It took a while to drag The Slithery One out of her hazmat suit, put a drink in her hand, and ask her to judge the contest.
Actually getting her disrobed and drunk didn't take any time at all. Getting her eyes to focus and her fingers on the keyboard...well, let's just say that took a direct plea from the Wombat of Terror.
To refresh your memory: Barbara was caught kissing a dinosaur.
Your challenge was to explain who and why.
Several of you had lines that just cracked me up:
Toni LP Kelner "fellow reptile"
DRM7476 "a stretch too far"
Karin "how about a string theory setting"
Wry Wryter "The neighbor's insolent children look delectable"
Jm Diaz "that, my friend, is how you get a happy meal"
Absolutely the funniest subtle joke in years:
Bane of Anubis "fly-by-night paleontologist Dirk Diggler"
A very accurate description of The Slithery One:
Lucy Woodhull "She girded her loins (narrowly avoiding a Charlie Horse)"
And the two finalists:
Sure, it’s gonna to cost me a month’s pay to cover Poelle’s bar tab, but as I watched my old buddy Barney get his first play since the Jurassic, I knew my reputation as the world’s best wingman was secured.
“Dahling, I looove it!” cried La Slitherina as she surveyed the preparations for the evening’s performance of Walking with Dinosaurs.
Poelle swirled her dirty martini as she circled one of the animatronics.
“It’s perfect, and just the thing to keep me one step ahead of the Sharkly one.”
She caressed the beast—her ruby nails skittered along its hide—and pictured a future full of beguiling would-be clients from under the cold fins of her adversary.
“Shark skin is so passé,” she cooed, her lips brushing along its jaw. “You, sir, are going to make a fine pair of shoes.”
And the winner, selected by the Slithery One herself, is Cheryl. Cheryl, if you'll send me your mailing address we'll get a copy of Kristan Higgins RITA award winning book off to you in the mail.