those things and thus will be VERY difficult to deal with.

10. Editors and agents generally prefer text documents for manuscripts. They're easier to reformat and transmit.

and the obvious one of course is that this query went to an editor who doesn't take unagented submissions and whose area of expertise isn't even close to what this book is about.

When "the world's toughest book critics" pick you...

it's a pretty good day!

yowza!

We're in pretty good company here! RT announces the nominees for Best First Mystery of 2011, and there's Steve Ulfelder on the list. Yow!!!

I am, sir, your devoted admirer

It's not too often (i.e. never in living memory) a press release might actually be a great piece of flash fiction.

And yet, here it is.



My hat's off to: John Shiffert, Director of University Relations at Clayton State University (Home of the 2011 NCAA Division II Women's Basketball Champions)

DePoy Kills Off Fever Devilin… King and Eco Claim Unfair Advantage in Literary Struggle

Morrow, Ga., Nov. 8, 2011 – On the same day that Stephen King and Umberto Eco both have new novels hitting the book shelves, Clayton State University’s Phillip DePoy dropped a bombshell in the sixth installment of his Fever Devilin mystery novel series, also released today. As DePoy explained to a rapt audience at a reading this noon in the Clayton State Loch Shop, he killed off Fever Devilin, the first-person narrator of the series, in the very first page of “A Corpse’s Nightmare.”

As can probably be guessed, Devilin is the corpse in question, leaving DePoy with something of a challenge after, in effect, writing the protagonist out of the script at the start of the book. Possibly more shocking is the thought that DePoy had in some sense committed a virtual literary hari-kari, since the Fever Devilin character, a Georgia folklorist by trade, sometimes bears a striking resemblance to author/folklorist DePoy. (And an alliterative connection as well… Phillip DePoy… Fever Devilin.)

However, not to worry, as DePoy made clear later in the reading. “A Corpse’s Nightmare” isn’t a one-page book, and the Clayton State Theatre will not need a new director for Thursday’s opening of “Moonshine and Magnolias.” As DePoy pointed out to his audience, while he liked the literary device of disposing of the first-person narrator at the start of the book, the challenge to the book came after page one – what to do for the rest of the story. It was a challenge that DePoy relished. In fact, he noted that most people will, consciously or unconsciously, look for challenges in their lives, a truism that should also attract readers to “A Corpse’s Nightmare.”

Without spoiling the suspense in the rest of the novel (Minotaur Books; $25.99; hardcover) suffice it to say that DePoy brings Devilin back to life, borrowing from a real-life medical miracle he witnessed decades ago as an X-ray technician at Piedmont Hospital. In fact, Devilin is so lively that DePoy fans will be pleased to know that the seventh Fever Devilin mystery is due at the publisher by year’s end.

"A Corpse's Nightmare" will be The Loch Shop Book of the Week from Nov. 8 through Nov. 11, selling at a 30 percent discount, so the $25.99 cover price will be reduced to just $18.19. The Loch Shop is located on the first floor of the Clayton State Student Center.


“Moonshine and Magnolias,” the fall production of the Clayton State Theatre, is a script written by Clayton State graduate Kalani Fraser (Fayetteville), under commission from Stately Oaks Plantation. A portrayal of  the City of Jonesboro that will initially performed by the students of the Clayton State Theater, under the direction of DePoy, the show dates are Nov. 10, Nov. 11, Nov. 12, Nov. 17, and Nov. 18 at 7:30 p.m. All performances will be held in the Clayton State Theatre, room 132 of the University’s Arts & Sciences Building. General admission is $5, although LakerCard holders are admitted free.

Maybe Fever Devilin will be there, too.

A unit of the University System of Georgia, Clayton State University is an outstanding comprehensive metropolitan university located 15 miles southeast of downtown Atlanta.

hubba hubba!

My client Warren Richey blurbed this book so of course I was interested in taking a look. Then I saw the cover.

Yowza!

I'd buy this for the cover alone, but if you really want to know what the book is about:


Fearless is the story of a remarkable individual who accepts no personal limits—including fear. Freya Hoffmeister, a forty-six-year-old former sky diver, gymnast, marksman, and Miss Germany contestant, left her twelve-year-old son behind to paddle alone and unsupported around Australia—a year-long adventure that virtually every expert guaranteed would get her killed. She planned not only to survive the 9,420-mile trip through huge, shark-infested seas, but to do it faster than the only other paddler
who did it.