Someone needs to make one of those black-framed "motivational" posters with the phrase "a veritable black hole of hope and promise" on it for a few well known vanity outfits out there.
It should also have the bloodied remains of a unicorn on it for authenticity.
I would also love to personally deliver the section of his post dedicated to "indie" publishing to everyone who has made the argument that they're "Just like [insert name of underdog musician here]". It should be written in gold leaf on silk for prominent display in their offices.
(Also, I may actually love him a little for making "hateful spasms" possibly the most awesome euphemism for "bad characters" ever written.)
I was all set to throw some Chuck Norris facts out...like people wear Superman pajamas but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Then I read this and now I bow my head in defeat...and respect.
This is what I said on his comments. I think it sums it up.
I just found your blog at Janet Reid’s suggestion. Holy crap on a Jesus stick. I want to have your baby.
Wait.
Did I say that out loud?
That was my warped way of saying that I loved this post and will definitely be returning. A lot. And possibly stalking. What’s your address again?? (kidding)
Great blog, I love it! Thanks for the link! Also... "the sucking maw of quality, a veritable black hole of hope and promise that leeches the dreams from the minds of little girls sleeping and replaces those dreams with nightmares where unicorns are stabbed repeatedly by interlopers on icy sidewalks and left to whimper and bleat until the police come and finally end their misery with a single round from a service revolver bang"
You must admit.. He has a way with words, and quite vivid imagery.
13 comments:
I haven't added a new blog to my watch list in over a year. I added this one today. That was so great! Thanks:)
Someone needs to make one of those black-framed "motivational" posters with the phrase "a veritable black hole of hope and promise" on it for a few well known vanity outfits out there.
It should also have the bloodied remains of a unicorn on it for authenticity.
I would also love to personally deliver the section of his post dedicated to "indie" publishing to everyone who has made the argument that they're "Just like [insert name of underdog musician here]". It should be written in gold leaf on silk for prominent display in their offices.
(Also, I may actually love him a little for making "hateful spasms" possibly the most awesome euphemism for "bad characters" ever written.)
I was all set to throw some Chuck Norris facts out...like people wear Superman pajamas but Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Then I read this and now I bow my head in defeat...and respect.
This guy is awesome.
Hysterical, thanks. There's definitely a lot of Kindle-poop out there clogging up the literary world.
Hey, thanks, too, for dropping by my blog to comment on my GHOST COUNTRY blatherings. I'm honored.
Tough love. It's great. And like a comment above, I've added him to my must-read blog list.
I just wish he wouldn't sugar-coat it so much. :)
When the writepocalypse goes down I'm going to wherever Chuck Wendig is and living three feet behind him.
Amen.
This is what I said on his comments. I think it sums it up.
I just found your blog at Janet Reid’s suggestion. Holy crap on a Jesus stick. I want to have your baby.
Wait.
Did I say that out loud?
That was my warped way of saying that I loved this post and will definitely be returning. A lot. And possibly stalking. What’s your address again??
(kidding)
Thanks Janet!
Is he single?
Because if he is, and even if he's not, I have a sister-in-law I'd like to introduce him to.
You know, shy guys like him smolder, she like smolderers, (I know, smolderers is not a word,) anyway, why doesn't he say what's really on his mind?
Unicorn, monkey, manatee, orangutan: the wee lads got a bestiary in his bonnet.
He's got a great blog! J. A. Konrath says a lot of the same things on his blog. The cover has to be professional, as well as the content.
Great blog, I love it! Thanks for the link!
Also...
"the sucking maw of quality, a veritable black hole of hope and promise that leeches the dreams from the minds of little girls sleeping and replaces those dreams with nightmares where unicorns are stabbed repeatedly by interlopers on icy sidewalks and left to whimper and bleat until the police come and finally end their misery with a single round from a service revolver bang"
You must admit.. He has a way with words, and quite vivid imagery.
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