This contest generated the most entries we've had: 165!!
There were a lot of good entries with Fairbanks, as in Alaska, rather than Fairbank, as in the right word, sadly.
I always like seeing the clever references you work in:
Reference to the agency
(Rachael Harrie 6:10am)
Reference to Twilight
Reference to Sorche Fairbank
(Malia Sutton 11:11am)
(Bill Plante 11:37am)
Reference to Winnie the Pooh
Reference to last week's contest
(The Zuccini 8:54am)
Reference to my sale list
Sarah W (10:03am)
And what contest could be complete without a reference to cupcakes!
(Claire Svendsen 10:05am)
Two entries took minimalism to a new low (word count that is!)
(Toni Lynn 11:10PM)
There were some entries with wonderful lines:
"The Revolution, it seemed, would not be televised"
"Attorny Notzo Fairbank, Esq"
(C.R. Evers 1:42am)
"She got the Mercedes, I got the Honeywagon Blues."
(wry wryter 8:43am)
“Wag on!” he yelled as he transformed into the quadruped Terrier Man and darted into the yard. (Mama Bear 9:34am)
Sheila and I staggered off the Honeywagon, a combination tunnel of love, centrifuge and hayride (Ulysses 10:01am)
Worthington Thomas Fairbank, cursed by thoughtless parents to a life without monogrammed items
In a pivotal miss-stake, Mick opened a huge gash in the metal.
Robert entered FairBank, hoping its namesake meant the loan officer here was more reasonable than that jerk over at CruelBank.
(Steve Forti 11:21am)
Why was I surprised that a restaurant called the Honeywagon had crappy signs?
(The Sentence Sleuth 4:15pm)
Eat shit and live, you blood-sucking scumbag!
Someone's been reading too much metafiction!
Adam Kirchhoff 3:56pm
Great story with too many words, but still, special recognition:
Two entries just cracked me up
Joseph L Selby (8:54am) (and yes, I know you can't see the Potomac from the White House, but who cares)
Ronda Gibb Hinrischsen (2:48pm)
These entries made the final cut:
Linda Leszczuk (1:40am)
Patrick DiOrio (10:07am)
J.C. Montgomery (10:11pm)
Malcolm Matthews (10:42am)
Michelle McLean (10:43am)
de la O (11:33am)
The three finalists are:
Sha'el, Princess of Pixies (3:32pm)
“Oh, My God, this IS a pivotal moment”
“For you, maybe. But I’m a traditionalist. I have a stake in this, and I’m not happy.”
“But think about it – umm what’s your name?”
“Ah, yes. As I was saying, think about it. No more mindless flying, buzzing, dancing or any of that nonsense.”
“There are flaws in your reasoning, brother. Won’t you miss the Fairbank? The exploring? The picnic buzzing? It’s tradition.”
“But with the new honeywagon concept there will be no need. Freedom from tired wings at last.”
I staked this spot on the fair bank of the Snake River just for you, honey.
It was pivotal, marrying you in Independence. I thought I’d make a life of my own in Oregon; I just needed a ride. And honey, you danced on your tenderfeet all the way up the aisle.
But honey, you shouldn’t have taught me to shoot buffalo so flawlessly. And honey, you should never have traded the last of my good calico for another box of bullets.
Honey, the wagon wasn’t big enough for the both of us.
Maybe you should have died of dysentery.
John Haggerty (7:47pm)
He rolls in at midnight, stops the conversation like a cardiac arrest, smooth fairbank suit, hair slick and without flaws, a honeywagon on his arm who witches all of those men into dogs.
The filthy prospecting rubes down from their gold-dry stakes up in the hills, the knifey thieves and grifters from town, everyone just stares, as he picks up the dice, and though it’s not his turn, whispers, “One pivotal roll, who’s in.”
They lay their pennies down like penitents, and then he’s gone, and they are laid clean, like infants washed in the blood of the lamb.
The winner is the one that knocked my sox off: John Haggerty.
John, if you'll send me your mailing address we'll send you a copy of 101 Things I Learned in Film School and 101 Things I Learned in Business School. And we'll be watching for your query about that novel you've got percolating.